Friday, February 6, 2009

Friday Funnies

We all need a good laugh here and again. So every Friday Kim at Homesteader Heart has a day full of funnies. If you want more than what I can provide go check her out and see what every one is laughing about today with her!

The Black Bra
The other day I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra & bodice,stiletto heels and a mask over just our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went:

My engaged friend: The other night my boyfriend came over and found me wearing a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said... "What's for dinner, Batman?"

And would you like one more because I am full of them???

I am in the middle of painting my bathroom and trying to get some things done around my house. When I read this joke it made me think of me!!! Except I am NOT blonde, but it is still funny.

THE BLONDE PAINTER
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.

He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is okay. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it, by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replied that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said..

'FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS'



ps,ok maybe I AM blonde, for my spell check says there is no "e" on the end of the blond (E). I thought there was so I am leaving it.....is the computer right???? or am I just a really poor speller?

9 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

I like to use the e for femle blondes, and the non-e for male blonds. Whadaya think of that theory?

Now I'm off to find my leather bustier.

Grammy said...

The first one the hubby would be in big trouble.
The 2nd one was funny. Have a great weekend.

Grammy said...

Hi! Thanks for stopping by. Most things are my work but the bacon was a photo bucket find. I never even thought of it being cop related. lol. I am so glad you found it funny. lol. Good to meet you. Grammy

Tonjia said...

you are right, blonde has an e at the end!

The jokes are hysterical! I especially loved the first one. thanks for the laugh.

so sorry to hear about the deer at your house, poor thing. I am like you and worry about them.

Reddirt Woman said...

I learned blonde was correct when I was in school... Of course that was when we spelled tomatoe and potatoe. I didn't think Dan Quayle was dumb at all for waiting for the 'e'.

Batman... snort, chuckle.

Helen

Just Joni said...

Thanks for the giggle...these were both cute little jokes and the batman imagery is just stuck in my mind now....oh, and thanks for feeding the fish...they never get enough to eat! Have a good weekend ~

Reddirt Woman said...

Lisa, I've got an award for you over at my place... Come on by.

Helen

bernthis said...

Okay, I just laughed so hard at the Batman line.

Reddirt Woman said...

Hey Lisa... when you come to shoot my girls, we should have jonquils for sure, and red tulips. Don't know the daylilies will be started yet, but if the weather is warm we will sure behaving some close to blooming out if not already out.

I can hardly wait.

Helen