Tuesday, April 1, 2008

April Fools Day

But it wasn't April 1st.

Have you known some people who are always playing jokes? I had a doctor in Enid that loved to play jokes. I enjoyed hearing the stories of the jokes he would play on his kids. Now my husband likes to play jokes that I do not think are funny at all. For such a sweet man, he can sure get on my nerves at times. He is a typical last born!!! ( I am the middle child so now you understand that previous comment huh?!) One time he paid kids to push me into the swimming pool at a social gathering at our house. This was with my co-workers and their families. Everyone thought it was funny that I got pushed in by a young boy. I was beyond humiliated, I am not a small person, very self conscious of my body, and now I have wet, skin tight jeans and a wet shirt in front of people that I work with. I went to the bedroom to change my clothes, sat in the bathroom and CRIED for a long time. After the party I informed my husband if he ever did something like that to me again, or anyone else, that pool would become the most expensive sandbox in Enid America. I was beyond furious.

I am a very serious person, a very moral and honest person. But I do have a sense of humor. And I tend to laugh at myself more than at others. I do enough stupid stuff that I don't need to laugh at anyone else. And I can tell you, some of the biggest jokesters are police officers. Back in the early days they used to play lots and lots of jokes. I heard stories of guys going in the bathroom and someone lighting a pop bottle rocket and throwing it under the door into that little room. Can you imagine the noise and MESS that was made by uncontrolled water sprinkler (get it???) I heard they would send them on calls and then shoot roman candles at them, you know, childish things like that. So I told my training officer, please don't do stuff like that to me. He being a good friend of mine ASSURED me that he would not let them do anything to me and if they were planning anything he would let me know so we could "play along" with it. So I was feeling pretty good, getting close to the end of my training time period, all was well, I was going to make it.

One night Bobby and I were sitting in the car just talking when my "brother" Tommy (other rookie, remember we joined at the same time---see prior postings) and his training officer showed up to talk to us too. It was in the late evening and dark, so often when we weren't on calls we would sit to talk. No big deal, plan when we were going to go eat, and where. You know, just general chit-chat. Then a hot call came in, two men were fighting at such and such address were any units in the area to respond. Well...we were and we were two, two man units. We could handle the call. Tommy was in the lead and was headed right for the fight. I got there just in time to see something being thrown into the commercial dumpster, a guy IN A SUIT, straighten his tie, and walk over to Tommy and say something, my training officer tells me to stay in the car in a very stern voice as he gets out to go speak with "Det. Sgt. R. West". He gets back into the car a few minutes after a very intense conversation and yells at me to get out of here NOW. I said, what's going on, he yells at me and Bobby never yelled at me, get the ----(heck?) out of here right now like I said. So man I take off and just go. I don't know where to go, or what to do, Bobby is sitting over there in the passenger seat, just shaking his head and mumbling under his breath. I just look at him. After a couple minutes, I ask him, Bobby, whats going on? Who was Randy fighting with, what's going on? Bobby what's going on, tell me. Well, Bobby says, Rick and Randy (yes, they are twin brothers both working at the dept.) was fighting with some man, and they beat the crap out of him. Was that him they threw in the dumpster? I saw what I thought was a body being thrown in there but I wasn't sure. Yes he said, he is probably dead. Well aren't we going to go back and check, go back and help the guy? We can't Lisa, just forgot you saw anything. Bobby, I can't do that, we have to go help him. We can't do that. But Bobby, what if he dies? Bobby asks me, well who do you think will investigate it? The detec.....oh my gosh, them! They are the detectives. Yes, they were involved in the Singer murder case you know. And do you know why it was never solved? No, I tell him. Well because they are gay too. It will never be solved. Oh my gosh, you have got to be kidding me. Bobby, we have to go back and get that guy. Are you sure you want to do that? Yes, we have to. Ok, lets go back. So we go back and check, there is no body in the dumpster! I can't believe this, what do you think has happened? Bobby tells me he doesn't know, he has no idea. Then I hear another call come out.

Over the radio we all here the transmission. "A supervisor is needed at St. Mary's hospital in reference to a battery victim." But Bobby that is our zone, why didn't we get the call? We go to a pay phone and call headquarters. Bobby talks to the dispatcher to find out whats going on and then gets back into the car. He tells me a citizen found this guy all beat up and took him to the hospital. The victim tells the hospital that the police beat him up. That's why they can't send us on the call. They have to have a supervisor until I A can take it. You know, Internal Affairs. Great. We are working the night shift, and I'm afraid this is going to be a very long night. The supervisor is there for a very long time. Sgt. Blakely, and he's a good man. I trust him to do his job and to do it right. He won't put up with any nonsense. I don't care who did what he will do what he has to do. I look at Bobby, and ask him, everything is going to be ok isn't Bobby? Sure he tells me, everything is going to be fine.

I was right, it was a long night. About 2:00 a.m. I hear Tommy get called to the station to see the Capt. now. Tommy and his training officer go to the station. I hear Tommy report they are 10-6, 302. Meaning they are busy at the station with the supervisor. It has to be recorded why they are there and for how long. What do you think Bobby, is it about the fight? Bobby tells me he has no idea. About 2:30 we get our call. Headquarter to 599. Go to 599. You need to 71 the station and see the Capt. Ok, our turn. Bobby goes in first. I am in the report room, just waiting my turn. Tommy is in there and he is white as a sheet. I ask him what's going on. He tells me they wanted to know what he saw at the fight. I asked him did he tell them and he said yes. I remember Tommy telling me that he was not going to lose his job for Randy West. Or anybody for that matter. I tell him, I agree with that for sure. I hear Bobby yelling with the Capt and that's not like him or the Capt. Doors slam and I see Bobby storming down the hall away from me. I hear my name being called, and I am told to come to the office. As I walk into the office, the Capt in a soft and kinder voice ask me to come in and shut the door. I see Sgt. Blakely standing there too, he is behind the desk with the Capt with a notebook. Have a seat I am told, I do. Capt asks me if I went on a call in reference to a fight. I tell him yes. He asks me who else was there. Uh, Tommy, Bobby, (I can't remember who Tommy's training officer was). Anyone else? Well, I did see Sgt. West and detective West. Well, what did you see when you got there? I tell them, I didn't really see anything for sure. I see them slamming the lid to the trash dumpster down and while I am there spilling my guts the door busts open and in comes some guys dragging another guy in with his hands handcuffed behind his back. They throw him on the ground, just drop him there, but wait, he isn't moving. And he has this dumb look on his face, kind of like mine at that very moment. It is Rugged Ron from the fire department. The dummy they use to train firemen in carrying people in a rescue. Why is he handcuffed, what's going on here? And everyone starts laughing. This is the guy that Rick and Randy were beating up. This is the guy they threw in the dumpster. This is the same guy that "went to the hospital because he was beat up by the police". Oh funny guys, real funny. I have been sick all night long, thought I was going to lose my job or my life if I told on the West brothers. Funny. Everyone thought it was too. Yucka yucka yucka, real funny..... excuse me while I go puke! they say it was one of the best pranks they have ever done. We were named The Singing Canaries.

ps. I got even. I stuck around that place for the next 22 years and caused them grief till the day I left. A royal pain in the backside!!!! Sgt. Blakely left to become an attorney in OKC, Capt retired and is very ill, Sgt. Randy West went on to make Capt and has since retired, and det. Rick West is now the chief, with ulcers. Serves him right!!!!


Debbie in NC said...

ROFLMBO! Oh gosh, I would have lived just just to get them back. It would have consumed me! Poor Lisa, they got you GOOD!

It was the same in the military. Great stress relief!

I have not accomplished one darn thing today and it's 9:35. I was up at 5! Darn blogs...I love them!

:) Hey, hit that garage and throw one thing away today :)

Jessica said...

Oh my goodness. Talk about April Fool.

Nice to meet a fellow Okie.

We are THAT Family said...

Oh, wow. You poor thing! Just the pool incident would have sent me to marriage counseling! Glad you got them back.

Shirley said...

That was some joke. They had to have been working on it for a while.

I'd have killed them all or tazed them or sprayed them with pepper spray. Something!!!