Friday, September 3, 2010

Introduction to Todd

New Houseguest...
Well we are starting to settle in with our new house guest. Todd is really a great kid and we are so happy that our lives are enriched by his presense. Everyone is so nice to say how lucky Todd is to be in our home...and although I do appreciate those comments, I want to tell you how blessed WE ARE to have him. My life was good before, but now I feel so, so, so needed? So full of love? So happy, I don't know what words to use but I do like the feeling. Yes it is stressful, I can not deny that, yesterday was a VERY hard day. I have spent more time on the phone than I have in ages. I have had a horrible headache, and I am tired. But I have something I am working towards, I have a goal, a mission, a job. I have had my eyes opened as to how "other" people get treated at school when you are not known and helped and liked. Wow, what an eye opening experience to be a part of the real world. In Enid I never dealt with these types of problems that I have with Todd. The school we enrolled in him was not in our district..had to get a transfer. Ok, we did. Toured the school, got his school supplies, bus route figured out, clothes bought, let him skip the first day (sorry) to go dove hunting with all my family (men folk!). We got a phone call that he was not able to attend school there for he was in fact in the 9th grade not 8th. Now we have to send him to a totally different school. Was advised to NOT attend the large school that is closest to us. Many many issues with it. And not the best enviroment for Todd. So we went to the little country school about 10 miles away. They fought me on wanting to go there. We have the right to go where ever we want and they can not refuse she tried on the card that I am not his legal guardian. Oh yes I am. But she says no for the papers are not signed by a judge. I explained we are not taking his mothers rights away from her, he is living with us till she is able to take care of him (ie, get out of jail). She fought me more and I had to beg and plead. NEVER have I been made to feel so bad about a child needing to go to school. She told me she (the school) has a reputation for high academics. Todd will not achieve those same high levels. The boy has not attened school regularly for the past three years. Texas passed him due to his age not ability. I talked to them too. They were hateful. Asked me if I expected them to give Todd a permanent parking space, how many times did I expect them to retain him. I had some snappy comeback, don't remember what it was, but I was truly offended that a COUNSELOR would speak of a child in that manner and especially to a stranger. She made some comment when I told her I was the person who has taken Todd into my home and I asked her what "I" could do to help him. She said something this and that, and then said "well God bless you", it was meant to be sarcastic, and I replied "thank you, He certainly already has!"

Ok, I put this post on hold and now I have lots more to talk about. I should learn to write more often and smaller postings, but just does not seem to work that way with me.

Well we got him into school and he had a pretty good first day....however I cried like a baby. I felt so bad taking him to a school that just was not "friendly" towards him, but he seemed to have a good day. We took him out to eat at Freddies, a famous steak house in Sapulpa and my parents came, my daughter and her boyfriend came and then even my cousin and her husband came. We had a nice visit, and hopefully made Todd feel really good about himself. The next day was Friday and seemed to be a pretty good day as well. So I was told. Until he got into the last two periods of the day. A girl (new friend) told him a guy wanted to fight him. Over her. He is some ex kind of friend so she says. The boy and his "friends" were waiting for Todd after class. Todd went to the office and requested to speak to the counselor. One of the boys was in the office with him and the secretary kept asking him why he "needed" to talk to the counselor, but the boy was standing right behind Todd. He just told her he needed to talk to her. Finally she went and got a different principal than the one we had trouble with while enrolling him, and said right out loud, "I don't know why he needs to see the counselor, he won't tell me". S o she took him into the office and Todd told her there was going to be an altercation and he wanted to avoid it. She asked him who it was and Todd said he didn't know the boy. She said, you go to school here and you don't know who is threatening you? He said, this is only my second day of school here. She then asked him why he had a pencil in his hand, was he going to stab the kid? He told her no.Now if all this conversation really took place...I AM OFFENDED. But we will see. T oday is a new day.

I have been taking pictures of Todd, partly because I want to, and partly because HE wants me to. It has been fun, I enjoy it, and he seems to enjoy it too. He has enjoyed his new clothes, lays them out on the bed and matches them with this and that just to see how they look. He says he is a girl when it come to his clothes, I think it is that he hasn't had new clothes and he like lookin' good. I am hoping that he fabricates a lot. If he is telling me the truth about half of the things he says, then he has had LOTS of money in his life....I just don't believe it, he has NOTHING to show for it, so I don't believe it. No bling, no fancy cars, no money of any kind I just don't think he is telling the full truth about his whole past. I think it sounds good in Texas, with other people, but it does not sound all that to me. He will have to learn a new past, new stories to tell, new things to be proud of.


claudia said...

You are a crazy good woman taking Todd into your home like this. What a challenge it is going to be. I'm thinking Todd is going to be a good young man and all, but all the forces trying to be against him are your challenges. It sounds like he does have his head on straight, going to the counselor to avoid an altercation. Good for him! Good for you!

Marge said...

What a handsome young man! And what a blessing you two are to each other. I hope Todd can remember that the counselor is his friend, and that when the going gets tough, that is where he needs to be going, even if they don't act very friendly towards him. If he doesn't give in and fight with these kids, he will eventually impress the counselor. I hope.

What a tough road these kids have been given through no fault of their own. The sad thing is, the parents probably had the same thing handed to them, so they know no other way to live. And history repeats unless there is some kind of intervention. And you and Scott may be the intervention that breaks the cycle.

Hope all is going well. I think of you often as you are in my thoughts, in my prayers, and in my heart.

Love ya, Marge

Memaw's memories said...

You have my total admiration. I hope and pray everything works out the way you want it to.

Blessings on you, Todd and the rest of the family.

Mental P Mama said...

Hugs and love to you all.