Friday Funnies

News before the Friday Funnies

you can skip the posting and go right to the bottom for my joke!

I am FINISHED...well sort of

I have been busy this week doing what I really don't know. But it seems I have been doing something all week long. I am really trying to get things organized and start doing more or my photography. I would like to try and make a little money with this hobby I have. And I love people and being a part of their special events. And I have been trying to catch up on a few shows that I have recorded.

I have finished up on the Christmas shopping except for my daughters big gift and since she doesn't read my blog I can tell you I will probably give her money. She is 24, my baby, and the only one not married. I set a limit as to how much I spend on each family and since she doesn't have a family she gets more spent on her alone. She kind of likes this theory. It might prevent her from getting married I fear!!!

(Just kidding Beth, in case you DO read this one!)

Do you know the old saying...the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys? Well I feel the same way about my kids. Ouch! My daughters gift ideas get expensive....like window tinting, auto start on her car (that was my idea actually)and this game system that cost $400 stinking dollars!!! I don't remember what it is called, PlayStation 3, or something, but it plays Blue ray and she doesn't have cable etc so she wants to watch movies on Blue ray. Well have you seen how expensive those disk are? So I don't think that will be on my list to get her. I am still buying DVDs for now. But honestly, I am very proud of myself for my shopping this year. I LOVE getting gifts for everyone. I am a giver, that is my heart, so I love Christmas. But since I am now retired and NO money coming in at all other than the little retirement check, I had to set a budget for Christmas. And I have stuck to it. I could so go overboard for the grand kids. I would really like to, but I also believe that presents should include presence and that is my goal for the whole year. To be available to the grand kids all year. To make their time with us very special. It will be gone all to soon. I am missing them badly right now. I need a weekend with those sweet little ones. That is a gift to me ...to spend time with the family.

Now having said all of this..I still don't have a Christmas tree up. Why? It is in the attic and I can't get it down. I have asked for it several times, but ???? Hint hint hint. This weekend I won't be home to put it up for I am traveling to go do a photo shoot with a family with a new three month old baby ( and two siblings). Then I am going to baby sit the family while they go to a Christmas party. It is my daughters party with several of her friends. So we will see what all I get done after that! I am hoping to do another shoot on Sunday of two kids and two dogs. But that has not been nailed down yet!

So that is what my life is this past week. I have not been on the computer as much as I usually do, and I have not really wanted to blog this week. I have spent the day with my mom and we went shopping and out to lunch ( Oh I love those days!) and then shopping with my husband yesterday, and just STUFF. Oh we had lunch with my aunt and uncle and my other aunt and uncle then played dominoes in the afternoon. That was A BLAST!!! Today we need to hit the grocery store for we are in store for another "ICE STORM" next week. It appears that the Tulsa area is predicted to have freezing rain and they are watching it close for it was only one year ago we had the horrible ice storm where people were with out electricity for days, and some even weeks. So I plan to get every thing done this week and not have to do anything next week. Might be a good time to put the tree up and just decorate and stay in front of the fireplace. Sounds like a plan to me. AND, I have not done any Christmas cards. That just may not happen this year. For now I am watching the squirrels play outside my window, the birds need to be fed, they are eating me out of house and home!. Plus I want things done to my house like repaint bedrooms, new carpet, and remodel the kitchen. Well that will be on my to do list for after Christmas! For now, I need to go get stuff done.

Here is my friday funny, be sure and visit Kim at Homesteaders Heart for a good laugh..

Dad At The Mall

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors:green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response….
'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

Third Post Today --Kind of Gross! Sorry

The Story of Click and Bang!

Our son in law came over to deer hunt early this morning.

And I do mean early.

So they get to my parents house, head out to the tree stands.

Chris is loading his gun and says he really can't see the bullet,

it feels kind of light but he loads the gun anyways. He is up in this

tree when this little buck comes walking through.

Chris has already told Scott that he was shooting a buck no matter

how big it was, he had to shoot something today before going home!

So typical man!

So as this buck is coming through the clearing, Chris just has to raise the gun

and pull the trigger. So he does. All he hears is "click". No gun fire.

So he tried it one more time.....click.

He reaches into his pocket pulled out another bullet and combat loads his rifle.

By now the buck is walking past so Chris has to lean out on the tree stand,

the deer hears him and raises his head, turns slightly towards him and

BANG!

The story goes that when Scott sighted in Chris' gun the other day

he kept the empty shells and put them back in the box. So when Chris

went to load his gun today he grabbed the four bullets on the end of the box.

It was the same four bullets Scott had used already. But Chris

had pulled one more bullet out of the box of shells and it was a good one.

That was the bullet that he used to kill the deer.

We have laughed at the story that Chris tells of his

father in law sabotaging his deer hunt for he shot and killed

the deer that Scott had tried to get.

This was Chris' second time to go out deer hunting

and his first buck to shoot. He was very excited.

Again, it is probably not something most of you want to read.

But I have grown up with hunting and see the importance of deer hunting.

I won't go into all the reasons why it is necessary, but I will say,

Way to go Chris, you killed Bambi!

The two guys and two bullets, Bang and Click.

Guess who is holding which ones!
Chris with his deer, his gun and HIS bullet!

Ok, it is just a little six point, but it is his first and he is very proud.

Way to go Chris, happy hunting and we are glad to be a part of it!

See you again soon....I think you can now go for the doe!

This is my third post tonight. Please make sure you see my other GOOD pictures!

No offense Chris.

Second Posting from This Weekend!

This was a Tall Order to Achieve!

No kidding.

This family starts with dad at 6'7

then two sons at 6'5 and

the "little woman" 5'4

son who is 12

and a

10 year old

daughter.

I love this picture of 2nd oldest with his parents.

Each child had a picture taken with their parents.

I just think in years to come those will be very special.

And when they found the leaves, oh this was fun.



Thank goodness this was done at the end.





But it did make for some cute pictures!

This young man is a Sr. and wants me to take his Sr. Pictures this spring!

Oh yes, I would love that.

And he already has a ton of ideas.

I like it when they know what they want!!!

Youngest son was fun too.

2nd Oldest is very handsome and just poses naturally!

Look at how long he is!

This is a new trick I learned so I had to try it out!

I love it!!

Can't wait to try it on the grand kids!!!

The kids indoors were so willing to do anything I asked.

And I could not believe that I got the whole family on that little background.

But I really like the picture out doors,

They are just such a happy family.

I hope they will like their pictures!

This is a very special couple.

Brother Todd feeds anywhere from 40-70 homeless people in Tulsa

three days a week. He then ministers to them and worships with them

and will help them with any issues they have.

He helps them to find jobs, find family, find God, and does it

all on donations. He does not accept

government help because of all the red tape.

He has a "thrift store" and donations

from other churches and does great works from what I hear.

Not only does he feed the belly, the soul, and the spirit,

he will clothe them, give them money and all the help

he can. I think that is pretty cool.

My Weekend Has Been BUSY!

Just a Twinkle in Your Daddy's eye!

And then THIS happened!

She is due in just two more weeks! Well sort of!
A beautiful family of three...soon to be four!

And yes, it is another little girl!

Daddy is so handsome and loves mommy!

And he loves his girls.

Isn't she just so cute?

I fell in love with her right away!

This man is so shy he just didn't hardly say a word around me!

Do you see the little hands in the picture above?

She just could not stand to be far away from daddy!

Of course she loves her momma too!

and baby sister.

Here while daddy was doing the "heart" pose,

look who ran around behind and grabbed her daddy!

And I LOVED this picture. Again, mom and dad were

going to put their hand on the belly, and little

sister came up and put her hand on theirs.

I just thought that was so sweet....

This familiy drove over two hours to come to Tulsa and let

me take their pictures. It was to be a maternity

shoot, plus they could not get anyone to get any good pictures

of their daughter. She is VERY shy and just won't

let others take her pictures. But at my house

with her parents right there, and of course toys

to play with, she warmed up to me a little.

I had about 120 shots of the family that
I think they were very pleased with.

This was a lot of fun for me.

You know me,

I love

new

things!

Friday Funnies

Today is Friday for those of you that days have meaning.

I am one of those that do not work because

(say it with me...) "I am retired you know"!

So with this being a day of importance to so many it is time to link

up with Kim at Homesteaders Heart and share the laughter!

Happy Weekend to All.

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have very little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. (OH YES WE DO!)

Now here is my second one and this is for those of us that need to exercise but just do not want to join a gym. This is the PERFECT way to exercise at home!

EXERCISE FOR US MORE MATURE PEOPLE

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand while hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level!)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

My Final Project

Photo Essay

"Animal Faces"

Chloe

Mr. Squirrel

Mr. Goat

Do you know what this is???

The Cat at the Vet's Office

Another goat I found while driving around in the country yesterday!

Callie

Buddy

Great Dane and Calf

Pot Belly Pig

The cutest donkey in the world.

I got an "A".....

Well at least I got a complement from the teacher!

Tonight was my last class of my photography "certificate" program.

I have really enjoyed taking the classes and plan on taking

more next year to continue my education.

Now I am suppose to be given a piece of paper

to add to my portfolio. Yahoo!!