Friday, October 24, 2008

Friday's Funnies

Can't get the picture to come up...oh well, here is my Friday Funny even though I am not in a good mood today, this does make me smile!!
Join Kim at Homesteaders Heart to see more funnies.

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.'Man, that guy is stupid,' I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.Of these,
16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That me ans that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life,
thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide,
has PMS, and is armed.
Give her the finger?
I don't think so.


Denise said...


Just Joni said...

ha ha...I thought this was pretty I'm wondering if people ever look at me on the freeway and wonder if I might be THAT lady! Thanks for the giggle...does this mean you are out of your funk?

Happy days sweet friend ~

SophieMae said...

LOL! That cracked me up! So there's one man out there with some sense? ;)

Homesteader in Training said...

Oh that is hilarious my friend and probably true lol. Thanks for linking up and remembering lol.
I hope you are able to be in a better mood.
Hugs from me!

Debbie said...

AND why are you not in a good mood? I almost followed a looney driver yesterday to give him a piece of my mind. Mind changed and I realized he could kill me on the spot.

Road rage in check here.

I'll be glad when election is over so I can unaddict myself.

All is well :)


Putz said...

i am so glad i have no where to wife loves to drive, so i say let her 400 miles just to deliver a package that she could let the postal service handle....and some of the driving in salt lake city horrible traffic...she has already had 3 accidents and my son eighrt accidents, yet they won't stay home with me

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...