Friday, October 10, 2008

Friday Funnies

I love humor, and I love that Kim at Homesteaders Heart does the Friday Funnies.
So go over and check out her jokes/funny story, her links and read their funnies. What a
great way to end the week, tickle your funny bone and have a laugh.
If you really want a good laugh, turn the volume up
and listen to my Friday Funnies Theme Song
(just for Kim)!

Blond Jokes:


Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking,

and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'

The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'


CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'


SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely

if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today

you expect me to show it to you!'


RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk.

She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank

'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,

'You ARE on the other side.'


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and

said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,

then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.

She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?

'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'


KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde

behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,

the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,

'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'


BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night..

It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,

can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,

and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that

one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs




I have to give Tina credit once again for emailing me these jokes. I thought there were cute, and especially since she is a blond. Thank you dear friend!
Happy birthday do my brother Mike
and my friend who has passed on due to breast cancer....Cathy O. I miss you still dear friend, Happy Birthday.
Yesterday my daughter's friend and her husband had twin girls....born 10-9-08....I think they should be called the count down twins...get it....?????10-9-8 ect...ok, I will stick to emailed jokes! But they are beautiful and every one is doing well. I will ask if I can post pictures of them someday, they are soooo cute.

8 comments:

Sage said...

OH, you are too funny today! I loved your blond jokes, espeially the first and last ones. OH, and the going to the sun one too!

Hope you have a good weekend. Are you doing anything speial? Our daughter is running a camp this weekend for families with kids that have FASD. We're going out to have dinner with them tonight, and then stay for the "show", a juggler that the kids will love. Should be a lot of fun.

Sage said...

Oh, I see at least two words with missing letters......espeially needs a "C" and speial also needs a "C". Now that key doesn't work either! GRRRRRRRR!

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

Great blonde jokes! Too funny!

Tonjia said...

LOLOL I love these jokes!! thanks for the giggle today Lisa.

Mental P Mama said...

lol countdown twins. I love the jokes.

claudia said...

I espwcially liked the joke about the blondes on the sides of the river...made me laugh so loud, my daughter had to give me a funny look from the kitchen.
Thanks for giving me a great cheer up!

Homesteader in Training said...

Oh those where a hoot! I love the first one about which is closer Florida or the moon lol. Your poem was great too. Oh and hey, better late then never with the link up lol.
Blessings to you!

Debra said...

Ok, those were funny! Hellllooo...can you see Florida?
Blessings to you this evening!