What Do You Choose?

Door Number One? Or Door Number Two?

I just got through reading one of my favorite blogs, "We are THAT family", and as a lot of blogs are intended, it got me thinking. Why is it that we feel it necessary to blog? Why do we tell perfect strangers our life business, our stories, our feelings? Do we need attention that badly that we do it? Why am I sitting here spending time on a COMPUTER when I want and need affirmation from another human being??? Strange isn't it. I have not met you, don't know you, may never meet you, don't know your family, or even your life habits/choices. So why is it so important to get words from a complete stranger left to me on an inanimate object? We are weird creatures. But what we do in bloggy world, is it how we live our life in the real world? That is why I titled my post the way I did. Do I live like the life behind door number 1 or do I choose door number 2. Everything we do in life is a choice. Everything. Will you get dressed this morning, eat breakfast, go to church, or stay in your jammies, drink a cup of coffee and play on the computer? What choices will YOU make in life? In my whole 48 years of being on this earth I have always been the person that feels I need to make good choices. I NEVER choose to do things wrong, of course I do, but I don't want or mean to. I feel badly when I do, and sometimes I am really hard on myself when I do. I try very hard to never break the speed limit. Do you know how hard that is? I am not always successful at that either. In fact my parents accuse me of speeding all the time. That kills me. That hurts my feelings and my spirit. I do NOT choose to break the law and for them to say that bothers me. Yet my dad drives 5 to 10 miles an hour BELOW the speed limit and I fear he will some day be killed by someone running over the back of them. Happened just last week here in Tulsa where a drunk driver rear ended a car killing husband and wife coming back from square dancing. She was in her 80's and he in his 70's out at about 11:00 p.m., killed, together by a 20 something drunk young man. This was a couple who had been friends of the family for probably about 30 years or so. Sad day, very sad day.

But my point in this post, my thoughts are, why can't people just choose to do what is right? Why is that so hard? Why is it that some people are wired to do wrong things? Why WHY do some people choose to do drugs? I just don't get it. Life is hard, life is truly hard enough on a good day why would someone purposely choose to put a substance into their body that is going to change it from then on? Why? And you know it is going to change you, people are NOT that stupid to think it will do nothing, they are taking it to get a change in their life or they would not do it.

Why do we do the things we do? Why do we get hateful on the phone with sales people or customer service? Why can we not just say thank you but no thank you. Be firm, tell them thank you for doing your job, I am not interested, please do not call me again, take me off your list, have a great day and good bye? I hate those calls, I really do. I am very annoyed, but I feel that they as human beings having one of the most horrible jobs in the world, deserve to be treated with some degree of respect. Now when they get rude with me, I simply say thank you, I said no, have a nice day, goodbye, and then I hang up the phone. Yet when my husband gets rude with me, do I treat him the same way? No I get mad, act ugly towards him, may not speak to him for a while, or might even speak to him more than he would like, in a voice loud enough for him and the neighborhood to hear every single word.....not a pretty picture is it? Sometimes if I get really mad can you believe I might even say a word that I would have been FURIOUS if my kid or anyone would have said it to me. WHY? Why do I do that? I worked at the police department for nearly 22 years. 97 % of those people never heard me say a cuss word. I don't say "ass, butt, pissed, shit, hell or damn" And you would NEVER hear me say the "F" word. I never called anyone a "B" "C" "N" or Whore. I am not even comfortable typing those words in this blog. It is offensive to my heart. I still don't use those words to this very day. But if I get mad at my husband I am not proud of what words I might say. I just don't get it. Why can people that mean so very little to me, ie, work and public, get treated better than my husband or even my kids. Yes I have even cussed in front of my kids when I lost it. WHY? Why would I do that? I am just thinking out loud here, sorry about that.

There is no point to this post, I am just writing my thoughts about why people do the things they do. I just don't understand why we get mad so easily at others, why we feel our feelings are more important than someone else, why we don't care how we impact another person's life. Why? Why did that lady create a MySpace page and treat a young girl so badly that the girl ended up killing herself? Why would a grown up do that? I hope she does go to jail to realize that EVERY choice we make does NOT just affect us. It has a lasting impression on so many. And we may never know how we have truly influenced someone. I don't know. I am going to continue with my life trying to always make the right choice, to TRY to never hurt someone or their feelings, to try and be good to the best of my ability, and when this life is over, just know that I did the best that I could do. Maybe I will sleep a little better, maybe I will get a little piece of heaven in the after life, and maybe, just maybe, I will get the affirmation I always crave, Lisa, you were a good person, you did a good job, and I LOVE YOU. hum, I don't know maybe.