Saturday, March 22, 2008

My Son The Police Officer

I sit here thinking about my son. He is a police officer you know in Texas. If you read my very first blog I told you about how he left his home and family to go to you know where. It is a hot place, with lots of wrong doings, and you are probably thinking "hell, he went to hell", well you are close, it is Texas. I AM JUST KIDDING. Texas is a great place, and I love it more and more now that my son is there. It is just hard to like Texas when it comes to football. And I am a big OU fan with Texas as our arch enemy. And I have many dear friends in Texas so I have to rib them just because I can. (and I love them and they know it!) But I am thinking about my son. I am thinking of all the days, weeks and years it took to raise him. Heck, it started even before that. I was sick during my pregnancy, a lot, and then had an emergency c-section just to get him into this world. I held that tiny baby in my arms and fell in love with him as I knew I would. He was so cute, such a beautiful baby, and his daddy and I were very proud of the life we had brought into this world.

Years go by keeping him safe as a youngster. He did not have too many accidents. Oh he fell off his bike and I think he had a scrape on his head. And he had the normal bumps and bruises through life that most kids get. But no broken bones that I can remember, and no stitches, nothing to major except tubes in the ears and his adenoids removed. That is pretty much it. Lucky aren't I?

Then he turned 16. The Lord knows how I hated that time in our lives. I had to let him drive, I had to release him to the wild, not knowing if he would survive it or not. I had to let him go. I feared for his life and safety EVERY TIME he left our driveway. For the first couple weeks, I would be physically ill. I worried not so much about his driving as I feared he would meet up with some other idiot. By this time his father and I had divorced and he was living with me. His father lived in a small town about 10 miles from our home so that was not too bad. And when I had to be gone for a week teaching officers in OKC he went to stay with his dad. I remember I got a phone call, he was ok, but had an accident. I was sick. He finally talked to me and said he was sick but was on his way to school when he felt like he was going to pass out. He drove off the road to the left (on coming traffic) and hit a little brick decoration at a church driveway. The panic I felt being 90 miles away, not being there to protect him, to take care of him, it was all overwhelming. But he assured me he was fine and to not come home. His step-father, my husband had gone out to take care of him and to help take care of the situation. That gave me some reassurance. That was one of about five accidents he had in about three years time. None major, and two not his fault. Two being backing out of our driveway!!! (family joke, not funny to my son!!!) Oh life was tough, but he made it through that time.

Then he became a police officer. My son mind you is not very big. He is only about 5'4, 5'5 maybe. Must have had too much coffee as a child! He by most standards is short! I worried about him when he was going to apprehend suspects. I worried people would fight him to try and get away from the little guy. I worried that others would feel he couldn't do the job because of his height. I worried that my son would get hurt or killed. He had become a police officer in Tyler, Texas and there have been many shootings there. Both to the law enforcement community and to the citizens of that town. I had heard of the trooper that was ambushed and shot, left to die in the ditch. He lived by the grace of God. Several officers had been involved in shootings, and killings of suspect. It is a horrible part of the job. I know it, I know it happens. I never...NEVER worried about me while I was on the job for nearly 22 years. I did not worry about his father when he was on the department for 20 years. Police work is in his blood, and he is a smart kid, no, he is a smart man. He is trained well, has a very good head on his shoulder. He has been involved in a couple really close calls. He calls me to tell me what happened. It makes me scared, but I want him to call me. Day or night, any time, just call me and tell me. He does. We have that kind of a relationship. He called me at 3:00 in the morning when he caught his first burglar. That was cool. He called on his first pursuit, his first fight and other firsts. I don't care, call me. But I still worry. My son means the world to me. So does my daughter, but this story is about my son. I worry that in this day and age he could one day be doing his job and while protecting the community of Tyler, Texas, a mean spirited, no good, low down, scum suckin' maggot, could, and I do mean could, take the life of my son. I cringe just thinking about it. He could give his life for people he doesn't know, don't care about him, won't remember him next month. He could do all the good in the world that his life will allow him and be killed by ungrateful, horrible people that exist in this world today. Some times I cry just thinking about it. It is just like our military people, but this story is about MY son today.

Then I think, it is no different that God sent His son, His only son, into a world of hateful, unappreciative people to protect and serve them. The greatest law enforcement officer in the world our Jesus Christ. And he too was killed by those in this world for no reason, no reason but just because. I am not comparing my son to Jesus. I am just saying I know how I feel about MY son, I know how I would feel if something would happen to him. I just think Mary had to have her heart ripped out of her chest. The pain had to be like many mothers who have lost their children. So tomorrow as Easter comes I am thinking how God gave his Son to us so that our sins can be forgiven. So we can be in heaven for eternal life. He gave his Son so that we may live and choose. Good thing God was willing to do that. For I can tell you right now, I fear losing my son, I could never send him to Tyler knowing I would lose him to ungrateful people. God's heart is lot bigger than mine. Thank you God for sending Jesus Christ so that we may live, if you are of Christian faith I think you will understand what I am saying when I say, tomorrow, Easter sure has a special meaning, Christ has risen.


Eckmama said...


That was awesome.

Shirley said...

Such a touching post. We as parents can all identify with the deep agony Mary must have felt as she watched her amazing son give his life for the world.

Christ is Risen.

Tara said...

Haven't had much time to read many posts yet, but Yay for you on getting your playlist going on your blog!!!