Friday, September 3, 2010

Introduction to Todd

New Houseguest...
Well we are starting to settle in with our new house guest. Todd is really a great kid and we are so happy that our lives are enriched by his presense. Everyone is so nice to say how lucky Todd is to be in our home...and although I do appreciate those comments, I want to tell you how blessed WE ARE to have him. My life was good before, but now I feel so, so, so needed? So full of love? So happy, I don't know what words to use but I do like the feeling. Yes it is stressful, I can not deny that, yesterday was a VERY hard day. I have spent more time on the phone than I have in ages. I have had a horrible headache, and I am tired. But I have something I am working towards, I have a goal, a mission, a job. I have had my eyes opened as to how "other" people get treated at school when you are not known and helped and liked. Wow, what an eye opening experience to be a part of the real world. In Enid I never dealt with these types of problems that I have with Todd. The school we enrolled in him was not in our district..had to get a transfer. Ok, we did. Toured the school, got his school supplies, bus route figured out, clothes bought, let him skip the first day (sorry) to go dove hunting with all my family (men folk!). We got a phone call that he was not able to attend school there for he was in fact in the 9th grade not 8th. Now we have to send him to a totally different school. Was advised to NOT attend the large school that is closest to us. Many many issues with it. And not the best enviroment for Todd. So we went to the little country school about 10 miles away. They fought me on wanting to go there. We have the right to go where ever we want and they can not refuse she tried on the card that I am not his legal guardian. Oh yes I am. But she says no for the papers are not signed by a judge. I explained we are not taking his mothers rights away from her, he is living with us till she is able to take care of him (ie, get out of jail). She fought me more and I had to beg and plead. NEVER have I been made to feel so bad about a child needing to go to school. She told me she (the school) has a reputation for high academics. Todd will not achieve those same high levels. The boy has not attened school regularly for the past three years. Texas passed him due to his age not ability. I talked to them too. They were hateful. Asked me if I expected them to give Todd a permanent parking space, how many times did I expect them to retain him. I had some snappy comeback, don't remember what it was, but I was truly offended that a COUNSELOR would speak of a child in that manner and especially to a stranger. She made some comment when I told her I was the person who has taken Todd into my home and I asked her what "I" could do to help him. She said something this and that, and then said "well God bless you", it was meant to be sarcastic, and I replied "thank you, He certainly already has!"

Ok, I put this post on hold and now I have lots more to talk about. I should learn to write more often and smaller postings, but just does not seem to work that way with me.

Well we got him into school and he had a pretty good first day....however I cried like a baby. I felt so bad taking him to a school that just was not "friendly" towards him, but he seemed to have a good day. We took him out to eat at Freddies, a famous steak house in Sapulpa and my parents came, my daughter and her boyfriend came and then even my cousin and her husband came. We had a nice visit, and hopefully made Todd feel really good about himself. The next day was Friday and seemed to be a pretty good day as well. So I was told. Until he got into the last two periods of the day. A girl (new friend) told him a guy wanted to fight him. Over her. He is some ex kind of friend so she says. The boy and his "friends" were waiting for Todd after class. Todd went to the office and requested to speak to the counselor. One of the boys was in the office with him and the secretary kept asking him why he "needed" to talk to the counselor, but the boy was standing right behind Todd. He just told her he needed to talk to her. Finally she went and got a different principal than the one we had trouble with while enrolling him, and said right out loud, "I don't know why he needs to see the counselor, he won't tell me". S o she took him into the office and Todd told her there was going to be an altercation and he wanted to avoid it. She asked him who it was and Todd said he didn't know the boy. She said, you go to school here and you don't know who is threatening you? He said, this is only my second day of school here. She then asked him why he had a pencil in his hand, was he going to stab the kid? He told her no.Now if all this conversation really took place...I AM OFFENDED. But we will see. T oday is a new day.

I have been taking pictures of Todd, partly because I want to, and partly because HE wants me to. It has been fun, I enjoy it, and he seems to enjoy it too. He has enjoyed his new clothes, lays them out on the bed and matches them with this and that just to see how they look. He says he is a girl when it come to his clothes, I think it is that he hasn't had new clothes and he like lookin' good. I am hoping that he fabricates a lot. If he is telling me the truth about half of the things he says, then he has had LOTS of money in his life....I just don't believe it, he has NOTHING to show for it, so I don't believe it. No bling, no fancy cars, no money of any kind I just don't think he is telling the full truth about his whole past. I think it sounds good in Texas, with other people, but it does not sound all that to me. He will have to learn a new past, new stories to tell, new things to be proud of.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Road Trip

Marge, you won't believe this !!!!!
In case you have not heard on facebook, Scott and I are going to welcome a 15 year old young man into your home! This guy has been introduced to us via TJ and his "professional" meeting with Todd. Todd's family is not available to take care of him and this young man needs some structure, guidance, and love. This young man needs a place to lay his head, and some meat on his bones. And I can take care of all these add a helping of love, care and acceptance. So as of right now, I am packing my bags, heading to Texas, picking him, taking him to visit his mother that is three hours away from him and then bringing him home to start a new life at least for a while. We are so excited to have this young man. TJ thinks the kid has soo much potential and we are at this time happy to offer him the chance. Will fill you in more later, but just wanted people to know we are so looking forward to having a new guest in our home!

Thursday, August 12, 2010


It has been TWO MONTHS??? (well almost!)
I can not believe it has been nearly two months since I last blogged. So much has been going on and if I really tried to write about it all, you would be reading for the whole next week or two. Man I sure do wish some certain people would get on facebook so they could keep up with me and my doings a lot easier!!! (marge!)
Well we have had company or been gone or have been doing something special for this whole summer. In my last posting we had gone and gotten the grandkids under rather urgent circumstances. We kept them for a week till their mother was able to get finished in the hay field where she was bailing hay for a "friend". The kids did not need to be out there in that extreme heat day AND night, and plus I loved having them here safe and sound with me. Caleb had been with his other grandparents for 21 days and loved it, so his time here with us was more of the same......spoiling him like crazy. But hey, isn't that what grandparents are for? The kids went home and then we kept them again so Chris and Sarah could go out of state to a wedding, then Allie went home and Caleb stayed a while longer.
I may not have all my dates correct for the summer is such a blur, but we had our friends from Texas with their four children come stay with us over the 4th of July weekend. We went fishing and all the kids caught a fish, we shot off fireworks which they had not done before, we ate smores, we stayed up late, we watched a couple movies which is a HUGE treat for them. They are not allowed to watch hardly ANY tv at their home. Reading is what they do a lot of and very limited computer time too.
We had such a good time they extended their stay by a day and then drove all the way home to San Antonio via east Texas. I think we are going to start doing this every year. Cara is another blogger, a wonderful photographer, and an awesome mom/home school teacher/wife...etc. We had a much needed bonding time together. Her mother Cathy was one of my three best friends of many many years and passed away of breast cancer three years ago on Sept. 6th. Cara and I had not been together since her mothers death and oh my goodness, it was just awesome to reconnect. Hugs and kisses were never so sweet in all my life. And the kids were really good. Jarrod just put up with us and all our silliness (he was just awesome too, made the trip all the sweeter by his kindness)
Now we are planning to meet in Texas, rent a cabin, and spent more time together here pretty soon. I am going to bring their youngest son back home with me and let him stay for a week and give him some special "grandma" time since his real grandma is not here to do it. I know Cathy would be very grateful that I would do this, and it is my pleasure to step up to the plate and do it. Plus it gives me a chance to share my experiences with them about their grandmother as I KNEW her. And I might even have some pictures to share with them too. Oops, that just made me start crying...dang these tears. Still miss her so much.
After Cara and her family left I had the grandkids again. This might be when the parents went out of state to the wedding now that I think about it! then we kept Caleb for a bit longer (two weeks) so we could have our time with him before school starts. Then after we sent Caleb home our dear friends from Georgia came to visit. Mike and Nancy arrived on Saturday with "Gator" a Yorkie that is a hoot to play with. He is getting older, he was a puppy when Mike got him for Becky. they used to come see us when we lived in Enid and he and Zoe would play and play together. Becky has since died of cancer also and Mike married Nancy whom Gator has taken up with and will not eat if Nancy is not in the room to watch him. Mike's parents were going to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary the next Sunday and we went to Enid with them to help host it. Of course I took pictures! Mike said it is the first time they had family pictures taken since in the 70's when his brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. I was honored to be a part of it!!!
After Mike and Nancy left, and after the wedding anniversary party, i think I slept for nearly two days. Then TJ and Amanda came home for a little more than 24 hours. They drove up on Saturday and left Sunday afternoon. We had such a GREAT visit. So needed, much bonding and healing, just a wonderful time together. There is no doubt in my mind that God had his healing hand in it for we were getting very far apart and this allowed us to once again bring our loving family back together where it belongs. Amanda made me a beautiful bracelet, and I did not have any bracelets at all. Then we went to Hobby Lobby and bought the stuff to make two more which I just love. she is very talented and I am so grateful for my gift. I will try to get a picture of it and post at some point in time (but don't hold your breath, right Marge?)
We have gotten involved in church quite a bit and I have hosted one night of Hearts and Hands. Plus attended two work days with our school teachers in need of help, went to a luncheon for a church member that moved away and then returned, plus a couple committee meetings. then of course had to go to a get together party that involved food, fun and fellowship!!! I have been a busy little camper. AND some where in all of this I have done a couple maternity shoots, a newborn, a family, and of course the grandkids....well Caleb and his grandpa! So I think you can see and we can all agree, I have not been wasting too much of my time. PLUS we have FINALLY gotten the last door for the kitchen so we can now complete the kitchen. Yes, it is two months behind the promise date, we will see if they offer a reduction in price and if they don't offer it, I will ask(demand) one of at least 10%. Don't you think that is fair?
Wrong doors, wrong cabinets, wrong size, broken doors, replace the replacement doors, oops, broken again, and then once again, yes, that makes about four replacements, and finally, FINALLY just last week the last door arrived and it was not broken, it was the correct size and color, so now we need to get the kitchen finish!
THEN SCOTT NEEDS TO GET A JOB!!!!! I need some alone time.....oh wait. Scott is going on a hunting trip with TJ for 10 days to dove hunt and maybe get to hog hunt and then go with TJ while he gets to Antelope hunt in western Oklahoma. You can only get drawn once in a life time and TJ got drawn. I hope to start getting some photoshoots this fall, for the spring was too wet, the early summer was either too wet or too hot, and there has NOT been a "good" time to do outdoor shoots. This has been crazy. We are now on our 11th day of over 100 degree heat in a row, plus back in June we had over 100 degree heat index temps. so this has been a wild summer.
Ok Marge, that is what I have been up to, but no pictures....sorry, this has taken long enough as it is. Debbie, Tonjia, Momma and others, you have been keeping up with me on facebook, but I need to get back into blogging. No, I need to start doing something beside sitting at the computer! bye you guys!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Grand kid visit

First time in a LONG time.

Well I am blessed to have the grand kids again. We have been so busy in the past few months with the kitchen remodel, and then of course dealing with Zoe's sickness and of course her passing, that we have not had the kids for several months. I don't think we have had them since about March. I know I did not see them for my birthday in May nor for Mothers Day. Here it is the end of June so getting to see them is nice.

We went to see a movie yesterday, Toy Story 3. I had been warned that it was sad and a tissue would be needed. I had time believing that, but yes, it is true. I think it would only be a tissue alert for those of us that have children moving on, whether it is for college or just moving out to move on with life. For Andy goes off to college and must decide what to do with Woody, Buzz and the gang. What an adventure they have. I think it is truly nice when a movie for children can have such an in depth plot and story line to it. So if you are up for a cute movie I can recommend it but will tell you to take a tissue or get an extra napkin with your popcorn for the ending!

Caleb has asked us to find him a friend for when he comes here to visit us. I thought that was cute and honestly I have been trying to find someone around our neighborhood with a boy about 8 or 9 years old. No luck. But since we have gotten involved with church we have found a family that we really like and guess what??? They have a boy that is 8 1/2 !!! Caleb turns 9 the end of July so this is perfect. Yesterday was Joe's Half Birthday...He is born on Christmas Day. So his parents do a half birthday for him and I think that is AWESOME. I would feel cheated if my birthday were to fall on Christmas day. I have a hard enough time with my birthday being within 10 days or so of Mothers Day. Seems I get that combined gift instead of two separate ones...what a rip off. (I am just kidding kind of!) I just like to be acknowledged for both and the significance of them both. So we took Joe with us to the movie and he thought that was pretty special.
Update to this posting: Today is now Wed. 6-30-10...
The kids went home today. Boy it is just so hard on me to have them both at the same time. Allie is so cute, talking more and more. but still so hard to understand and life is so complicated when you can't communicate properly. Do I hear an Amen on that?
Caleb is growing up so much. He loves to sing our children church songs and I love it to. I can sing loud and out of tune and who cares? He never complains. The problem with having the both at the same time? One goes to bed early and one goes late, one gets up early and one gets up late.....And me??? I go to bed late and have to get up early. I can do that for a little while but after that I start getting really really tired.
Today I had a meeting with some ladies from church and I am being given the opportunity to speak on personal safety at church. We will have our program and then do a salad dinner. I am sooo excited that I can't hardly stand it. I have not spoke in front of a crowd since I retired three years ago. I am so looking forward to getting back into the saddle again. I will get to do an one hour program then we will go and eat!!! My two favorite things to do! Talk and eat!
Ok, that is my goin' ons here! Enjoyed the kids, getting ready for dear dear friends to arrive with their family of six. They are spending the weekend WITH ME!!! I have not seen them in FIVE years and I plan to spoil the kids ROTTEN. We will have so much fun. Cara is a photographer like me, well she does a lot more work and is better at it than I am, but I can at least say "like me" and hopefully not offend her! Her momma and I were dear dear friends, they have one of my puppy dogs (Zoe's babies, Rudy and Callie's Sister) and I have loved watching Cara grow up, marry and have her own babies. I have bought my fireworks, toys and fun things to do while they are here, and now I need to finish my grocery shopping. Then of course I have to clean the house for it is a MESS after having grand kids, and remodeling the kitchen. I still don't have things put all back together, and the kitchen still is NOT finish. I am determined we will not worry about it now. They will be here Friday. Then later this month my other dear friends from GA will be here for a few days. (ha ha ha, I first typed weeks and had to go back and change it!!! But I would love for them to be here for weeks....I am trying to talk them into buying the house next door. This is going to be a busy month too I think. But I am finding....THAT IS LIFE! Enjoy it to the end.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Kitchen Remodel

New Kitchen
When we bought this house nearly three years ago, the first thing we were going to do was clean out the garage and then have Scott remodel this 1970's kitchen. Even though the house was built in the early 80's it was caught up in the late 70's feel. I HATED IT WITH A PASSION. Three years later the same kitchen was in my house. Even though I had bought a new stove/oven, by now the warranty was up and it had not even been plugged in!!! hahaha.
While we were shopping with my parents for replacement doors for their rent house, we went into a cabinet store and I fell in love. Scott had said this was a discount store for cabinets and I had already drawn up plans as to what I the process began. I am not sure about the discount part, but I do know that the layout was what I wanted and I loved the cabinets.

I know this looks as if I am a horrible house keeper, well I am not the best, but this is the kitchen after ...AFTER we started packing things and Scott had already started tearing parts of the cabinets out. We had this old drop ceiling with the Plexiglass (?) where the florescent lights shined through. Do you know what I am talking about at all? I know its day it was the thing, but for me it became nothing but a bug catcher. I did not clean them, they looked nasty, and I was ashamed. Scott has them torn down already in these pictures thank goodness!
Let me describe this kitchen. You walk in and the sink is right in front of you. The stove is to the right of the sink on the bar area. To the left of the sink was the oven on the south wall, over by the refrigerator. The pantry was to the left of the refrigerator and was a nice size but hard to reach around and find what you needed in it.
Now with this new kitchen I decided to add a buffet/hutch style piece of furniture. I knew I was going to need more space for when we took out the stove I wanted the bar to be an open area to just open the kitchen up for a larger feel. This buffet area is where I plan to set food to get ready to serve or I could put the plates and glasses there with the food on the bar. Either way, I was thrilled to add that to the kitchen.

One of the larger expenses was the change in the electrical work. We had the house electric all upgraded. The panel was old and did not have replacement "stuff" for it. (don't know what it is called unless it is called breakers) So with the upgrade we installed canned lights (I love them) and the track light over the bar area. There is pretty much enough light now. We also put in a ceiling fan in the dinning area for the back part of the house is just so much hotter and we wanted something to just stir the air. I am so glad we did. We also had separate breakers installed for things like the microwave, trash compactor etc. no more throwing breakers while using the microwave, electric skillet and watching tv at the same time!!! Hip hip hooray.

Scott fixed the sink and plywood counter tops for me to use until the new ones arrived. He was very good to keep my kitchen functioning as there was a lot on my "plate" at that time with Zoe being so sick. I really needed to be able to fix her food, anything at all trying to entice her to eat. I was very grateful he was willing to do that for me. You can see in this picture the cabinets are in, as well as the appliance, but the crown molding is not in place. The cabinet to the left of the sink is the wrong size. It was to be a 15" but instead they sent a 12" cabinet. One of about a dozen mistakes, but I am very patient with them know that things just happen. Scott was extremely disappointed in all the mistakes and called them on them and luckily for us Kevin has made everything right. He has been a dream to work with and told us they are getting tons of complaints for the factory had laid off several people during the winter and slow times. Now that the weather is good, people are wanting to remodel the house and the company hired new workers....with no experience. They are paying for that mistake. Scott has not let them off the hook for any reason and I honestly am glad. He was harder on them than I would be, but he is a cabinet maker for Pete sake and will not put up with this junk. I am pretty sure we will NEVER be buying pre made cabinets again in our lives.....but I bet next time he will get on it quicker than three years. Ha haha.....

Here my granite counter tops are arriving. Oh I love my granite. We had it in Enid and I loved it there and wanted it again. Yes it is a luxury, but I did want it, got it on sale for a price I feel was very affordable, and I am a happy camper!
It took all three of these guys to bring in the slab for the bar area. They had to cut the granite into three different sections which I am not crazy about. But I will say this... the seams are pretty much invisible. I know where they are, but I bet you walking in the kitchen will not see them. You won't be looking for them and they do NOT jump out at you. So I am grateful for that.

The next day Scott was getting the plumbing all set up and he quietly hollered at me to come see. I walked in and he just looked at me and grinned. Both the dogs were there helping. Since Zoe has passed away there are now only two. Otherwise I feel pretty certain all three would have been right there making sure Scott did it right!

Here the cabinets are installed, the crown molding is up and the counter tops are in place. I had actually fixed dinner and was waiting on Beth (daughter) to come over and eat with us. We are still needing to fix a few things at the time of this picture, but I got that bull whip out and most of all the projects are now done.

This is the back splash, tumbled marble and I love it. the lines are really straight, it is just me taking a crooked picture. Good grief. But I have since got the grouting done, and the electrical outlets back in place. I think it looks really nice, but I have not taken a picture of the finished product. I now have stuff on the counter top waiting to be put away. Not sure where to put everything, it did not give me as much storage as I thought it was going to, and finding a home for everything has proven to be very challenging. I lost my hand mixer and we had to go on a hunt to find it. After quite a while it was found under the cabinet on the lazy Susan shelf. I told Scott it will be like Christmas every day in there...looking for the stuff and finding the "gift". Good grief!

I will try to get some pictures of the final project, I am happy as a clam right now with this new kitchen. I feel my home is now a modern, more appealing place to entertain. I can't wait to have company, or a church party here at the house. I am very proud of what we have done, feel good about our home and it even encourages me to keep the dishes done!!!!!
Marge, this posting is mostly for you since everyone else follows me on facebook and has already seen the pictures. But I remembered you have not so I had to post this "just for you". Plus you have seen the before in real life, now you just need to come see me again and see the after product. I think you will be very pleased with what you see.
love to all my girls,

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Short Update

Sad News
I just wanted to let you know, those that do not follow me on facebook, that Zoe passed away Friday June 4th, 2010 at 12:24 pm. I have never cried so hard in all my life. And when I was feeling very shallow for crying SO hard over a "dog" (my four legged child, friend, loyal faithful companion) I remembered, I have never lost anything that I was so attached to. In all my life, my 50 years on this earth, I have been truly blessed to have not lost many in my life. Yes, I have lost my grandparents, and that was hard. But I did not live close to them, saw them rarely, loved them dearly, but distance did make it different. Same with losing my aunt and uncle. When you do not have a connection with someone, when you don't ever see them, the relationship is not as strong. So this death has been very difficult for me. I am fine. I am sad, but fine. I am still grieving very much, cry at weird times, and yes, I am sad, a lot. But I know I am going to be fine. I do look at the big picture, I know that Zoe was not going to be here forever, 10 years and 20 days. I was not ready to let her go, but I have said before ....this is not about me, this is about my special girl. She finally told me the last week that she was tired. She had a hard time getting around, she would not eat, and I tried EVERYTHING. When she looked at me for the first time with those eyes and I saw not really sadness, but tiredness, I knew it was time. When she had a hard time getting outside (and she NEVER had an accident in the house, even during this sickness!) she looked lost, I knew the time was close. I prayed a lot, I prayed that God would just take her, please don't MAKE me make the decision. That is the part I have the hardest time with. I know I know, everyone says it is the "humane" thing to do. Well I don't see it that way. I see it as taking a life. I took her life. She did not die, I took her life. That is the hardest part for me to get over. I miss her. I miss her not greeting me at the front door, or at the gate. I miss her not sitting by me and putting her head in my lap. I miss her. I just miss her. A LOT. How is it that some people get really attached to dogs, or pets in general. How come others don't? What does that say about me....or others? I have always said that I in fact have a bit of attachment disorder. I have said about myself often that I can give things up and give things away with little emotional distress. But when it came to Zoe and her offspring, I have never NEVER never had this type of feelings towards anyone or anything. Now I truly dread the end for Rudy and Callie. I do not want another dog, I don't want any other pets, that might change, but right now the pain is just too raw.
But on to happier things.....the kitchen is getting nearly done. There are still a few things waiting to be completed. One 15" cabinet is not in yet, four doors need to be replaced or installed, the back splash needs to be installed and then finish painting and cleaning up. I am gaining on it. but boy howdy, in the mean time, my yard is sure being neglected...oh my goodness. So we still have much to do. We are moving Beth ONCE again this weekend. It did not work out for her to rent from my elderly cousin and without taking sides, I think it is best the Beth move on to another place. She found a house two miles from her work so that will save a ton of money on gasoline since she drives an SUV. She is paying out the nose on utilities so hopefully this house will be better in that respect. It is a newer home, more sound, a bit smaller but I think it will be a much better place for her. It also has a 6 ft wooden fence all around it and hopefully will be much more secure for her dogs. Please keep Beth in your prayers that she will be successful in this home...for I do not know what she will do if this one falls through. But I think she will be so much happier in her new home, I really do. The town is a wonderful little town that is growing by leaps and bounds, but does not have the traffic congestion of a big city, plus it boarders Tulsa so she can still go to Tulsa if she "needs" to. She will really do good in Owasso.
I will close for now. I am fixing dinner in my almost completed new kitchen. I will post some pictures one day here pretty soon. I just love the look and feel AND function of this new kitchen. One bright spot to be thankful for and I am. Besides all my friends. Thanks you all.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Life's Happenings

Hello All
Well life continues on. Have you notices that no matter what is going on in your world, life really does continues to spin. As it should be. There is a lot going on here in my world too.
Zoe is still in my life, but just barely. I have really struggled with this, but each day I look at her and she is wasting away. I know the end is very near and my heart just breaks. But then I think that I have to do what is best for her. This is NOT about me and let me assure you it has NEVER been about me. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I am not keeping her around for me, I am keeping her alive because SHE wants to live. But now I feel she is just worn out. She is struggling and I know she is still so happy, she has NEVER been grumpy one bit, but she is wearing down. So I feel in my heart this week will come to an end for her, she is not eating and it is not fair to make her live a life where she can not eat. I love her more than any words can tell you. And I hate that life makes us make these decisions. But she has brought me more joy in my life than anything.
Our kitchen is nearly complete. I am so excited. But this kitchen has been extremely difficult for Scott. The cabinets are NOT the quality that he would have put into them. And the parts were not all delivered as they should have been, two cabinets were not even the right ones. So this has been very stressful for Scott. Now for me, it has been pretty much a breeze! (just kidding, if Scott is stressed it causes me pain as well. I don't like seeing him struggle) The cabinets are very pretty, and Scott has done a great job pulling it all together. But let me assure you of this....NEVER again will we ever buy cabinets. They are so cheaply made, and cost so much. However, I have only been waiting for two and a half years for this kitchen to get remodeled and I asked Scott if he was ok with the cabinets. He gave the final approval, so I don't feel too guilty. (maybe next time he will move just a little bit quicker huh?) I did find the microwave, ventahood on sale at Sears. I was happy about that. Then we ran over to Lowe's and found the faucet on sale as well. I didn't get the doors that I ordered, but I have been living with the other ones now for over a week and I think they are going to be just fine. So I can cancel the order and save $300.00, and it is worth it to me. After the kitchen is done, I will try to post some before and after pictures. I am so happy that my house is starting to look just a bit more modern! Thursday the counter tops will be here.....wooohooo, can't wait!
I am getting to become a non fan of face book. When I first signed on I was excited to reconnect with friends. I have not lived in Sand Springs in about 30 years so reconnecting meant a lot to me. It allowed me to stay connected to my friends from Enid and now reconnect with friends here and of course family. But I have decided it is the family thing that has caused the most grief. There are things being said on face book that I would never say to a person face. And I feel if you aren't going to say it to ones face why would you post it on the Internet for everyone else to read? Now things have been posted that are opinions derived from lies and angry people. Want to guess who it was written about? I didn't even know it was about me at the beginning, but it went on and I was not only the victim of this garbage, but it carried over to others. When I asked for it to stop, phone calls were made to my mother. All of it was denied....yet it was right there on the Internet. I don't understand why anyone would do that. I love my family, and now I am so wounded by their words and actions. Why is it that family has to be this way. This is not done by my blood family, but it still hurts just the same. I have decided that I have to just let my world keep spinning. I know what is right and what is wrong. I know that I have done what is right....I tend to ALWAYS try and take the high road ( and honestly I do get VERY tired of it.....once I would like to do something MEAN, I would like to be HATEFUL, I would like to CUSS someone out and just unload....but that is NOT what is right!) I try, I try VERY hard to do what is right. No I am not always right, and I certainly am not perfect....but I give it my all, I put my heart right out there, and it keeps getting stomped on. I just don't understand it, I really don't. I have more love in my heart than what you could ever measure. I try to be good to everyone, I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But I will tell you this.....once you betray me, once you purposely hurt me, once you cut my throat, stab me in the back, I don't forget it. I may get over this, it will take time and I might get over it, but until then, I will not try to maintain a relationship. TRUE relationships MUST work both ways, and when it is not important to both people or groups of people, to try to be considerate of each other, then that relationship is doomed. I am finding it is so much easier to have friends rather than family and that BREAKS my heart. Zoe never hurt me, never betrayed me, unlike the humans in my life and now I have to kill her. Life is NOT fair. But while I am here dealing with all this.....the world keeps spinning.

Friday, May 21, 2010

50 IS Pretty Nifty

Best Birthday Ever

Well I have not posted in a while, been pretty tough around here. Zoe is holding her own and yesterday was a good day for her. But MY yesterday is a whole other story. I turned 50...yes that is right the big 5-0. And you know what? It was wonderful. Having a birthday party was/is a BIG deal to me. I have only had one birthday party in my life and that is when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. However, yesterday was filled with so many good things.
We started the day very early and went to Stillwater to watch my grandson be a boll weevil in the school play "Bugs". I didn't take my camera, I wanted to just be grandma and enjoy the program. Their school is small on space and large on students and parents so you can't see very well at all, can't hear very well at all, and Caleb was there and then gone. Then came back later to sing and dance the Army Any song. It was about 30 minutes but it was well worth the drive there and back. We took Caleb to lunch, he wanted to go to Pizza Hut and we went. Taking him back to school, dropping him off, he said, I miss you grandma, when can I come stay with you? I didn't know what to say, told him to ask him mom and dad and he can come when ever they will let him. I hugged him, kissed him on the head and he did what he ALWAYS does.....he takes his little hand and he rubs in the kiss so it will stay. He has done that long as I can remember and it is so sweet. He smiled at me with that big boy smile, walked into the hall and walked away. He turned back around and gave me a little wave and went off to class. I walked out of the school and a tear slipped down my cheek. In ONE YEAR he will be gone....In ONE YEAR he will be moving to the east coast if his mom and dad are still in the Navy then and still together. Nobody knows the future, who knows what next year will bring, but in ONE YEAR, my world is going to be turned completely upside down. There is no way to explain to "some" people what a grandchild means. How you so look forward to a phone call from them, or an overnight visit. Those cards on Mother's Day, or your Birthday, or Grandparents Day. A drawing from their little hands to be placed on the refrigerator with pride. Yes, grandchildren are special in ways that only some people can understand.
I came home from the program and checked the mail. I hoped that maybe I would get a birthday card. I can pretty well count on one hand who I might get a card from on my special day. It is Aunt Peggy =), or Linda J =), and then maybe .....nope, that's pretty much it! But yesterday I opened the mailbox and oh my gosh.....I had several cards. I could not believe it. One card I didn't even know the return address.....wait, it was from someone in L.A. I thought about it, I looked a little closer and the name was Bern, OH MY GOSH......that is a blogger friend that I have enjoyed getting to know, how in the world? And then I look a little closer and there are other cards with address that I did not recognize. My heart leaped with joy. This was super weird though. I get on the computer and check my facebook (tons!!!!! of birthday wishes there), then I remembered something, I was signed out of facebook one day and I had NOT done that. I was seeing all these clues but could not put it together. I went into my message center on facebook and checked the sent box .....nothing there. This was just too stinkin weird. My daughter called and I told her I had cards in the mail today, a bunch of them. And from addresses I didn't recognize. She made some comment, I don't remember what, life went on. I took me quite a while to figure out she had something to do with this. She hacked into my facebook account and sent messages to all my friends and asked for them to send me cards. She sent so many messages that she got blocked from facebook for two days for she was considered to be spamming. She said it was terrible to get blocked from facebook! I laughed at her! I think that was really really sweet of her to go to that trouble to send messages to my friends to send me a card. She said she hoped I really am friends with every one on my facebook for they all have my address now!!!! I told her I was, I don't just friend everyone that asks me to on facebook, I have to know them or won't accept them. I kept my cards and waited till dinner to open them.
Dinner....oh yes, Dinner. Beth asked me what I would like to do for my birthday dinner. I usually have liver and onions with mashed potatoes and then strawberry shortcake for dessert. but I don't have a kitchen right now due to the remodel job taking place AND I don't think Beth likes liver and onions. (don't remember her ever eating it before). So I said I wanted to go to the Melting Pot. Never have been there and I have always wanted to try it. We head over there (Beth and her boyfriend Matt, Scott and myself) to dinner and realize, I don't know where it is. Thank goodness Beth has Internet on her phone and she located the address. I thought I knew where it was and come to find out, I was right. We got there only a couple minutes late. Walked in and there sat my cousin Jill who is like my sister, her husband Toby and their grown married daughter Courtney. Three of my favorite people showed up too. I was shocked, surprised and pleased!. Jill is not a birthday person. She does not "do"birthdays but she is so thoughtful knowing that I DO, DO birthdays. And here they were at one of the most expensive places to do dinner and they did not even bat an eye. I feel so special. A gift on the table and more cards. So while we waited on food and waited for the "process" or "experience" or whatever you want to call it, I opened my cards. I read each one and savored how EACH card truly fitted the person sending it, and how it fitted me....perfectly. I loved it. It was truly such a special event. And I can tell you this.....if you decide to go to the Melting Pot, just cut to the chase and go for the dessert. Oh my gosh, strawberries, marshmallows, rice crispy treats, cheesecake, pound cake, brownies, all that to be dipped into a luscious chocolate melted to perfection. The cheese with veggies was good. The broth and meats were delicious. The lettuce wrap was .....awful...but the dessert.....was WONDERFUL. Worth every single penny we spent....and there were quite a few pennies!!!!
Now Saturday, we are having a PARTY. I am so excited. Poor Beth started out just planning a simple gathering of my brothers and their families and us. I wanted more than that. I love my family, there is a lot of stress and tension in my family right now that I am NOT going to write about. But sometimes I NEED my friends. I have some really good friends that are new to me here in Sand Springs. I have some really good friends left behind in Enid, and I wanted some of my friends to be invited. Well my mom didn't want outsiders so Beth said she would have it at her house. After my list got longer, I told her we needed to check at the community center and get a room there. So we did. Today she went and got the decorations, I am making a list of the foods I want to fix, keeping it very simple of course, and I need to find a punch (an easy one!) and then tomorrow, TOMORROW, I shall celebrate my second birthday party. At the age of Fifty I feel so giddy. I feel special, I feel......I don't know, it is a really good feeling. My feelings have been hurt by some that forgot me on mothers day, and some one else forgot my birthday that really has no excuse. but I can't control that. Family is something extra special and important to me....But I have to remember my values can not be imposed on everyone else's value system. That is very hurtful... this tough ole cop, tough as nails, can a soft side. And that is my family. Not too many things really can get to me... I can shut myself down very easily to activate a self defense mode. But tomorrow, I will feel loved, I will feel validated, I will feel special. I think two times in fifty years is not too much to ask for. I do not feel selfish by expecting this. I don't expect everyone else to understand it either. It just is what it is and it is me.....turning/celebrating 50 !!!!!
Thank you friends for making it such a special one for me!
Love to you all,

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Tough Week or Two

My past couple weeks....
I know, I usually post pictures and you will be very disappointed (maybe not) but this posting is not about pictures. Let me see if I can find just one so hang on will you.

Yes, this is about Zoe. You see she is getting grey around the edges, and I noticed a while back she was losing weight. So I feared the worst...boxer+age=cancer. Boxers are known for cancer in the later years of their lives and so I just knew this was the outcome. She started throwing up and not eating as good as usual so I feared the worst and took her to the vet. Why? I don't confirm it? I took her in to see the vet, a wonderfully compassionate vet. She is young, sweet, kind, cute, I just can't say anything bad about her, she is great. She took Zoe outside to do a urine sample, drew blood to test for about everything under the sun and called me Monday evening soon as she could with the results. Everything showed just fine. When we were in the office she listened to her heart and lungs, felt all around her body and was very convincing that there is no cancer. She said that since Zoe "feels" so good, playful,etc, she just did not feel there was any cancer. We put her on medicine and the next two weeks were....up and down. I thought things were getting better. But then I was finding "accidents" in the house. Looked like Zoe was having a bad chase of the runs if you know what I mean. I was frustrated at cleaning up the carpet, steam cleaning it every other day or so was starting to wear on me. But one night I decided to sleep in the living room with Zoe. To just be there when/if she got sick. She did. But instead of it being the runs, she was throwing up. Dark brown vomit...this can't be good. I call the vet again and get her right in. I cried. I cried all morning, I cried soon as I walked into the office and a sweet family says, "oh it's a boxer and she is soooo pretty", I started crying....I felt stupid....STUPID. This little boy came over and loved on her, petted her, the dad just petted her and kept saying to his young wife, "see, this is what I want, she is so pretty and calm, and just look at her, honey this is the kind of dog I want, why can't I have one of these?" I laughed inside thinking, this is the daddy not the three year saying all of this, what's wrong with THIS picture??? But the tears kept slipping out of my eyes and down my face. I couldn't stop them. I tried, I am not a big crier and I sure don't cry IN PUBLIC. That is something reserved for alone time, personal time, NEVER out in public and especially around kind people talking about my sweet girl. I finally was able to speak and quietly say to the kind family that my girl was sick and she is getting old. They said, well we hope all goes well and you have good news. I cried more. That is exactly what I was hopping for.

Finally the girl took us to a room, we had weighed Zoe and she had lost another six pounds in two weeks time. Before that she had lost 12/13 pounds in the past few months I am guessing. Hard to tell when you see the day in and day out. But my poor Zoe was now showing her backbone, and her muscle mass is gone. I know what is going to be said....I feel it in MY bones...I just feel it. This is the day that all my fears are going to be confirmed. The nurse (whom I don't know, have never seen before, just like the girl at the desk, I am guessing they have a new staff here for some odd reason and I don't like that!) She took Zoe and they did some X-rays, the doctor came back and once again...results are fine. I don't get this. I just don't get it. Her blood work is good, her x-rays are fine, what is going on?

I brought her home and we have an appointment with a specialist on Tuesday morning. But last night was TERRIBLE. I am sleeping in the living room with Zoe on her bed and the other dogs sleep in the living room with me. She got up several times in the night to go outside, probably to be sick. She is not eating ANYTHING at all and so I know this is not good. I can't stop crying. I am just not ready to give up my girl. Sunday morning she was in a daze...she looked terrible and just walked around the yard. She would dig at the fence and I feared she was trying to get out so she could go away to die. She is not old enough for this to be happening. She is not even 10 yet. She looked terrible, slobber hanging out of both sides of her mouth, her feet were wet and dirty, she is bone thin and has this sad sad look on her face. I bring her back in the house, cleaned her mouth, her feet and had her to lay down. I just laid beside her and gave her a massage. I rubbed her head, her neck, her back, shoulders and gently rubbed her tummy. she was relaxed and acted as if she liked it. She seemed as if she was resting. After a bit of running in and out with the other dogs I finally convinced her to get up on the sofa to rest a bit. She did. Scott came home and I had asked him to bring some Arby's sandwiches. The dogs love those sandwiches and Zoe acted as if she wanted one. So I gave her some really small pieces of meat and she ate it! We did this for a little bit and she went in to rest some more. After a couple hours she got up and Scott said she got sick out side. So now I don't know what to do. I just pray that she will make it till Tuesday so I can see if there is a SIMPLE solution to this issue or a confirmation to my greatest fears. Or if God sees it fit to take her home to just her pass in her sleep in the night. I will cry. I do that anyways.

I know this is NOTHING compared to what so many of you have gone through. I have not lost a parent, a sibling, or child, only my grandparents (you expect that) and then my dearest friend to cancer. That was hard! Very hard! Probably the hardest thing I have EVER been through in my life. Cathy was not suppose to die, she was young, and I was not ready to let her go either. I have a bad habit of withdrawing when I am in pain. This is no different. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to go anywhere, and I don't want to let go. I hate this part of life. I don't want this to happen. Why does it have to?

Zoe has been the best "dog" I have every had. Ten years ago I told Beth to go pick a dog out to take to college with her when she was going to go. She had said she was going to OU to study medicine and I wanted a big dog to go with her. Well she picked Zoe out and I fell in love with her. I sent Beth to school, UCO (University of Central Oklahoma in Edmond) not OU and she went WITHOUT Zoe. Zoe has brought me so much joy. I am not saying I would rather something happen to one of my kids, of course not, but I want to tell you this....not ONE time has Zoe ever asked for money, lied to me, got drunk, hurt me, betrayed me, wrote anything hateful, hurtful or a lie about me on facebook, she has never done anything to purposely make me mad and even when I am the most UNLOVABLE, she loves me. She is ALWAYS happy to see, loves it when I come home even if I was gone for only 30 minutes. She is funny, playful, loving, kind, loyal and the best thing that ever happened in my life. All I can do is tell her how much I LOVE her, and how much I appreciate all she has done for me in her life. How she has loved the grandkids, the DARE kids, the college students, the other guests in our home. How she has protected me from people who loved to see her play. I used to pick on my friend Mike and she would start flea biting ME. the only way to get her to stop was to tell her "cookie Zoe, cookie" and she would stop. It was so funny to see her get me instead of the person I was trying to "sic" her on. She would never hurt a flea, well, person. Her little nub still wiggles even though I know she doesn't feel good. She still puts her head in my hand and just lays there. She still looks at me with those eyes that say love is unconditional. They are not animals, SHE is my girl, my friend, my Momma Zoe. I am going to pray that she is going to be ok, I AM NOT READY TO LET HER GO.

Monday, April 26, 2010

This is for you Marge !

First there was this really cute couple...
Oh they loved each other so much.

And they were happy.

They fell in love.......

And soon this little guy came along.

He was loved by his mother....
He is loved by his father.....

And loved by everything around him in his life!!!

They are one cute happy family.

who couldn't love this cute little face?

And who doesn't get tired of all these pictures?
Is it REALLY necessary?

Ahhh, and finally THE END....


This is Cade, he is my little cousin.
I have been photographing him since
he was born. Now he is turning ONE...
He was all smiles until I got the camera
ready and we put the cake down.
But he is so stinkin' cute it doesn't matter
if he smiles or not.

No one was hurt in the photographing of this
special event. No staging was necessary,
this little guy DESTROYED this cake
all on his own.
I had to laugh!!!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Part of my Weekend

East Texas Archery
This weekend my son asked me to come watch
him and his wife during an archery tournament.
I didn't think I would be too excited, but I found it
to be a great experience. I met some of the nicest
people, never heard yes ma'am so much in my life.
You get there about 30-45 minutes early, sign in
and pay your money.....$15.00 per person I think.
This really does say "shooters sign up here"
but the "s" was often hidden by the curling of the sign...
You can guess the rest of that story.....caused a few good laughs.

Rules are explained by the Club President Kelly.

Super nice guy too!

Some arrows just waiting to be shot!
Walking off to the trails to shoot 3-D targets.

Can you get a feel for how big those trees are?
Oh I could sooo live right in the middle of all this.

Of course you must have restroom facilities.

Chase is TJ's new very good friend.
He works at Gander Mountain where TJ
spends a lot of his hard earned money!
Chase is an EXCELLENT shooter,
And a super fun guy to be around.

Next several shots are just different people.
There are women, men, kids, families, long bows,
hunting bows, tourney bows.....pretty bows
camouflaged bows, ugly bows, cheap bows, and EXPENSIVE
bows. This is one club that I think ANYONE
can be a part just have to make the time.
A lot of these people do NOT hunt, they just like the exercise and
being out of doors. All of them were extremely friendly.

Oh my gosh, this picture is pollen from the pine trees.
It is EVERYWHERE and nasty.

Checking and recording the scores of the team.
Bows with stabilizers sit on the side of the trial while
the other shooters take their shots.

Making a few clicks to adjust the sites for the next target.

Before the shot one checks for the distance to the target
and then after the shot one checks to see if they EVEN HIT IT!

This guy was messing with me....but honestly, it is
a long way down the ravine to check the score of your target.
Glad I was only shooting the camera! I stayed up on the trail.
Women shooters!



FIVE YEARS OLD.....I am NOT kidding.

Some bring along a chair to use for resting while
marking their scores and waiting on the others
to shoot. There is usually about five members
per team.

Long bow

Sometimes help is needed and some people get frustrated.
she is a good shooter, just got a new bow and was upset.....
she will get it, it just takes time getting used to a new product.
Boy can I relate to that!!!!

This little guy was using the range finder to judge the distance.
While stylin' with his Mohawk!

He is a cutie!

Amanda getting ready to shoot at target no. 2.

She has some pretty good form going there!

TJ checking his mark.
and yes it was hot out there.
Just wait till July and August!

This is Tj's other new and good friend Scott.
He too is an EXCELLANT SHOOTER....Just like Chase

And he is a cutie too.

By the way....his dad was an L.A.P.D. officer
for 37 years.
I knew I liked this kid ....
yes, he too wants to become a cop.
And THIS is his wife......isn't she just a doll???

She teaches and coaches.......softball!!!!

So cute and so sweet.
These are just really good people.


Then we went and ate Mexican food....oh yes, it was a
wonderful weekend!