Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year....

Well Almost!

Hello everyone, hope you are all doing fine. I have survived a very hectic Christmas that did not turn out as I had hoped, but you know, life is full of surprises. I have decided that people really do whatever "their" priorities are and that is about it. Getting together any more is just if people really want to, if it does not put them out too much. I can remember as a young girl we went to my grandma/pa B's house every Christmas eve. It was grandpa's birthday. I can remember one night my aunt D.A. got me my very own birthstone ring. I still have that ring. I was not very old, I bet about 8 or nine years old at the most. I loved that ring. We would get together with all our cousins and I was the second oldest. We would run around the house playing and I bet we drove the adults crazy, but it was sure good times. Then the next day we would get up early and open our gifts at our own house. Then later in the afternoon we would drive the short distance to my dad's parents house. Oh how I loved my grandma and grandpa. Grandma was my step grandma, but I never saw her that way. My real grandmother passed away when I was only three. Grandma J WAS my grandma. I can remember a big table full of food in the dining room of their little home and us kids eating in the kitchen. But it didn't matter, we weren't in there very long. Again, we would get up and go play. We did not see our cousins very often and we loved getting together any time we could. And again, I seem to remember doing things that caused us to get in trouble. Like playing in the basement that was not made for us to play in, and running all around. But you know, I do not have any memory of any adult "yelling" at us to quit or to be quiet. I only remember good times. I remember sitting in the living room and we would open our present. But the best gift of all was playing with all the cousins.
It seems we don't do that any more. Seems we don't get together very often at all. Seems we are all so busy that life just passes us by and we don't have that family time like we used to. That bothers me. Maybe it is because I am the "middle child", the peace maker, the people pleaser. But what ever the reason is, I miss it. I miss the fact that my kids and their cousins will not have grown up spending much time together. I hope they have good memories though. I did not get to spend much time with all my cousins, but when we got together it was ALWAYS so much fun. Jumping on the bed in nothing but our underwear....I so remember that. Riding horses and falling off, going out in the woods playing in the creek when we were told not to, or holding firecrackers in our hands and throwing them. And getting hurt! But those were the good times. Running and laughing, dreaming of things to do, thinking of ways to get around the things we were told NOT to do. Sometimes getting caught, sometimes we didn't. Sometimes we got hurt, sometimes we got lucky. I remember those days as if they were only yesterday and it truly brings a smile to my face. Now we are older and just don't seem to make the time to make those memories any more. I wish my family on both sides were closer to each other, but that's just it, we are not close in spirit or distance and that makes a difference. Distance does make it hard and I accept that. But I also know my own family all lives right here and we don't get together very often at all. And the holidays are about the only time I hear from them. I miss my family. I miss the dream of moving back home and having the quality time with my brothers and their families. I miss the dream of things being different than they are. So will we get together for the New Year? I doubt it. We didn't get together for Christmas, so I doubt that we will do anything for the New Year. I hope it is a good year. This one has been pretty tough on me. I am not complaining, for I truly believe that God is in control. Sometimes that is a little difficult for me, I am such...SUCH a controlling person, but I do believe He is in control.
I am hoping to get a job this year. I have one in mind that I am waiting for an interview. Don't know that I will get one, but I hope they at least call me. I think I am "perfect" for the job, but we will see what is in store. I am hoping that my kind heart does not come back and bite my in the back side. I am referring to the renter that has not paid rent for almost three months now. Hope that if he moves out he does not destroy my house. I hope we can sell the little home and get rid of that extra payment. Never dreamed when we retired that finances would be so tough. Never dreamed I would be taking care of so many people in need. I have to keep my chin up and my spirits up. That is the right thing to do. Sometimes it is a little hard, but it is still the right thing.
So as I look back over this past year, yes, I am glad it is over. I look forward to 2010 and hope it brings a change of things in my life. I hope to become a better person for this world. I hope to leave my mark on it in just a way that is pleasing to God and to this community. I hope that my health changes a bit and I work on being healthier. I hope that I am blessed to keep taking pictures of my new and old friends. So here is to the new year. If you are out celebrating please be careful. And if you are staying in to celebrate, have fun and remember something good of this past year. I am well, I am healthy, and I am blessed in many ways. 2010 will be a very good year.

Saturday, December 12, 2009