My New Thing To Do

2012-01-19T20:24:00.001-06:00

Here's Jackson !!

This little guy was born on November 14, 2011 coming in at 7 lbs 4 ozs. And 19 inches long. He is perfect. I am typing this on a laptop that I got for Scott and I don't have any of my other pictures of him on this one. So this is what you are going to get. MOST OF YOU have already seen him on facebook, but since I have not written in a long time I thought Marge might like to know I am alive and doing good !!!!!

I am going to keep this little rascal for Beth while she works. She went back to work at five weeks, working a three day week, then the next two weeks were four day weeks before going back full time after Christmas or New Years, I can't remember....She works for s really great lady who lets her take Jackson to work with her. But she has decided it is just too hard to get anything done at work with the baby there. She misses him, but has let me keep him two days this week and will do so again tomorrow. He is really a good baby, easy keeper, and such a happy baby.

Today he got his two months shots. I have not seen him so I don't know how he is doing. She took him to work and then to the doctors office. But since I last talked to every one, we bought the house next door for Beth, Jackson and (?) Matt to live. But Matt has since decided at this time he is going to stay at his mom's house. They have a few things to work on before he will be living there again. He is a really nice guy, he just has some things he needs to take care of before he will be mature and responsible enough to be a good dad and mate. But I trust that God is in control and hope that my daughter will not only use her heart but her head as well. She has more to take care of than just herself. She is a GREAT mother. I am really proud of her. She is nervous...remember those days? I do!!!! But she is very attentive, very loving, and very proud of her son.

They lived with us a week before Jackson was born for we had not closed on the house next door. In fact, we were suppose to close like Nov. 10th, it didn't happen....Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are HORRIBLE to deal with. I will NEVER buy a foreclosure house again. NEVER.....but we finally got it, and it is going to be a nice house. I am very proud of it and with time (and money) it will be a very nice home, one in which Jackson can grow up in if his momma wants.

This is gong to be a short one, but I wanted to get some news out there and let Marge know I am alive. In fact, I am doing pretty darn good. More to come later about the other grand kids and the rest of my life happenings....
Talk to you soon girls,
Lisa

Latest News

2011-11-04T23:37:00.001-05:00

Ok, lets see...three months ago I posted right after we lost our precious Callie. It was a rather depressing post so I will try to have this one much lighter. And really I am doing much better, it has taken time, but I am going to be ok. Can not believe the loss of a dog can hit one so hard, but let me tell you, it did. I am still where I cry at certain times for no reason, but the times are getting fewer and farther in between.

We have gotten another dog, not because I wanted one, but our poor Rudy was as depressed and I was. He would not get off the sofa to even greet me at the door. Completely out of his character. So we found a 14 month old female (on Craigs list) and after looking at her Scott fell in love right away. I did not. But we took her home (hour and ahalf drive). I did not like her, I cried ALL the time, and I wanted to send her back. Just way too soon. Rudy did not like her either. He was nice, and he put up with her, but he did not want to play. All she wanted to do WAS play. For a boxer, she is very calm, oh my goodness, could not believe that. And she is VERY loving. She reminded me a lot of Callie. Loving, kind, always wanting to touch you. It was just more than I could take. I took her to the vet to ensure she was healthy and after about $150.00 bill she was good to go. The owners had said she was up to date on her shots... she wasn't. But she is now! So after a battle with the previous owners and the not being truthful with me, we decided to keep her. And I fell in love. Abby is one of the sweetest dogs I have ever met. Boxers are wonderful dogs, great with family, loving, funny, guard dogs, and the list goes on. Abby is just wonderful. Callie was very dominate. Abby is not. She is not a big barker, and she just loves everyone. I do not fear one bit, not for one second that she will bite anyone. Of course any dog can bite. But I have no fears. I trust her, I test her, I work with her, and she is just the most loving thing in the world. I have to tell you, I truly believe God and Callie sent her to me. They knew I needed her. And even though I am still very sad and miss Callie, my days and nights are more bearable with Abby and Rudy in my life. She is so smart, knows tricks and minds so well. She is the best combination of my Callie and Zoe in personality, not looks, but that's ok. She is not nearly as pretty as Callie and Zoe were, but she makes up for it in Love....

We are about two weeks away from getting our little Jackson here too. Beth is doing good. She and Matt moved into an apartment with it being a disaster. It smells sooooo badly. Tweakers live above her she thinks for they do weird things at weird times of day and night. So they probably are meth users. So they were able to get out of their lease. We are still waiting on the word about buying the house next door. We have a contract on it, but issues have developed. I still think we will come to an agreement on the house and will purchase it, but probably not before the baby gets here. So I guess we will be having house guests for a few weeks. I remember doing the same thing with my in laws years ago. It was a much bigger house than what we have, but I remember we made it work and it was fine. So I am confident we can make it here as well. Ideal? No way. But for a short time we can do it. Maybe they can save a few bucks, and I will help with the baby and Jordynn and it will give us time to work on fixing the house up before it becomes occupied. I am so in love with the idea of owning five acres and two homes and Scott and I fixing it up. I am good at remodeling homes, and Scott is good at doing my dreams for me. So I have high hopes for this new goal for us. It will be an investment for our future and that is the most exciting part of it all.

My son and dil will be here for Christmas...can't believe that. Two years in a row?! Wow. Scott and TJ went deer hunting a couple weeks ago and was successful. Yeah for them. (said with sarcasm!) But they were happy. Scott is taking on a new job, still driving and delivering trucks, but with a different company. The one now has a very hateful, vindictive mean spirited woman that makes his life too stressful for being retired. So good by ugly lady. This new company does not pay as well, but very close. But the less stress is more important. Me? well I am still taking pictures here and there, still loving life beyond measure and can't wait for the baby to arrive. My life is calming down from the past year or so. My step daughter is still seeing her boyfriend and it is much easier for her since her husband is gone out to sea. We have not seen our grand kids since the end of July, she is punishing us but the real punishment is Caleb and Allie don't have us in their lives. But I have come to grips with it, she is being mean, hateful and unloving, but that is her decision not mine. We have asked and asked for the kids but there is some reason why they can never come here. We can't even talk to them. Oh well, she will answer for it some day. She thinks I don't know what she is doing, but she forgets what I did for a living and how I find out things. I have pictures and more information of her with the other family,and at some point in time it will benefit me. But she will have to come to realize what she is doing and decide to change or she won't and things will continue. It is her decision not mine. Oh well. Scott does not want to confront her with it, and I have come to realize that is HIS decision. I will live my life as I know I should and that is all I can do. So there it is girls. My life is doing ok, and I hope and trust yours is too....Miss you girls and maybe I will get back to blogging more when I have PICTURES to post of a precious new little one.

Love to you all,
me!

Where to Start?

2011-08-23T13:44:00.006-05:00

Six Months Ago

Well where do I begin this posting? I will be surprised if anyone even reads it since I have not posted in over six months. So what should I talk about? How about just life?

Life, it has been going on around here at our house. My daughter lost her job in March, and lost her dog. Daisy was once again trying to escape and we had done everything known to man to prevent it. But she got hung up on the fence and died. Beth came home to find her and I am furious that NO ONE called the police or animal control or anything and you know that dog had to be crying in pain. She was hanging by her back leg on a wooden fence. Are people really that shallow? Or maybe it didn't happen the way I see it in my head. But that was so upsetting. So that was on Friday and she lost her job on Monday. I was a basket case over that. There is a whole lot to the story that I just don't want to go in to. but I feel mostly it is a bunch of men who did not like Beth dating Matt (because he is black) and she did bring their drama to work. So they got tired of it in my opinion. But when they told her she didn't make coffee in the morning or tea really set me over the edge. She doesn't drink either, is NOT a secretary, and had not been told to do so. They were slobs and did not keep the kitchenette clean or the bathroom. But they got upset with her because the place was not clean. Well why was it her job to clean up their pee all over the floor, or messing bathroom sink, their spilt coffee on the cabinet. They could also have hired a cleaning person to some vacuum, empty trash or TELL her that it is her job. Frustrating, but I do want to say that I am grateful to the guys for hiring her and giving her a chance. Things just did not work out.

Ok, then....my step daughter continued to have her affair with this Sean guy. She was pretty open about it, didn't matter to her that her husband said to stop, didn't matter she was hurting her children, nothing mattered but her selfish desires and her affair. But then I got frustrated with my son in law because when he got tired of her on going affair, she decided to go pick up a girl from the bar, or go sleep with a friend (with benefits!) So he sure showed her! In the mean time those precious kids suffered from the yelling, fighting, lies, cussing, and physical conflicts. Caleb was told to not talk to the counselor at school for they were afraid that the kids might be taken away. Ya think? This has gone on and to this day I believe she is still with him for she is not speaking to me now. She has blocked me facebook and then created another facebook page using the name Sarah Jobes not Harrison. Interesting huh? But I found out she is still friends with the guy she had the affair with and his wife. Oh wait, he divorced his wife and moved her into a trailer a few feet from his house so she could shack up with the hired hand on the farm. So I wonder did the threesome just increase to a foursome? hummm? I contacted a couple attorneys trying to get custody of the kids but I had waited too long and the emergency situation had passed....and now she is very careful about what I know. She has threaten Caleb that she will "beat him" if he tells me anything. Poor little guy. And he told me that himself. He threatened to jump out of a moving truck if his parents didn't stop fighting, but this was because his mother threatened to jump out of a moving truck in front of her kids. Can you imagine how that made Caleb feel? And he tells me it is HIS FAULT. That if he would just be better behaved, or do more around the house or not fight with his sister. I told him NO, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. This poor boy will be messed up in the head for the rest of his life. My son in law has now deployed so Sarah can't divorce him while he is at sea. But I have reason to believe she is still with Sean, I won't give away my sources but when I need to pull out the big guns I will have it. That is part of why she won't talk to me for she thinks I am stupid, and of course she calls me all kinds of grown up names in front of my grandkids. Isn't she lovely? I guess you can tell I am a bit angry.

Ok, so after that.....(which continues to this day!) My poor little Callie got sick. In May Callie was coughing and I just didn't like the way she sounded. I had taken her to the vet in Dec for Heartworm testing but was not confident in the vet we saw. So my fear was her cough was due to heartworms. We went to a new doctor who also has boxers and I knew that. He listened to her heart and told me to rush her to the hospital. I didn't, we went the next day and the doctor there put her in ICU and the mess started. She had a bad heart. I can't spell all the things she had, but it was an irregular heart beat and then she went into heart failure due to some medicine they gave her. It was the reaction to it. So from then on she was on three or four meds a day. Then as time went by things got worse. I took Rudy to the vet just a week ago to get him heartworm tested and took Callie with me. Well she started breathing really hard and bad and the look on her face was the lights were on, but no one was home. I got so scared. My vet said to rush her back to the hospital. She had called and talk to our specialist and that is what he said to do. Well I did, and she collasped in the car. I got her there and they stabilized her, kept her for about three or four days. She came on Friday but I could tell she was not ok. Her medicine was $100, for one and $100 for another plus her hospital bill was about 1,000. I talked to the doctor about what her prognosis was and he said he felt good that this new medicine would regulate her heart and things would be ok. But he said, if it didn't, there was nothing else they could do for her. All weekend she kept getting worse and I could tell. I was going to take her back to the vet on Monday but that morning she would not take her medicine, and she would not eat. All the sudden she started breathing really hard. She went outside and just looked lost. She couldn't stand up and just laid down panting. It was misting and I knew she would not lay there if she were ok. I went out in my pj's picked up my baby and carried her into the house. I yelled for Scott to come and told him she wasn't going to make it. He went to get dressed (and I guess decided to take a shower etc) and I laid there with her on her pillow and told her it was ok, it was ok to just go. She looked at me and I could tell she was not going to make it. She would take a breath and then stop. She did that about three times and then was gone. Of course tears are streaming down my face right now as I relive it again with you. But I kissed on her and hugged her and cried. Poor Rudy was right there with me and I know it is really hard on him too. But I know she was tired of taking all that medicine and she was tired of not being able to run and play. So as sad as I am (and I am really really sad!) I do have some peace that she went quickly, God did not make me decided this time how long she was to live which had been my prayer, and I knew what the outcome was going to be at some point in time soon. My life had been on hold while I took care of her. I slept on the sofa to let her out at night and to not disturb Scott's sleep. I did not go to Texas for my son's 30th birthday because I knew she was not having a good weekend. I told him she would be gone soon and please don't begrudge me. At least she died knowing how much she was loved and she died with me knowing how much she loved and trusted me. Oh this is harder to write than I expected. I miss her but I know it will get easier with time. I just went through this with Zoe FIFTEEN MONTHS ago.

Now here is more. I have been having terrible pain up under my ribs on the right side. So here goes all the testing and me putting things off and this and that. I thought it was gall bladder (well after I really thought it was my back out of place!)

But all the testing showed it was not the gall bladder. But they found a spot on my lungs....They decided to test the upper part of my lungs to see if there were more spots. there was, and there was something on my thyroid and something about my esophagus. Now more testing. I am tested out. Everything shows to be....OK more or less. They are going to just keep an eye on things and see if anything grows. But I am tired of testing and it has cost soooo much, this has been such a bad year for us and expenses.

So I thought things were pretty much done with that paragraph. WRONG. In May Beth and Matt found out the land lord did not renew their lease. Then he kept their deposit after I worked my BUTT off cleaning that house. I hate people that lie. Had I known he was NOT going to give them the money back, we would have walked away. But he told Beth she would get it back. I told her to take him to small claims court but she didn't. THEN.....I find out she is pregnant. That was really hard. This all happens the end of May, Callie is sick, Chris is deploying, Sarah is openly going to Westville to be with her boyfriend, Beth has no job, lost the house and NOW IS PREGNANT. Man, when it rains it pours. So they start looking for an apartment and on Memorial day weekend, they get into an argument and decide no apartment. They decide to just go back to living with their parents. I was fine with Beth moving back home.....and after I got over the shock of her being pregnant, I decided life was going to go on. This baby didn't ask to be conceived, he didn't ask to be born, he didn't ask who his parents were, he just will ask to be loved. WELL I CAN DO THAT. So now we are expecting a handsome little boy in November. Beth and Matt are still living with their respective parents as we are trying to buy the HOUSE NEXT DOOR!!! If we can get the house, we will rent it to them and I will keep the baby! Wait, wait, not that I am taking the baby in exchange for a house.....no no no. Beth got a good job, Matt has a good job, and they need a GOOD baby sitter. Then the lady a couple doors down will keep Jordynn on the weeks that Matt has custody of her. That way I am not stressed out with a baby and Jordynn at the same time. Please be praying that this house works out. It went into foreclosure and we tried to buy it. The bank bought it back, we can only give so much for it, and come Sept 8th(ish) we will make an offer AGAIN on it and see if they will take it. It will probably be about 30,000 less than what they will ask, but this house has been on the market for four years and no one has wanted it. So we will see if they will work with us or not. Please pray for it to be God's plan, it would so make my life easier and I could sure use that right now. But I know HE knows better than we do on what the future holds. We are just trying to help Beth and Matt out and to help them have a good start. We shall see. We are looking at the name being Jackson. I think that is so cute. Jackson and Jordynn. Jackson Cooper. I don't know what middle name, but it needs to be short! Beth went to the doctor yesterday and the news was a little disturbing. The baby is only in the 13th percentile of growth. If he does not start growing they will send her to a specialist. He is over two pounds, but it is a little scary for all the things Beth is reading is it could be placenta previa (?) or some other thing. She will be 28 weeks on Thursday. She goes back to the doctor in two weeks to recheck little guy. I will try to get a bit better about posting (for you Marge!)

In all of this, I feel God has taken very good care of me (and Scott) and the stress is just part of our life. Everyone has stress and what doesn't kill you.....only makes you stronger. I AM ONE PRETTY STRONG LADY!!!

Love to you all,

Me!

Hello Again Ladies

2011-02-16T21:58:00.003-06:00

Been Forever

Well I thought I should try to catch a few of you up who don't follow me on facebook...ie Marge! But I can also talk a little more privately and openly with my blog than I can on f/b.

A lot has been going on and boy have the emotions been high.

So Christmas came and went, we had a really nice time with Todd and I think he had a good time as well. We showed him a big family Christmas with tree, gifts, stocking, hidden gift to find, extended family, more gifts, and food. I think he had a good time and I think he will remember it. But it was short lived. by about Dec 29th I think, his father got out of prison. Todd became very agitated and life became a bit more complicated. But he lived through it and then school started back up a few days later.

It was after school starting again, his girlfriend broke up with him. He was pretty upset, as was I for he was getting some ugly text messages from girls. One cussed him out and he told me about it so my feathers got a little ruffled. But I didn't say anything to the girl. Around this same time Todd's mom got out of prison, Jan 11th. She was suppose to be picked up by Smith County deputies and transported back to Tyler for there was a warrant out for her arrest on bogus check (hot check). Well, they didn't do it.....we didn't know it, but she got out and got on a bus and went back to Tyler. Here is where the mess all started. She had wanted me to get her a bus ticket to Tulsa, find her a place to stay etc. She said I could drop her off at the Salvation Army. Well I checked into it and you can't do that. We were coming into some bad weather and cold temps, and there was no way I could drop a 64 year old lady in a wheel chair off and just leave her. AND I could not/would not bring her into my home. Todd started getting antsy and Scott and I both knew things were fixin' to get rough round here. She got mad and said I refused a collect call from her (I didn't), she started calling Todd and they would talk for hours. Or he would call her and talk for hours. I expected it, she is his mother and he loves her. But I just was not prepared for how he would change. He kept reassuring me that he was not leaving....We had some serious talks and I would cry, and at times so would he. I felt like we had really connected and did feel that he was going to stay with us.

We had planned to take Todd to Texas to visit with his mom the weekend after she was released. He had asked if we could go and he needed to see her. I understood that. We had planned this trip even before she was released. But the Friday before we were to go, Todd got into trouble at school. I feel the school went to an extreme, they suspended him OUT OF SCHOOL for five days. He was in computer class and not cooperating with the teacher. She got on to him and he said to another student (which she overheard) "she better not mess up my weekend or she will regret it." So they suspended him for threatening the teacher. I asked the principal to not give him out of school, but rather in school suspension. She said no. If the assistant principal had dealt with Todd, I think she would have done what I asked, but the principal has never been a Todd fan. She is the one that did not even want to let him in her school....because his grades were not high enough. (she told me that) Well there was no way I would keep him from going to see his mom. I had planned to get them a hotel room, and food etc so they could spend time....quality time together. But Friday night I talked to him and offered to let him stay the week there in Texas with his mom if he would ride the bus. Or we would drive him there and only stay the three days. Well he called his mom to ask if he could stay the week and it was a disaster. She shot him down, treated him like crap, he broke....he was completely broken by his mother. It was a HORRIBLE night. The next morning we decided to still go and still get the hotel room. The drive down there was horrible as well. She kept getting on to Todd every time he called her. She was so mean to him. I told Scott I did not like this, this trip was not going to end good at all.

As we got to Tyler, we stayed at TJ's house, took Todd around where all he wanted and needed to go. Starting with his "granny Ruth's" house. We took her the Christmas presents Todd had bought her, we visited for a minute and then left Todd there to visit. Scott and I just left to give them time together. After a couple hours, and by this time it was late at night, we headed back to TJ's house, and here we go again. Todd's mom and Todd get into an argument over the phone. I can't stand it. She gets on to him for not coming to see her. I finally call her myself and tell her, I was the one driving the car, not him, and I was not going to North Tyler. sorry, but not going to happen. TJ told me to stay out of there especially late at night. So that is what I did. I had gotten them a hotel room for the next day and night, I had bought food for them, soda, tea, candy, and cash to go eat on...and you know what she says???? What? They aren't taking us out to a nice restaurant to eat? Ummmm nope! not after how you have treated Todd for the past several hours and me for that matter. I really was dreading this hole weekend.

Sunday we took Todd to the hotel, gathered up all the food and things. We had pictures of Todd that I had taken, lotions and bubble bath, shampoo, conditioner, all kinds of personal things for her to have. A nice batch of items for her to have. We drop him off, and we leave.

We had talked to the front desk and told them about what all had been happening. We asked if she would keep her ears opened in case there is an argument would she call me. She said she would. She being the lady that runs the front desk and I am guessing owns the hotel (Mrs. Patel) for she lives there. She was super nice and I really appreciated how she was so willing to help. So all night I was very nervous....it was a bad feeling....I was honestly very worried for and about Todd. That was a very long night for me.

The next day we went to the hotel to get Todd. We had told him we would be there between 10 and 11. We arrived at 10:15, went to his room and spoke to his mom. I told him we needed to be heading out, for we were going to go get his things from "Vicki", the lady who threw him out of the house when TJ met up with him. He wanted to get his special things and we were going to try and help him reach that goal. Well, that started the first of the problems of that day. First he was mad because he wanted to wait till 11:00 to leave. I told him no, I was sorry, but we had a long drive home, and plus getting his things from Vicki, we needed to be going. He was mad. We told him we would be waiting for him in the car. He came out in a few minutes. All this time his mother never said thank you, or anything. She kept saying to him in a whiney voice, "it's ok Todd, just go on, I will be fine...." I knew we were going to be in trouble. As we were driving to Vicki's house, his anger continued. I had him call her to make sure she was home. She wasn't. She was in another town about 20 minutes away. there started the second problem. He wanted his things, she was not home. I spoke with her on the phone and asked if there was another person that could give him his things...she said yes, but she did not want Todd in her house. I said ok, I understood. So I went to the house and got the things she handed out to me and Todd was FURIOUS. He wanted in that house. When he did not get all his stuff that he wanted he became more enraged. Scott had to basically keep him in the car. We left and drove around the corner to wait for Vicki at Tony's house. Tony could calm him down if anyone could. Well for over an hour Todd just kept going on and on, not calming down, I called his mom, I called vicki, I was getting pretty worn down. Todd didn't want to come home. bottom line.....Tony asked for me to let Todd stay the week (well a few days) and since he was suspended I really didn't have any choice. I knew if we tried to MAKE him get in the car he would fight us all the way back home. So we had to just let him stay. I knew it was a bad decision....for him. But I also knew he was not my son and I could not make him go. I cried. I hugged him and told him goodbye, told him I loved him, kissed his cheek, and that is the last time I have seen him. I cried....I sobbed....Scott even asked me to let him drive, but I said no, I was fine, I wasn't but I wanted to drive. About an hour out of town we get a phone call and the police have already been called to Tony's house involving Todd. What a mess.

Now that we are home and things are settling down, Todd has called and stayed in touch. His phone conversations have not been that good towards us either. He was suppose to stay a week and then come back but I knew in my heart it was not going to happen, and I was right. The next weekend when I called and was making the arrangements to get his bus ticket he had an attitude with me and I just told him goodby and hung up the phone. I knew it was not going to work, the week that he stayed there in Texas, he had returned to the boy that he once was. I had to say good by to the Todd I knew, the Todd was had watch change and grow. Now he calls and still wants me to hurry up and mail him his clothes, get him his things, give him his stuff that we have gotten for him while he was here. I had cleaned out cabinets and given him some things for him and his mom.....they want them now. Oh by the way....after leaving him there, he is NOT living with his mom. He can't. So now he is back to staying with Granny Ruth and she does not have room for him,but he is there. He is in school after being out for two weeks......he tells me it is really hard for they do not work with him on his schedule or classes or anything. I told him I was sure sorry. He told me he was bored, for he can't get on the internet, or do anything.....I told him I was sure sorry. He asked if I had mailed his I-pod yet.....nope, we have had a blizzard here and no mail even ran for over a week, and then another storm came in and I had not gotten out to mail him anything. Then he calls and wants to know where his check is. Where HIS money is....then his mom emails me demanding his check and his things. So I called S.S. and told them what is going on, what the situations is and we got things worked out. I am off his case, and his mother can go to the S. S. office and take it up with them. I was told she will not get the money for Todd is not living with her. But not my problem. I told his mom that I will bring all his stuff to him my next trip to Texas. I have everything boxed up and I am ready for it to be out of my house. but I don't want to take it there when Ruth has no room for his things, and his mother doesn't have room for it, and I am not where I can go to Texas right now anyways. So it will happen when I can make it happen. We already spent $20.00 mailing his first box of clothes. He has another three big boxes, and two or three little boxes....plus his laundry "tub" and his prized pitcher and bowl set from his natural grandmother. It will be a car load no doubt. I can take it and go see TJ, but not for another couple weeks. He had even talked about coming up for spring break, but I doubt that he will now. Life has been complicated. I miss him, but I think it is pretty sure that he can't come back. We had told him this door was always opened. But I fear that now with all that has been said and done, and the treatment we have gotten from him/them does not lend me to have much of an open door policy now. He will have to have a huge change of heart if he ever wants to come back. He has already started back to a lot of his old ways and I don't want to have to deal with that again. His mother is not taking care of him, but she has ruined him for us.

there is a lot more to talk about with my daughter and her boyfriend, my step daughter and her husband....life is crazy. But I will stop for now and try to post another one in the next month or two...ahahah!!!!

I am doing ok, i miss Todd, but I am honestly ok. Our life is settling back down. I think of this and that thinking Todd would have enjoyed doing this, or Todd would have enjoy enjoyed eating there...but he made his choices and that is all I can do......accept it....and hope he know I love him and always will.

December 31, 2010

2010-12-31T21:36:00.002-06:00

Welcome 2011

Happy New Year

What an exciting year it has been. I have not written in quite some time and I am happy to say that this year has been a blessing. We have been in good health, lost no one to death, and things have really just been a great year.

In the start of the year I really can't remember any thing exciting taking place. It seems my life just goes along day in and day out. We were getting a bit stressed out with our house renter in OKC not paying and was behind over 3,000 dollars. But we put the house on the market and sold it the first week. We did not make a profit, might even have taken a loss, but we are out from under the payment, one less stressor and hopefully the taxes won't kill us. Beth found a job and a boyfriend but both of those items caused stress, one being the job fairly far away and cost a small fortune in gasoline and the boyfriend just did not turn out to be a good one. She got rid of him. As spring came along Beth decided to move to the town in which she was working, found a rent home and we got her moved. She had been renting from a family member in S.S. and it was best that she move on for her values did not meet the same standards as the owner (or her mother) and it has been again a great blessing that she moved. She is now less than two miles from her work in a really cute and energy efficient home. She has found another boyfriend and as I do really like him, not sure he is going to be the husband material that she is hoping for. He is a cute, funny, nice guy and I have gotten attached to him and his beautiful daughter, but he and Beth are going to have to make some changes in their lives and get on the same page in order to make a relationship work long term. Beth did graduate from OSU/OKC with two associate degrees and I am very proud of her for that. She is now finishing up with her bachelors and hopefully will do so quickly. School has become a part of her life that needs to be over with!

Stress occurred with our step daughter and her family, but we pray that all will work out. We fear that she and her husband will divorce, it is playing out day by day and we don't know what the future holds. But they are both wonderful people, have much to offer this world, and by marrying young life has offered many changes. Being in a military life does not help either with all the moving and not being able to set down roots. We see the grandkids as often as we can and watching our little Allie grow up has been such a blessing. She is over three years old now and moved here when she was just a mere two months old. She has been a grandma's girl till this past summer and then she really became clingy to her momma. Made me sad, but she still loves me. We don't know if they will stay another year or move with daddy when he takes his next assignment. Only time will tell the outcome of all of that.

TJ and Amanda are going through life as a very active couple. They love to hunt, fish, attend basketball and baseball games in Dallas. TJ works very hard and many part time jobs beside his police work. Amanda has a very nice job at the bank and she seems to be loving it. I believe she just recently got a promotion and it is always nice to be recognized for a job well done. They also decided to take on a big deer lease in West Texas where they can go and get away for a bit. They have taken a couple big deer from there and just enjoy the time together and getting away. No talk of children from them but that is no big deal. They understand that children will change their lives and until/if they are ready for that huge commitment they are wise to not have kids just because everyone else is or that is what the "grandparents" want. I think they really enjoy being able to go and play as much as they do....kids will certainly stop and change that.

This summer came a heart breaker for us. On June 4th we lost our beloved Zoe who had just turned 10 years in May. She had been the most wonderful companion we could have ever asked for. She was great with the grandkids and she also blessed us with a little of beautiful puppies in which we kept two. Our dogs are not pets, they are our family and losing Zoe to cancer caused me much grief. But it happened and it will happen two more times as our puppies are turning six on the 13th of January, 2011. This summer did bring us one of the greatest times with friends that we have had in ages. Our very dear friends from Texas brought their four children to our home for the 4th of July. We had just finished remodeling our kitchen and we were anxious to see how well it worked. It passed with flying colors. Cara and her family spent about four days with us and we were able to bond with the kids to the point they seem like my very own grandkids. If we lived closer I assure you Cara would have a hard time keeping them home for I would be having them here quite often. They live about 10 hours away I think and that is a pretty long drive. We ate a lot of good food, we fished, and created monsters over the fireworks. My heart was just filled with joy!

We also got to spend time with another very dear couple. Mike a retired police officer that worked many years with me, had moved to Georgia and married a wonderful lady that is like a sister to me. They traveled here and spent some time with us before heading to Enid for his parents 60th wedding anniversary. Scott and I went with them to help and of course I wanted to take pictures. We just are so blessed when we get to spend time with Mike and Nancy. Three more years and she will retire, we are planning a cruise together and hoping they will move close to us. There is some serious talk about it.

Scott and I then late August, opened our home to a 15 year old young man from Texas to come and live with us. My son had met Todd "professionally" and asked me if I would take him in. I said are you crazy? Then as he explained the boys parents were both in prison and he needed a home for the state did not take custody of him. The "lady?" he was living with had kicked him out and the boy was house hopping trying to find a place to lay his head at night. He has been such a blessing in our lives. Oh let me assure you it has not been without stress, some arguments, and a lot of talks....but this young man has changed his life in so many ways it would take me pages to write it all down. I am so proud of him. He has attended school with 100%, (has not attended regularly in the past three years!) his grades are "ok", and he is learning rules are there for a reason. He still is not big enough to "take me" yet. He will have to get up earlier in the morning to pull one over on me like he thinks he can. Sometimes I have to whip out my police moves to prove to him that I am still a pretty good cop. Thank goodness the kid only weighs 110 pounds maybe soaking wet! And I am still half way quick on my feet. Thank goodness he doesn't REALLY want to challenge me, that could get ugly. He is a lot of talk and not a lot of go, but I have fun with him. We believe he wants to stay with us at least the rest of this school year. I am going to start teaching him "parent taught" drivers ed so he can get his license as soon as possible. We have him settling down to a routine and even though the kid can eat me out of house and home, and talk the bark off a tree, I so enjoy having him in our life. His dad just got out of prison yesterday and he is nervous about that, his mother gets out Jan 11th and that will be a very tough day for him, but we will get through it.

Christmas saw all of my family together under one roof. My parents were so happy that all their kids, grandkids and great grandkids were able to share the holiday together. This is the first time in many many years for it to occur since they are spread out all across the country. Yes, this has been a pretty darn good year.

So as I close this last posting of the year, I don't know if I will write much in 2011. I have been blessed that my photography has been super busy and I need to start me a web page. (uh...help!) I enjoy writing, and I enjoy my blogger friends, but now face book has taken over since it is much quicker and easier. come on Marge, get on the bandwagon here would you? I want to say Happy New Year's to all my family and friends, those of you that I read about everyday, or talk to once in a blue moon. I loved meeting Marge and would love to find a way to meet all my blogger friends. I am truly blessed to have good friends, a wonderful life, and blessings beyond measure. May we continue this relationship in 2011.

Exhausted

2010-09-29T10:19:00.002-05:00

Need a Vacation!!

Well I can't believe that once again a month has passed and I have not written. As you can tell I am pretty much out of the blogging business. My life right now is CONSUMED by one young man. I never knew how blessed I was until I brought Todd into our home. He is a really good kid, but it is so much work. When you do not raise them from the start they bring to the relationship ....a lot of different life styles. I think the word "baggage" has a negative connotation but I guess it is true in a way. Baggage is stuff you bring with you after all. So I guess it is in fact a true statement.

I am working very hard on helping Todd with so much. His homework is a constant battle. I believe he is just now not bringing it home so I will stay off his back. We did some money from Social Security to help take care of his needs. I appealed the fact that they cut it off, but it was a good thing they did or he would never have been kicked out of the "other house" and would never have been in contact with my son and me. So all things happen for a reason and everything works for the good when God is in control. We have started the process of getting him tested and getting the teachers off his back about his work. I have pressed pretty hard and may have made a few ...less than friends because of it. I don't care. I don't have any other children who will go through that school system, and I will not...NOT be pushed around by people who are PAID and have personally selected that field to be in a classroom to teach ALL children. He has a few that take it seriously and are trying to work with Todd, and then there are some others that as of right now I would not give you a plug nickle for. I am backing off and letting the director of special education take over and do his job. Yesterday I got an email that Todd is eating too much candy and eating it in class. I have told him to not do it, but he sneaks it anyways. So I am just waiting till I get the phone call that says he is in detention AGAIN for not following the rules. That is one that I will sure support. I have told him, the school has told him and now he needs to get caught to learn there are consequences. He pushes his luck and right now is not thinking about choices and consequences. He pushed a little too hard yesterday and we had a pretty good "disagreement". I got up to fix him breakfast and he was very rude about things. So today, I did NOT get up and fix his breakfast, I did not take him to school (Scott did) and I took away ALL the candy. He got mad at me because I would not let him take a soda to school yesterday morning. I told him to drink a glass of milk or orange juice. He said no, he would have to go to the bathroom then. I said, and soda won't make you have to use the restroom? So he got mad and would NOT speak to me the rest of the morning or all the way to school and I MADE him speak to me when he got out of the car. He came home from school still with a chip on his shoulder, so I just ignored him. By the time evening was here he was starting to lighten up a bit. I just did not push or make myself all that friendly. I was SUPER tired after getting up around 5:00 and stressed out for how upset I was over his treatment of me. Plus the fighting over food is wearing me down. He is soooo picky and will not eat healthy. So I guess now I will just have to quit buying snack food, let him lose weight again, and just make good things available. And I will have to keep his money from him or he will go to the quick shop at lunch and buy junk food. But my fear is he will start stealing if I don't give in to him some. I have never had to deal with stuff like this before. It is hard staying one step ahead, and it has become a full time job. He does not think I really do check up on him, but I do. I am on the computer emailing teachers, or talking to people or trying to get him help, I am worn out. Plus getting up and taking him to school, plus going back to pick him up is taking its toll. I don't mind but I am really really tired today. Plus Scott is not helping matters much at all. Scott acts like he does not like him. He is gruff, or unfriendly towards Todd and I do NOT like that. I have dealt with all the crap his daughter dished out to us for all those years, (and still some to this day!) I have dealt with all the stuff my own daughter has dished out and my son too. So why do we need to treat Todd any different. He agreed to bring him home with us, so I don't want to hear it from him at all. He says he loves Todd, but he just is not acting very loving towards him and that hurts my heart. So we have more growing to do here at the Jobes house.

I have been taking some pictures of others and enjoying it. I have a few more photo sessions set up for this month, this is my favorite month to photograph for I LOVE fall.

Oh I have more news....good news. Beth and Matt are fighting for custody of his daughter. I support this too. Matt has tried to be a dad to his daughter but his ex wants nothing to do with Matt. well sometimes....Sometimes she wants him back. So poor Jordynn is paying the price. Since Beth has come into their lives W. has allowed them to keep Jordynn more and more. In fact, they were keeping here four days a week till W. got mad. Then she disappeared for four weeks. Lost her job, lost her car, got kicked out of her apartment, phone shut off, and she would not let Matt see his daughter. She says it is Matt's fault she lost her job....because Matt and Beth had planned to go to the city for the weekend. I was going to keep Jordynn but W. refused to let me. She also refused to let Matt and Beth take her to the city with them. So I don't see how it is Matt's fault she lost her job. She will not give them her shot record or let them put her in day care if they have her. Well they work, hello, someone has to watch her. So she went to DHS to file for child support. No problem, Matt should pay and has been paying when he sees her to give her the money. Scott and I offered to buy her new tires, and Beth was going to fill her gas tank up, but she said no, she wanted the money not the stuff. We said....uh...NO. Anyways, Beth and I went with Matt to his child support hearing. While we were there they told us they had NOTHING to do with visitation and if we wanted to pursue that Matt would HAVE to have an attorney. God is great.....we found a (what we think)great attorney there in the same town as the child support hearing, and he has been a DA, a judge, and defense lawyer, so we are hoping he truly knows his stuff. He allowed us to make a down payment and will let the kids pay out the rest. I was very grateful for no other attorney would let them. So Monday when they were all going to court for Child Support decision.....poor little W was served with papers for custody of Jordynn. She was FURIOUS. You know, I am truly very sorry. It did NOT have to come to this. Matt would pay the child support, but when they have no home, car, job, way to support herself, Matt feels she is better off with them. And I agree. They have good jobs, a bedroom for Jordynn, food, a clean house, a car, and lots of love. they have Jordynn on a schedule, she eats better, takes naps and goes to bed at a regular time when they have her. W has done a very good job with her daughter, I am not saying she is not a good mother. But she can not refuse to let Matt be her dad and she can NOT pull those strings when she gets mad. That is not ok. Plus she lets Jordynn stay with so many different people. When Jordynn kissed me good night she tried to kiss me with an open mouth, french kiss style. I did not react, but told Matt he needed to watch out for stuff like that. That is not healthy or normal. He said yes, he noticed it too. She is so smart and talks to plain for having just turned two. She is very sweet, already is pottied trained and loves loves loves to have books read to her. I hope they get her, and I hope that W. will work with them to do what is best for Jordynn. Please keep all this in your prayers. One last note...her dad (W.'s dad) the people that kicked her out of their house for she was having a baby with a black man, now tell her she can run away to CA if she wants......Beth will be giving that info to the lawyer as well.

Ok, I guess I have rambled on enough. Hopefully this catches you up just a bit. I am really tired.....and I am having a stupid colonoscopy Friday just for fun....for turning 50!!!! ain't age grand?

Introduction to Todd

2010-09-03T09:15:00.005-05:00

New Houseguest...

Well we are starting to settle in with our new house guest. Todd is really a great kid and we are so happy that our lives are enriched by his presense. Everyone is so nice to say how lucky Todd is to be in our home...and although I do appreciate those comments, I want to tell you how blessed WE ARE to have him. My life was good before, but now I feel so, so, so needed? So full of love? So happy, I don't know what words to use but I do like the feeling. Yes it is stressful, I can not deny that, yesterday was a VERY hard day. I have spent more time on the phone than I have in ages. I have had a horrible headache, and I am tired. But I have something I am working towards, I have a goal, a mission, a job. I have had my eyes opened as to how "other" people get treated at school when you are not known and helped and liked. Wow, what an eye opening experience to be a part of the real world. In Enid I never dealt with these types of problems that I have with Todd. The school we enrolled in him was not in our district..had to get a transfer. Ok, we did. Toured the school, got his school supplies, bus route figured out, clothes bought, let him skip the first day (sorry) to go dove hunting with all my family (men folk!). We got a phone call that he was not able to attend school there for he was in fact in the 9th grade not 8th. Now we have to send him to a totally different school. Was advised to NOT attend the large school that is closest to us. Many many issues with it. And not the best enviroment for Todd. So we went to the little country school about 10 miles away. They fought me on wanting to go there. We have the right to go where ever we want and they can not refuse us....so she tried on the card that I am not his legal guardian. Oh yes I am. But she says no for the papers are not signed by a judge. I explained we are not taking his mothers rights away from her, he is living with us till she is able to take care of him (ie, get out of jail). She fought me more and I had to beg and plead. NEVER have I been made to feel so bad about a child needing to go to school. She told me she (the school) has a reputation for high academics. Todd will not achieve those same high levels. The boy has not attened school regularly for the past three years. Texas passed him due to his age not ability. I talked to them too. They were hateful. Asked me if I expected them to give Todd a permanent parking space, how many times did I expect them to retain him. I had some snappy comeback, don't remember what it was, but I was truly offended that a COUNSELOR would speak of a child in that manner and especially to a stranger. She made some comment when I told her I was the person who has taken Todd into my home and I asked her what "I" could do to help him. She said something this and that, and then said "well God bless you", it was meant to be sarcastic, and I replied "thank you, He certainly already has!"

Ok, I put this post on hold and now I have lots more to talk about. I should learn to write more often and smaller postings, but just does not seem to work that way with me.

Well we got him into school and he had a pretty good first day....however I cried like a baby. I felt so bad taking him to a school that just was not "friendly" towards him, but he seemed to have a good day. We took him out to eat at Freddies, a famous steak house in Sapulpa and my parents came, my daughter and her boyfriend came and then even my cousin and her husband came. We had a nice visit, and hopefully made Todd feel really good about himself. The next day was Friday and seemed to be a pretty good day as well. So I was told. Until he got into the last two periods of the day. A girl (new friend) told him a guy wanted to fight him. Over her. He is some ex kind of friend so she says. The boy and his "friends" were waiting for Todd after class. Todd went to the office and requested to speak to the counselor. One of the boys was in the office with him and the secretary kept asking him why he "needed" to talk to the counselor, but the boy was standing right behind Todd. He just told her he needed to talk to her. Finally she went and got a different principal than the one we had trouble with while enrolling him, and said right out loud, "I don't know why he needs to see the counselor, he won't tell me". S o she took him into the office and Todd told her there was going to be an altercation and he wanted to avoid it. She asked him who it was and Todd said he didn't know the boy. She said, you go to school here and you don't know who is threatening you? He said, this is only my second day of school here. She then asked him why he had a pencil in his hand, was he going to stab the kid? He told her no.Now if all this conversation really took place...I AM OFFENDED. But we will see. T oday is a new day.

I have been taking pictures of Todd, partly because I want to, and partly because HE wants me to. It has been fun, I enjoy it, and he seems to enjoy it too. He has enjoyed his new clothes, lays them out on the bed and matches them with this and that just to see how they look. He says he is a girl when it come to his clothes, I think it is that he hasn't had new clothes and he like lookin' good. I am hoping that he fabricates a lot. If he is telling me the truth about half of the things he says, then he has had LOTS of money in his life....I just don't believe it, he has NOTHING to show for it, so I don't believe it. No bling, no fancy cars, no money of any kind etc...so I just don't think he is telling the full truth about his whole past. I think it sounds good in Texas, with other people, but it does not sound all that to me. He will have to learn a new past, new stories to tell, new things to be proud of.

Road Trip

2010-08-27T07:29:00.002-05:00

Marge, you won't believe this !!!!!

In case you have not heard on facebook, Scott and I are going to welcome a 15 year old young man into your home! This guy has been introduced to us via TJ and his "professional" meeting with Todd. Todd's family is not available to take care of him and this young man needs some structure, guidance, and love. This young man needs a place to lay his head, and some meat on his bones. And I can take care of all these needs.....plus add a helping of love, care and acceptance. So as of right now, I am packing my bags, heading to Texas, picking him, taking him to visit his mother that is three hours away from him and then bringing him home to start a new life at least for a while. We are so excited to have this young man. TJ thinks the kid has soo much potential and we are at this time happy to offer him the chance. Will fill you in more later, but just wanted people to know we are so looking forward to having a new guest in our home!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

2010-08-12T12:11:00.003-05:00

It has been TWO MONTHS??? (well almost!)

I can not believe it has been nearly two months since I last blogged. So much has been going on and if I really tried to write about it all, you would be reading for the whole next week or two. Man I sure do wish some certain people would get on facebook so they could keep up with me and my doings a lot easier!!! (marge!)

Well we have had company or been gone or have been doing something special for this whole summer. In my last posting we had gone and gotten the grandkids under rather urgent circumstances. We kept them for a week till their mother was able to get finished in the hay field where she was bailing hay for a "friend". The kids did not need to be out there in that extreme heat day AND night, and plus I loved having them here safe and sound with me. Caleb had been with his other grandparents for 21 days and loved it, so his time here with us was more of the same......spoiling him like crazy. But hey, isn't that what grandparents are for? The kids went home and then we kept them again so Chris and Sarah could go out of state to a wedding, then Allie went home and Caleb stayed a while longer.

I may not have all my dates correct for the summer is such a blur, but we had our friends from Texas with their four children come stay with us over the 4th of July weekend. We went fishing and all the kids caught a fish, we shot off fireworks which they had not done before, we ate smores, we stayed up late, we watched a couple movies which is a HUGE treat for them. They are not allowed to watch hardly ANY tv at their home. Reading is what they do a lot of and very limited computer time too.

We had such a good time they extended their stay by a day and then drove all the way home to San Antonio via east Texas. I think we are going to start doing this every year. Cara is another blogger, a wonderful photographer, and an awesome mom/home school teacher/wife...etc. We had a much needed bonding time together. Her mother Cathy was one of my three best friends of many many years and passed away of breast cancer three years ago on Sept. 6th. Cara and I had not been together since her mothers death and oh my goodness, it was just awesome to reconnect. Hugs and kisses were never so sweet in all my life. And the kids were really good. Jarrod just put up with us and all our silliness (he was just awesome too, made the trip all the sweeter by his kindness)

Now we are planning to meet in Texas, rent a cabin, and spent more time together here pretty soon. I am going to bring their youngest son back home with me and let him stay for a week and give him some special "grandma" time since his real grandma is not here to do it. I know Cathy would be very grateful that I would do this, and it is my pleasure to step up to the plate and do it. Plus it gives me a chance to share my experiences with them about their grandmother as I KNEW her. And I might even have some pictures to share with them too. Oops, that just made me start crying...dang these tears. Still miss her so much.

After Cara and her family left I had the grandkids again. This might be when the parents went out of state to the wedding now that I think about it! then we kept Caleb for a bit longer (two weeks) so we could have our time with him before school starts. Then after we sent Caleb home our dear friends from Georgia came to visit. Mike and Nancy arrived on Saturday with "Gator" a Yorkie that is a hoot to play with. He is getting older, he was a puppy when Mike got him for Becky. they used to come see us when we lived in Enid and he and Zoe would play and play together. Becky has since died of cancer also and Mike married Nancy whom Gator has taken up with and will not eat if Nancy is not in the room to watch him. Mike's parents were going to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary the next Sunday and we went to Enid with them to help host it. Of course I took pictures! Mike said it is the first time they had family pictures taken since in the 70's when his brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. I was honored to be a part of it!!!

After Mike and Nancy left, and after the wedding anniversary party, i think I slept for nearly two days. Then TJ and Amanda came home for a little more than 24 hours. They drove up on Saturday and left Sunday afternoon. We had such a GREAT visit. So needed, much bonding and healing, just a wonderful time together. There is no doubt in my mind that God had his healing hand in it for we were getting very far apart and this allowed us to once again bring our loving family back together where it belongs. Amanda made me a beautiful bracelet, and I did not have any bracelets at all. Then we went to Hobby Lobby and bought the stuff to make two more which I just love. she is very talented and I am so grateful for my gift. I will try to get a picture of it and post at some point in time (but don't hold your breath, right Marge?)

We have gotten involved in church quite a bit and I have hosted one night of Hearts and Hands. Plus attended two work days with our school teachers in need of help, went to a luncheon for a church member that moved away and then returned, plus a couple committee meetings. then of course had to go to a get together party that involved food, fun and fellowship!!! I have been a busy little camper. AND some where in all of this I have done a couple maternity shoots, a newborn, a family, and of course the grandkids....well Caleb and his grandpa! So I think you can see and we can all agree, I have not been wasting too much of my time. PLUS we have FINALLY gotten the last door for the kitchen so we can now complete the kitchen. Yes, it is two months behind the promise date, we will see if they offer a reduction in price and if they don't offer it, I will ask(demand) one of at least 10%. Don't you think that is fair?

Wrong doors, wrong cabinets, wrong size, broken doors, replace the replacement doors, oops, broken again, and then once again, yes, that makes about four replacements, and finally, FINALLY just last week the last door arrived and it was not broken, it was the correct size and color, so now we need to get the kitchen finish!

THEN SCOTT NEEDS TO GET A JOB!!!!! I need some alone time.....oh wait. Scott is going on a hunting trip with TJ for 10 days to dove hunt and maybe get to hog hunt and then go with TJ while he gets to Antelope hunt in western Oklahoma. You can only get drawn once in a life time and TJ got drawn. I hope to start getting some photoshoots this fall, for the spring was too wet, the early summer was either too wet or too hot, and there has NOT been a "good" time to do outdoor shoots. This has been crazy. We are now on our 11th day of over 100 degree heat in a row, plus back in June we had over 100 degree heat index temps. so this has been a wild summer.

Ok Marge, that is what I have been up to, but no pictures....sorry, this has taken long enough as it is. Debbie, Tonjia, Momma and others, you have been keeping up with me on facebook, but I need to get back into blogging. No, I need to start doing something beside sitting at the computer! bye you guys!

Grand kid visit

2010-06-26T09:03:00.003-05:00

First time in a LONG time.

Well I am blessed to have the grand kids again. We have been so busy in the past few months with the kitchen remodel, and then of course dealing with Zoe's sickness and of course her passing, that we have not had the kids for several months. I don't think we have had them since about March. I know I did not see them for my birthday in May nor for Mothers Day. Here it is the end of June so getting to see them is nice.

We went to see a movie yesterday, Toy Story 3. I had been warned that it was sad and a tissue would be needed. I had time believing that, but yes, it is true. I think it would only be a tissue alert for those of us that have children moving on, whether it is for college or just moving out to move on with life. For Andy goes off to college and must decide what to do with Woody, Buzz and the gang. What an adventure they have. I think it is truly nice when a movie for children can have such an in depth plot and story line to it. So if you are up for a cute movie I can recommend it but will tell you to take a tissue or get an extra napkin with your popcorn for the ending!

Caleb has asked us to find him a friend for when he comes here to visit us. I thought that was cute and honestly I have been trying to find someone around our neighborhood with a boy about 8 or 9 years old. No luck. But since we have gotten involved with church we have found a family that we really like and guess what??? They have a boy that is 8 1/2 !!! Caleb turns 9 the end of July so this is perfect. Yesterday was Joe's Half Birthday...He is born on Christmas Day. So his parents do a half birthday for him and I think that is AWESOME. I would feel cheated if my birthday were to fall on Christmas day. I have a hard enough time with my birthday being within 10 days or so of Mothers Day. Seems I get that combined gift instead of two separate ones...what a rip off. (I am just kidding kind of!) I just like to be acknowledged for both and the significance of them both. So we took Joe with us to the movie and he thought that was pretty special.

Update to this posting: Today is now Wed. 6-30-10...

The kids went home today. Boy it is just so hard on me to have them both at the same time. Allie is so cute, talking more and more. but still so hard to understand and life is so complicated when you can't communicate properly. Do I hear an Amen on that?

Caleb is growing up so much. He loves to sing our children church songs and I love it to. I can sing loud and out of tune and who cares? He never complains. The problem with having the both at the same time? One goes to bed early and one goes late, one gets up early and one gets up late.....And me??? I go to bed late and have to get up early. I can do that for a little while but after that I start getting really really tired.

Today I had a meeting with some ladies from church and I am being given the opportunity to speak on personal safety at church. We will have our program and then do a salad dinner. I am sooo excited that I can't hardly stand it. I have not spoke in front of a crowd since I retired three years ago. I am so looking forward to getting back into the saddle again. I will get to do an one hour program then we will go and eat!!! My two favorite things to do! Talk and eat!

Ok, that is my goin' ons here! Enjoyed the kids, getting ready for dear dear friends to arrive with their family of six. They are spending the weekend WITH ME!!! I have not seen them in FIVE years and I plan to spoil the kids ROTTEN. We will have so much fun. Cara is a photographer like me, well she does a lot more work and is better at it than I am, but I can at least say "like me" and hopefully not offend her! Her momma and I were dear dear friends, they have one of my puppy dogs (Zoe's babies, Rudy and Callie's Sister) and I have loved watching Cara grow up, marry and have her own babies. I have bought my fireworks, toys and fun things to do while they are here, and now I need to finish my grocery shopping. Then of course I have to clean the house for it is a MESS after having grand kids, and remodeling the kitchen. I still don't have things put all back together, and the kitchen still is NOT finish. I am determined we will not worry about it now. They will be here Friday. Then later this month my other dear friends from GA will be here for a few days. (ha ha ha, I first typed weeks and had to go back and change it!!! But I would love for them to be here for weeks....I am trying to talk them into buying the house next door. This is going to be a busy month too I think. But I am finding....THAT IS LIFE! Enjoy it to the end.

Kitchen Remodel

2010-06-15T00:07:00.004-05:00

New Kitchen

When we bought this house nearly three years ago, the first thing we were going to do was clean out the garage and then have Scott remodel this 1970's kitchen. Even though the house was built in the early 80's it was caught up in the late 70's feel. I HATED IT WITH A PASSION. Three years later the same kitchen was in my house. Even though I had bought a new stove/oven, by now the warranty was up and it had not even been plugged in!!! hahaha.

While we were shopping with my parents for replacement doors for their rent house, we went into a cabinet store and I fell in love. Scott had said this was a discount store for cabinets and I had already drawn up plans as to what I wanted.....so the process began. I am not sure about the discount part, but I do know that the layout was what I wanted and I loved the cabinets.

I know this looks as if I am a horrible house keeper, well I am not the best, but this is the kitchen after ...AFTER we started packing things and Scott had already started tearing parts of the cabinets out. We had this old drop ceiling with the Plexiglass (?) where the florescent lights shined through. Do you know what I am talking about at all? I know its day it was the thing, but for me it became nothing but a bug catcher. I did not clean them, they looked nasty, and I was ashamed. Scott has them torn down already in these pictures thank goodness!

Let me describe this kitchen. You walk in and the sink is right in front of you. The stove is to the right of the sink on the bar area. To the left of the sink was the oven on the south wall, over by the refrigerator. The pantry was to the left of the refrigerator and was a nice size but hard to reach around and find what you needed in it.

Now with this new kitchen I decided to add a buffet/hutch style piece of furniture. I knew I was going to need more space for when we took out the stove I wanted the bar to be an open area to just open the kitchen up for a larger feel. This buffet area is where I plan to set food to get ready to serve or I could put the plates and glasses there with the food on the bar. Either way, I was thrilled to add that to the kitchen.

One of the larger expenses was the change in the electrical work. We had the house electric all upgraded. The panel was old and did not have replacement "stuff" for it. (don't know what it is called unless it is called breakers) So with the upgrade we installed canned lights (I love them) and the track light over the bar area. There is pretty much enough light now. We also put in a ceiling fan in the dinning area for the back part of the house is just so much hotter and we wanted something to just stir the air. I am so glad we did. We also had separate breakers installed for things like the microwave, trash compactor etc. no more throwing breakers while using the microwave, electric skillet and watching tv at the same time!!! Hip hip hooray.

Scott fixed the sink and plywood counter tops for me to use until the new ones arrived. He was very good to keep my kitchen functioning as there was a lot on my "plate" at that time with Zoe being so sick. I really needed to be able to fix her food, anything at all trying to entice her to eat. I was very grateful he was willing to do that for me. You can see in this picture the cabinets are in, as well as the appliance, but the crown molding is not in place. The cabinet to the left of the sink is the wrong size. It was to be a 15" but instead they sent a 12" cabinet. One of about a dozen mistakes, but I am very patient with them know that things just happen. Scott was extremely disappointed in all the mistakes and called them on them and luckily for us Kevin has made everything right. He has been a dream to work with and told us they are getting tons of complaints for the factory had laid off several people during the winter and slow times. Now that the weather is good, people are wanting to remodel the house and the company hired new workers....with no experience. They are paying for that mistake. Scott has not let them off the hook for any reason and I honestly am glad. He was harder on them than I would be, but he is a cabinet maker for Pete sake and will not put up with this junk. I am pretty sure we will NEVER be buying pre made cabinets again in our lives.....but I bet next time he will get on it quicker than three years. Ha haha.....

Here my granite counter tops are arriving. Oh I love my granite. We had it in Enid and I loved it there and wanted it again. Yes it is a luxury, but I did want it, got it on sale for a price I feel was very affordable, and I am a happy camper!
It took all three of these guys to bring in the slab for the bar area. They had to cut the granite into three different sections which I am not crazy about. But I will say this... the seams are pretty much invisible. I know where they are, but I bet you walking in the kitchen will not see them. You won't be looking for them and they do NOT jump out at you. So I am grateful for that.

The next day Scott was getting the plumbing all set up and he quietly hollered at me to come see. I walked in and he just looked at me and grinned. Both the dogs were there helping. Since Zoe has passed away there are now only two. Otherwise I feel pretty certain all three would have been right there making sure Scott did it right!

Here the cabinets are installed, the crown molding is up and the counter tops are in place. I had actually fixed dinner and was waiting on Beth (daughter) to come over and eat with us. We are still needing to fix a few things at the time of this picture, but I got that bull whip out and most of all the projects are now done.

This is the back splash, tumbled marble and I love it. the lines are really straight, it is just me taking a crooked picture. Good grief. But I have since got the grouting done, and the electrical outlets back in place. I think it looks really nice, but I have not taken a picture of the finished product. I now have stuff on the counter top waiting to be put away. Not sure where to put everything, it did not give me as much storage as I thought it was going to, and finding a home for everything has proven to be very challenging. I lost my hand mixer and we had to go on a hunt to find it. After quite a while it was found under the cabinet on the lazy Susan shelf. I told Scott it will be like Christmas every day in there...looking for the stuff and finding the "gift". Good grief!

I will try to get some pictures of the final project, I am happy as a clam right now with this new kitchen. I feel my home is now a modern, more appealing place to entertain. I can't wait to have company, or a church party here at the house. I am very proud of what we have done, feel good about our home and it even encourages me to keep the dishes done!!!!!

Marge, this posting is mostly for you since everyone else follows me on facebook and has already seen the pictures. But I remembered you have not so I had to post this "just for you". Plus you have seen the before in real life, now you just need to come see me again and see the after product. I think you will be very pleased with what you see.

love to all my girls,

Lisa

Short Update

2010-06-10T15:29:00.002-05:00

Sad News

I just wanted to let you know, those that do not follow me on facebook, that Zoe passed away Friday June 4th, 2010 at 12:24 pm. I have never cried so hard in all my life. And when I was feeling very shallow for crying SO hard over a "dog" (my four legged child, friend, loyal faithful companion) I remembered, I have never lost anything that I was so attached to. In all my life, my 50 years on this earth, I have been truly blessed to have not lost many in my life. Yes, I have lost my grandparents, and that was hard. But I did not live close to them, saw them rarely, loved them dearly, but distance did make it different. Same with losing my aunt and uncle. When you do not have a connection with someone, when you don't ever see them, the relationship is not as strong. So this death has been very difficult for me. I am fine. I am sad, but fine. I am still grieving very much, cry at weird times, and yes, I am sad, a lot. But I know I am going to be fine. I do look at the big picture, I know that Zoe was not going to be here forever, 10 years and 20 days. I was not ready to let her go, but I have said before ....this is not about me, this is about my special girl. She finally told me the last week that she was tired. She had a hard time getting around, she would not eat, and I tried EVERYTHING. When she looked at me for the first time with those eyes and I saw not really sadness, but tiredness, I knew it was time. When she had a hard time getting outside (and she NEVER had an accident in the house, even during this sickness!) she looked lost, I knew the time was close. I prayed a lot, I prayed that God would just take her, please don't MAKE me make the decision. That is the part I have the hardest time with. I know I know, everyone says it is the "humane" thing to do. Well I don't see it that way. I see it as taking a life. I took her life. She did not die, I took her life. That is the hardest part for me to get over. I miss her. I miss her not greeting me at the front door, or at the gate. I miss her not sitting by me and putting her head in my lap. I miss her. I just miss her. A LOT. How is it that some people get really attached to dogs, or pets in general. How come others don't? What does that say about me....or others? I have always said that I in fact have a bit of attachment disorder. I have said about myself often that I can give things up and give things away with little emotional distress. But when it came to Zoe and her offspring, I have never NEVER never had this type of feelings towards anyone or anything. Now I truly dread the end for Rudy and Callie. I do not want another dog, I don't want any other pets, that might change, but right now the pain is just too raw.

But on to happier things.....the kitchen is getting nearly done. There are still a few things waiting to be completed. One 15" cabinet is not in yet, four doors need to be replaced or installed, the back splash needs to be installed and then finish painting and cleaning up. I am gaining on it. but boy howdy, in the mean time, my yard is sure being neglected...oh my goodness. So we still have much to do. We are moving Beth ONCE again this weekend. It did not work out for her to rent from my elderly cousin and without taking sides, I think it is best the Beth move on to another place. She found a house two miles from her work so that will save a ton of money on gasoline since she drives an SUV. She is paying out the nose on utilities so hopefully this house will be better in that respect. It is a newer home, more sound, a bit smaller but I think it will be a much better place for her. It also has a 6 ft wooden fence all around it and hopefully will be much more secure for her dogs. Please keep Beth in your prayers that she will be successful in this home...for I do not know what she will do if this one falls through. But I think she will be so much happier in her new home, I really do. The town is a wonderful little town that is growing by leaps and bounds, but does not have the traffic congestion of a big city, plus it boarders Tulsa so she can still go to Tulsa if she "needs" to. She will really do good in Owasso.

I will close for now. I am fixing dinner in my almost completed new kitchen. I will post some pictures one day here pretty soon. I just love the look and feel AND function of this new kitchen. One bright spot to be thankful for and I am. Besides all my friends. Thanks you all.

Life's Happenings

2010-05-31T21:57:00.001-05:00

Hello All

Well life continues on. Have you notices that no matter what is going on in your world, life really does continues to spin. As it should be. There is a lot going on here in my world too.

Zoe is still in my life, but just barely. I have really struggled with this, but each day I look at her and she is wasting away. I know the end is very near and my heart just breaks. But then I think that I have to do what is best for her. This is NOT about me and let me assure you it has NEVER been about me. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I am not keeping her around for me, I am keeping her alive because SHE wants to live. But now I feel she is just worn out. She is struggling and I know she is still so happy, she has NEVER been grumpy one bit, but she is wearing down. So I feel in my heart this week will come to an end for her, she is not eating and it is not fair to make her live a life where she can not eat. I love her more than any words can tell you. And I hate that life makes us make these decisions. But she has brought me more joy in my life than anything.

Our kitchen is nearly complete. I am so excited. But this kitchen has been extremely difficult for Scott. The cabinets are NOT the quality that he would have put into them. And the parts were not all delivered as they should have been, two cabinets were not even the right ones. So this has been very stressful for Scott. Now for me, it has been pretty much a breeze! (just kidding, if Scott is stressed it causes me pain as well. I don't like seeing him struggle) The cabinets are very pretty, and Scott has done a great job pulling it all together. But let me assure you of this....NEVER again will we ever buy cabinets. They are so cheaply made, and cost so much. However, I have only been waiting for two and a half years for this kitchen to get remodeled and I asked Scott if he was ok with the cabinets. He gave the final approval, so I don't feel too guilty. (maybe next time he will move just a little bit quicker huh?) I did find the microwave, ventahood on sale at Sears. I was happy about that. Then we ran over to Lowe's and found the faucet on sale as well. I didn't get the doors that I ordered, but I have been living with the other ones now for over a week and I think they are going to be just fine. So I can cancel the order and save $300.00, and it is worth it to me. After the kitchen is done, I will try to post some before and after pictures. I am so happy that my house is starting to look just a bit more modern! Thursday the counter tops will be here.....wooohooo, can't wait!

I am getting to become a non fan of face book. When I first signed on I was excited to reconnect with friends. I have not lived in Sand Springs in about 30 years so reconnecting meant a lot to me. It allowed me to stay connected to my friends from Enid and now reconnect with friends here and of course family. But I have decided it is the family thing that has caused the most grief. There are things being said on face book that I would never say to a person face. And I feel if you aren't going to say it to ones face why would you post it on the Internet for everyone else to read? Now things have been posted that are opinions derived from lies and angry people. Want to guess who it was written about? I didn't even know it was about me at the beginning, but it went on and I was not only the victim of this garbage, but it carried over to others. When I asked for it to stop, phone calls were made to my mother. All of it was denied....yet it was right there on the Internet. I don't understand why anyone would do that. I love my family, and now I am so wounded by their words and actions. Why is it that family has to be this way. This is not done by my blood family, but it still hurts just the same. I have decided that I have to just let my world keep spinning. I know what is right and what is wrong. I know that I have done what is right....I tend to ALWAYS try and take the high road ( and honestly I do get VERY tired of it.....once I would like to do something MEAN, I would like to be HATEFUL, I would like to CUSS someone out and just unload....but that is NOT what is right!) I try, I try VERY hard to do what is right. No I am not always right, and I certainly am not perfect....but I give it my all, I put my heart right out there, and it keeps getting stomped on. I just don't understand it, I really don't. I have more love in my heart than what you could ever measure. I try to be good to everyone, I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But I will tell you this.....once you betray me, once you purposely hurt me, once you cut my throat, stab me in the back, I don't forget it. I may get over this, it will take time and I might get over it, but until then, I will not try to maintain a relationship. TRUE relationships MUST work both ways, and when it is not important to both people or groups of people, to try to be considerate of each other, then that relationship is doomed. I am finding it is so much easier to have friends rather than family and that BREAKS my heart. Zoe never hurt me, never betrayed me, unlike the humans in my life and now I have to kill her. Life is NOT fair. But while I am here dealing with all this.....the world keeps spinning.

50 IS Pretty Nifty

2010-05-21T14:53:00.003-05:00

Best Birthday Ever

Well I have not posted in a while, been pretty tough around here. Zoe is holding her own and yesterday was a good day for her. But MY yesterday is a whole other story. I turned 50...yes that is right the big 5-0. And you know what? It was wonderful. Having a birthday party was/is a BIG deal to me. I have only had one birthday party in my life and that is when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. However, yesterday was filled with so many good things.

We started the day very early and went to Stillwater to watch my grandson be a boll weevil in the school play "Bugs". I didn't take my camera, I wanted to just be grandma and enjoy the program. Their school is small on space and large on students and parents so you can't see very well at all, can't hear very well at all, and Caleb was there and then gone. Then came back later to sing and dance the Army Any song. It was about 30 minutes but it was well worth the drive there and back. We took Caleb to lunch, he wanted to go to Pizza Hut and we went. Taking him back to school, dropping him off, he said, I miss you grandma, when can I come stay with you? I didn't know what to say, told him to ask him mom and dad and he can come when ever they will let him. I hugged him, kissed him on the head and he did what he ALWAYS does.....he takes his little hand and he rubs in the kiss so it will stay. He has done that long as I can remember and it is so sweet. He smiled at me with that big boy smile, walked into the hall and walked away. He turned back around and gave me a little wave and went off to class. I walked out of the school and a tear slipped down my cheek. In ONE YEAR he will be gone....In ONE YEAR he will be moving to the east coast if his mom and dad are still in the Navy then and still together. Nobody knows the future, who knows what next year will bring, but in ONE YEAR, my world is going to be turned completely upside down. There is no way to explain to "some" people what a grandchild means. How you so look forward to a phone call from them, or an overnight visit. Those cards on Mother's Day, or your Birthday, or Grandparents Day. A drawing from their little hands to be placed on the refrigerator with pride. Yes, grandchildren are special in ways that only some people can understand.

I came home from the program and checked the mail. I hoped that maybe I would get a birthday card. I can pretty well count on one hand who I might get a card from on my special day. It is Aunt Peggy =), or Linda J =), and then maybe .....nope, that's pretty much it! But yesterday I opened the mailbox and oh my gosh.....I had several cards. I could not believe it. One card I didn't even know the return address.....wait, it was from someone in L.A. I thought about it, I looked a little closer and the name was Bern, OH MY GOSH......that is a blogger friend that I have enjoyed getting to know, how in the world? And then I look a little closer and there are other cards with address that I did not recognize. My heart leaped with joy. This was super weird though. I get on the computer and check my facebook (tons!!!!! of birthday wishes there), then I remembered something, I was signed out of facebook one day and I had NOT done that. I was seeing all these clues but could not put it together. I went into my message center on facebook and checked the sent box .....nothing there. This was just too stinkin weird. My daughter called and I told her I had cards in the mail today, a bunch of them. And from addresses I didn't recognize. She made some comment, I don't remember what, life went on. I took me quite a while to figure out she had something to do with this. She hacked into my facebook account and sent messages to all my friends and asked for them to send me cards. She sent so many messages that she got blocked from facebook for two days for she was considered to be spamming. She said it was terrible to get blocked from facebook! I laughed at her! I think that was really really sweet of her to go to that trouble to send messages to my friends to send me a card. She said she hoped I really am friends with every one on my facebook for they all have my address now!!!! I told her I was, I don't just friend everyone that asks me to on facebook, I have to know them or won't accept them. I kept my cards and waited till dinner to open them.

Dinner....oh yes, Dinner. Beth asked me what I would like to do for my birthday dinner. I usually have liver and onions with mashed potatoes and then strawberry shortcake for dessert. but I don't have a kitchen right now due to the remodel job taking place AND I don't think Beth likes liver and onions. (don't remember her ever eating it before). So I said I wanted to go to the Melting Pot. Never have been there and I have always wanted to try it. We head over there (Beth and her boyfriend Matt, Scott and myself) to dinner and realize, I don't know where it is. Thank goodness Beth has Internet on her phone and she located the address. I thought I knew where it was and come to find out, I was right. We got there only a couple minutes late. Walked in and there sat my cousin Jill who is like my sister, her husband Toby and their grown married daughter Courtney. Three of my favorite people showed up too. I was shocked, surprised and pleased!. Jill is not a birthday person. She does not "do"birthdays but she is so thoughtful knowing that I DO, DO birthdays. And here they were at one of the most expensive places to do dinner and they did not even bat an eye. I feel so special. A gift on the table and more cards. So while we waited on food and waited for the "process" or "experience" or whatever you want to call it, I opened my cards. I read each one and savored how EACH card truly fitted the person sending it, and how it fitted me....perfectly. I loved it. It was truly such a special event. And I can tell you this.....if you decide to go to the Melting Pot, just cut to the chase and go for the dessert. Oh my gosh, strawberries, marshmallows, rice crispy treats, cheesecake, pound cake, brownies, all that to be dipped into a luscious chocolate melted to perfection. The cheese with veggies was good. The broth and meats were delicious. The lettuce wrap was .....awful...but the dessert.....was WONDERFUL. Worth every single penny we spent....and there were quite a few pennies!!!!

Now Saturday, we are having a PARTY. I am so excited. Poor Beth started out just planning a simple gathering of my brothers and their families and us. I wanted more than that. I love my family, there is a lot of stress and tension in my family right now that I am NOT going to write about. But sometimes I NEED my friends. I have some really good friends that are new to me here in Sand Springs. I have some really good friends left behind in Enid, and I wanted some of my friends to be invited. Well my mom didn't want outsiders so Beth said she would have it at her house. After my list got longer, I told her we needed to check at the community center and get a room there. So we did. Today she went and got the decorations, I am making a list of the foods I want to fix, keeping it very simple of course, and I need to find a punch (an easy one!) and then tomorrow, TOMORROW, I shall celebrate my second birthday party. At the age of Fifty I feel so giddy. I feel special, I feel......I don't know, it is a really good feeling. My feelings have been hurt by some that forgot me on mothers day, and some one else forgot my birthday that really has no excuse. but I can't control that. Family is something extra special and important to me....But I have to remember my values can not be imposed on everyone else's value system. That is very hurtful... this tough ole cop, tough as nails, can a soft side. And that is my family. Not too many things really can get to me... I can shut myself down very easily to activate a self defense mode. But tomorrow, I will feel loved, I will feel validated, I will feel special. I think two times in fifty years is not too much to ask for. I do not feel selfish by expecting this. I don't expect everyone else to understand it either. It just is what it is and it is me.....turning/celebrating 50 !!!!!

Thank you friends for making it such a special one for me!

Love to you all,

Lisa

Tough Week or Two

2010-05-02T20:10:00.003-05:00

My past couple weeks....

I know, I usually post pictures and you will be very disappointed (maybe not) but this posting is not about pictures. Let me see if I can find just one so hang on will you.

Yes, this is about Zoe. You see she is getting grey around the edges, and I noticed a while back she was losing weight. So I feared the worst...boxer+age=cancer. Boxers are known for cancer in the later years of their lives and so I just knew this was the outcome. She started throwing up and not eating as good as usual so I feared the worst and took her to the vet. Why? I don't know....to confirm it? I took her in to see the vet, a wonderfully compassionate vet. She is young, sweet, kind, cute, I just can't say anything bad about her, she is great. She took Zoe outside to do a urine sample, drew blood to test for about everything under the sun and called me Monday evening soon as she could with the results. Everything showed just fine. When we were in the office she listened to her heart and lungs, felt all around her body and was very convincing that there is no cancer. She said that since Zoe "feels" so good, playful,etc, she just did not feel there was any cancer. We put her on medicine and the next two weeks were....up and down. I thought things were getting better. But then I was finding "accidents" in the house. Looked like Zoe was having a bad chase of the runs if you know what I mean. I was frustrated at cleaning up the carpet, steam cleaning it every other day or so was starting to wear on me. But one night I decided to sleep in the living room with Zoe. To just be there when/if she got sick. She did. But instead of it being the runs, she was throwing up. Dark brown vomit...this can't be good. I call the vet again and get her right in. I cried. I cried all morning, I cried soon as I walked into the office and a sweet family says, "oh it's a boxer and she is soooo pretty", I started crying....I felt stupid....STUPID. This little boy came over and loved on her, petted her, the dad just petted her and kept saying to his young wife, "see, this is what I want, she is so pretty and calm, and just look at her, honey this is the kind of dog I want, why can't I have one of these?" I laughed inside thinking, this is the daddy not the three year saying all of this, what's wrong with THIS picture??? But the tears kept slipping out of my eyes and down my face. I couldn't stop them. I tried, I am not a big crier and I sure don't cry IN PUBLIC. That is something reserved for alone time, personal time, NEVER out in public and especially around kind people talking about my sweet girl. I finally was able to speak and quietly say to the kind family that my girl was sick and she is getting old. They said, well we hope all goes well and you have good news. I cried more. That is exactly what I was hopping for.

Finally the girl took us to a room, we had weighed Zoe and she had lost another six pounds in two weeks time. Before that she had lost 12/13 pounds in the past few months I am guessing. Hard to tell when you see the day in and day out. But my poor Zoe was now showing her backbone, and her muscle mass is gone. I know what is going to be said....I feel it in MY bones...I just feel it. This is the day that all my fears are going to be confirmed. The nurse (whom I don't know, have never seen before, just like the girl at the desk, I am guessing they have a new staff here for some odd reason and I don't like that!) She took Zoe and they did some X-rays, the doctor came back and once again...results are fine. I don't get this. I just don't get it. Her blood work is good, her x-rays are fine, what is going on?

I brought her home and we have an appointment with a specialist on Tuesday morning. But last night was TERRIBLE. I am sleeping in the living room with Zoe on her bed and the other dogs sleep in the living room with me. She got up several times in the night to go outside, probably to be sick. She is not eating ANYTHING at all and so I know this is not good. I can't stop crying. I am just not ready to give up my girl. Sunday morning she was in a daze...she looked terrible and just walked around the yard. She would dig at the fence and I feared she was trying to get out so she could go away to die. She is not old enough for this to be happening. She is not even 10 yet. She looked terrible, slobber hanging out of both sides of her mouth, her feet were wet and dirty, she is bone thin and has this sad sad look on her face. I bring her back in the house, cleaned her mouth, her feet and had her to lay down. I just laid beside her and gave her a massage. I rubbed her head, her neck, her back, shoulders and gently rubbed her tummy. she was relaxed and acted as if she liked it. She seemed as if she was resting. After a bit of running in and out with the other dogs I finally convinced her to get up on the sofa to rest a bit. She did. Scott came home and I had asked him to bring some Arby's sandwiches. The dogs love those sandwiches and Zoe acted as if she wanted one. So I gave her some really small pieces of meat and she ate it! We did this for a little bit and she went in to rest some more. After a couple hours she got up and Scott said she got sick out side. So now I don't know what to do. I just pray that she will make it till Tuesday so I can see if there is a SIMPLE solution to this issue or a confirmation to my greatest fears. Or if God sees it fit to take her home to just her pass in her sleep in the night. I will cry. I do that anyways.

I know this is NOTHING compared to what so many of you have gone through. I have not lost a parent, a sibling, or child, only my grandparents (you expect that) and then my dearest friend to cancer. That was hard! Very hard! Probably the hardest thing I have EVER been through in my life. Cathy was not suppose to die, she was young, and I was not ready to let her go either. I have a bad habit of withdrawing when I am in pain. This is no different. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to go anywhere, and I don't want to let go. I hate this part of life. I don't want this to happen. Why does it have to?

Zoe has been the best "dog" I have every had. Ten years ago I told Beth to go pick a dog out to take to college with her when she was going to go. She had said she was going to OU to study medicine and I wanted a big dog to go with her. Well she picked Zoe out and I fell in love with her. I sent Beth to school, UCO (University of Central Oklahoma in Edmond) not OU and she went WITHOUT Zoe. Zoe has brought me so much joy. I am not saying I would rather something happen to one of my kids, of course not, but I want to tell you this....not ONE time has Zoe ever asked for money, lied to me, got drunk, hurt me, betrayed me, wrote anything hateful, hurtful or a lie about me on facebook, she has never done anything to purposely make me mad and even when I am the most UNLOVABLE, she loves me. She is ALWAYS happy to see, loves it when I come home even if I was gone for only 30 minutes. She is funny, playful, loving, kind, loyal and the best thing that ever happened in my life. All I can do is tell her how much I LOVE her, and how much I appreciate all she has done for me in her life. How she has loved the grandkids, the DARE kids, the college students, the other guests in our home. How she has protected me from people who loved to see her play. I used to pick on my friend Mike and she would start flea biting ME. the only way to get her to stop was to tell her "cookie Zoe, cookie" and she would stop. It was so funny to see her get me instead of the person I was trying to "sic" her on. She would never hurt a flea, well, person. Her little nub still wiggles even though I know she doesn't feel good. She still puts her head in my hand and just lays there. She still looks at me with those eyes that say love is unconditional. They are not animals, SHE is my girl, my friend, my Momma Zoe. I am going to pray that she is going to be ok, I AM NOT READY TO LET HER GO.

This is for you Marge !

2010-04-26T21:16:00.010-05:00

First there was this really cute couple...

Oh they loved each other so much.

And they were happy.

They fell in love.......

And soon this little guy came along.

He was loved by his mother....
He is loved by his father.....

And loved by everything around him in his life!!!

They are one cute happy family.

who couldn't love this cute little face?

And who doesn't get tired of all these pictures?

Is it REALLY necessary?

Ahhh, and finally THE END....

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is Cade, he is my little cousin.

I have been photographing him since

he was born. Now he is turning ONE...

He was all smiles until I got the camera

ready and we put the cake down.

But he is so stinkin' cute it doesn't matter

if he smiles or not.

No one was hurt in the photographing of this

special event. No staging was necessary,

this little guy DESTROYED this cake

all on his own.

I had to laugh!!!

Part of my Weekend

2010-04-12T23:30:00.015-05:00

East Texas Archery

This weekend my son asked me to come watch

him and his wife during an archery tournament.

I didn't think I would be too excited, but I found it

to be a great experience. I met some of the nicest

people, never heard yes ma'am so much in my life.

You get there about 30-45 minutes early, sign in

and pay your money.....$15.00 per person I think.

This really does say "shooters sign up here"

but the "s" was often hidden by the curling of the sign...

You can guess the rest of that story.....caused a few good laughs.

Rules are explained by the Club President Kelly.

Super nice guy too!

Some arrows just waiting to be shot!
Walking off to the trails to shoot 3-D targets.

Can you get a feel for how big those trees are?
Oh I could sooo live right in the middle of all this.

Of course you must have restroom facilities.

Chase is TJ's new very good friend.

He works at Gander Mountain where TJ

spends a lot of his hard earned money!

Chase is an EXCELLENT shooter,

And a super fun guy to be around.

Next several shots are just different people.
There are women, men, kids, families, long bows,
hunting bows, tourney bows.....pretty bows
camouflaged bows, ugly bows, cheap bows, and EXPENSIVE
bows. This is one club that I think ANYONE
can be a part of.....you just have to make the time.
A lot of these people do NOT hunt, they just like the exercise and
being out of doors. All of them were extremely friendly.

Oh my gosh, this picture is pollen from the pine trees.

It is EVERYWHERE and nasty.

Checking and recording the scores of the team.

Bows with stabilizers sit on the side of the trial while

the other shooters take their shots.

Making a few clicks to adjust the sites for the next target.

Before the shot one checks for the distance to the target

and then after the shot one checks to see if they EVEN HIT IT!

This guy was messing with me....but honestly, it is

a long way down the ravine to check the score of your target.

Glad I was only shooting the camera! I stayed up on the trail.

Women shooters!

Father/daugther

frustrated!

FIVE YEARS OLD.....I am NOT kidding.

Some bring along a chair to use for resting while

marking their scores and waiting on the others

to shoot. There is usually about five members

per team.

Long bow

Sometimes help is needed and some people get frustrated.

she is a good shooter, just got a new bow and was upset.....

she will get it, it just takes time getting used to a new product.

Boy can I relate to that!!!!

This little guy was using the range finder to judge the distance.

While stylin' with his Mohawk!

He is a cutie!

Amanda getting ready to shoot at target no. 2.

She has some pretty good form going there!

TJ checking his mark.

and yes it was hot out there.

Just wait till July and August!

This is Tj's other new and good friend Scott.
He too is an EXCELLANT SHOOTER....Just like Chase

And he is a cutie too.

By the way....his dad was an L.A.P.D. officer

for 37 years.

I knew I liked this kid ....

yes, he too wants to become a cop.

And THIS is his wife......isn't she just a doll???

She teaches and coaches.......softball!!!!

So cute and so sweet.

These are just really good people.

AND FUN!!!

Then we went and ate Mexican food....oh yes, it was a

wonderful weekend!

Try More Easter Pics....Again

2010-04-04T22:01:00.009-05:00

Third Time is Charm!!!

I have tried three different times to post

some of my Easter pictures and keep getting

an error message....well that is because

I had it on the wrong setting!

Go Figure.

So here are some of my cuties from the last couple

weeks. Hope you enjoy the little sampling.

These are the twins whom I photographed at their birth,

remember? A year ago now....where does time go?

This is Cade whom I have been photographing

for his entire WHOLE life...

Ok, well at least the last 11 months!

Next month is the big "1" for him....

But until then, here are his Easter pictures.

Cade and his Momma!

Newest little client, Kinley!

Isn't she a doll?

Josie has been with me for a while now

and I thought it was so cute that her

momma got her outfit to match the rabbit!

Lakelyn loved Waffles...

Waffles was a big hit this Easter.

I think that is called Job Security!?

Lakelyn's big sister Shelby...

She loved the rabbit too.

Another new client Emily Kate and her momma.

Emily Kate and all her school work for the year.

She is only two...I thought this was a great

way to use her art work, her momma is so smart!

I have had a lot of fun this Easter taking pictures.

You know me....I just enjoy taking this moment

making it special and capturing it for the family.

That is what life is all about.

Seizing the moment.

Easter 2010

2010-03-17T19:11:00.006-05:00

Ok, How Cute are These !!!!

I will not need to explain ANY of these

pictures...as you will see they are

just precious of my grand children.

And our new addition to the family

WAFFLES!!!

Grandkids were here !!!!

2010-03-15T12:28:00.005-05:00

Our Precious Grandchildren.....

We were blessed to finally have the grand kids

after not seeing them for over two months. It is

amazing how much you miss out on in just two

short months....60 days....a lifetime it may seem.

Caleb is old enough to truly have a bond with us

and so looks forward with sharing our time and love.

We treasure each moment with him for they will

be gone all too soon. Soon they will be living

in an other state (military), he will become a

teenager, or just simply life itself.

So having time with the grandchildren, making memories

that will last a life time is incredibly important.

It is what Grandparents are all about after all...

Yes, we will spoil them, then send them home.

And it will be WAY too soon.

It is kind of nice to have a little wet weather creek in

our yard. It makes for some fun places to play.

And some fun places to take pictures.

Allie is so hard to photograph....

She will not hardly look at the camera

no matter how hard I try.

She definitely has a stubborn streak but

sometimes that in itself is fun to photograph.

You learn to take what you get and just

get what you can take!

Now just look at the expression this girl has!!!

This is my favorite picture of Caleb.

Caleb and his b.b.gun from Christmas.

He is learning the safety issues with it.

Of course Zoe is a major part of Caleb's life.

She is getting old too, so I treasure any picture with

her and Caleb that I get.

She certainly loves her boy.....she really does!

Playing on the bridge that they made with PaPa for Grandma

to take pictures with.....yes, it looks like it is doing a good job at that.

See how she just LOVES to have her picture taken...

This was just so much fun....

More to come.

(trust me!)

Random Pictures

2010-03-12T00:48:00.002-06:00

Class Project

I was at the Keystone Dam at about 8:00 one night

taking pictures for a class assignment. I thought

at first they weren't any good, but the more I look

at them I like them. It was a very still night as you can tell

by looking where the water and the dam meets. There is

such a nice reflection. Scott is always so willing to be my victim!

Poor guy....

If you can click on this picture and enlarge it,

I think it makes a very nice picture.

And this is my new camera and lens where I just ran
outside to take Rudy's picture. Just to see how the camera
worked. I had a hard time just finding the on/off button
Ha ha ha...but I found it, took his picture and this
is what I got. No adjustments, no nothin'.....
I think I am going to like this camera, just wait and see .

Three Postings In One Day....

2010-03-01T12:22:00.006-06:00

Let me Introduce to you my newest little cousin..

Ava Jillian

It's hard work being a model,

and after all that hard work.....it's time for a nap.

Nite Nite!

My family believes in arranged marriages....so one day soon you will be seeing pictures of Ava and Mr. Jingles' wedding. Then a little time later you will also get to see the new born pictures of their children. That is something to look forward to. But that will be a couple years down the road. Stay tuned! And if you want to see some other cute pictures, I have two other postings from today of sweet little girls turning ONE.

Another First Birthday Girl

2010-03-01T11:42:00.005-06:00

Here is another 1st birthday I had fun with.

Lakelyn is such a sweetheart.

Be sure and see the pictures of my other

1st birthday in the next posting. I have been busy lately.

Everybody is Turning ONE

2010-03-01T11:21:00.006-06:00

Here is a sweet birthday girl

Turning One is Fun!!!

She truly enjoyed her cake!

Best Birthday Present Ever~

2010-02-26T21:41:00.002-06:00

And It Wasn't Even MY Birthday!

Yesterday Scott and I had one of the nicest gifts ever. We had the opportunity to meet in PERSON one of my dear blogger friends. What a wonderful experience it was indeed. For a little over two years I have been blogging and hooked up with this person from up north. Found much in common, and much I,admire, and respect. So when I had the opportunity to meet her in person I was thrilled. But it didn't happen. We were going to meet up in Oklahoma City while they were on their way south to Texas but the weather was bad, and the cards just did not fall into place. For the next two months I just did the same ole thing, kept up with her via her blog and her beautiful pictures. Then we talked again and started making plans once again, scheming, emailing, conniving, and low and behold......they found their way north OUT of Texas and pulled their awesome big ole trailer into my driveway and were guest in my home. I got to meet ROAD SAGE.

Marge and Ernie were very tired from their driving so after all the hugs in the cold driveway, and telling the dogs to hush up so I could hear us talk, and smiles a mile long, we wandered into the living room to rest, and TALK. And talk we did. Marge....she just melted my heart. And Ernie reminds me sooo much of Scott. He is very quiet and let Marge and me chatter up a storm. Scott and him finally got to talk a bit and it was just so fun. After a couple hours I figured I needed to get dinner started and be a good hostess, not good to starve your guest. But I just wanted to savor every moment, I just did not want the time to pass, I willed it, I wished it, I demanded that time hold still for just a bit. I cherished my time. Marge and I fixed Tacos and kept the meal simple, I am glad for that, I am a very simple cook, but I feared they would not get enough to eat. So we ate tacos and tacos and more tacos with peach sherbet for dessert later. And we talked some more!

I so badly wished they could have stayed longer....I would love for us to have had two, three days, even a week. But not this trip. It is so fun to make new friends, and then to meet them in real life, to connect to this person for real, what a feeling. Let me see if I can share that feeling with you....Marge has beautiful white hair. (is that ok Marge to call it white?) She has a hug that makes you just melt into her arms and feel the warmth and love that one human being has for a family member. She does talk kind of funny, but I got used to the "accent" pretty quickly and could not get enough of her eyes that just seemed to smile all the time. Ernie...well he looked like he could be a little bit mischief. I think he could be one to watch out for. He too just has a look of happiness, and contentedness that is also very warming. Don't believe me??? Well let me tell you something.....my dogs never jumped up on these people, did NOT bark at Ernie when he came in the house this morning after going outside to walk and look around. The dogs settled down with our new guest as if they had been friends for years. And I believe dogs know more about people and their souls than we do. I believe dogs can read people 100 times better than us humans...and my dogs told me these were wonderful, calm, easy going, loving people....and they were right!!!!

It was Scott's birthday, I didn't tell them for I truly feared they would not come to our home or stay the night with us. I know that Marge would NEVER want to intrude or put us out. I was so honored to have her and Ernie in our home. Scott and I both feel we have truly met new friends, new friends for life. What a gift to receive on your birthday. What a gift indeed. Thanks Marge and Ernie for making a difference in our lives.

p.s. And Marge made me my very own purse....and it is gorgeous !!!! Maybe it WAS my birthday after all...

p.s.s. We both agreed in advance...no pictures of us for the blog...sorry girls.

Touching Story!!!

2010-02-12T07:28:00.002-06:00

I need to share this heart touching story for Valentine's Day.

Please get your tissue ready!

Homeless man

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in South East Oklahoma back-country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late.... and saw the funeral guy was evidently gone, and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left.... and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down. The vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace', the workers began to weep. They wept; I wept; we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and

started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet, I never seen nothin' like that before.... and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.."

Ok, I am sorry, but I shed a tear over this one and then at the end of course felt pretty silly. So I HAD to share this with all my friends hoping you too will get as much enjoyment from it as I did. Get a GOOD laugh out of it, enjoy the day and be thankful it was not us in that "vault"! When you get through blowing your nose, wiping your eyes, go over to Kim at Homesteader's Heart and get a good laugh with the other Friday Funnies there!

Some More Pictures

2010-02-10T10:35:00.004-06:00

Of Shae at Valentines

This heart accidentally stuck to her little tush when it fell

off the backdrop and she must have sat on it.

I sure thought it was funny!

Shae loves her Elmo friend, and he always makes her laugh

This one speaks for itself!

And then she wanted the heart off!!!!

When she was done....she was done.

Lovin' on her momma!

Little Cade at Nine Months!

2010-02-05T21:29:00.005-06:00

Little Cade wants to wish every one a happy Valentine's Day !!!

This handsome fellow is my cousin...I sure do think he is cute and he looks JUST like his daddy, sorry Kaylee. I have been taking his picture since he was born and it is so much fun. This was the best time with him yet. He is growing into so much personality and he was in a very good mood for nearly an hour! And when he was done...he was done. (honestly, so was I, I was tired! He wore me out!)

This jersey was worn by Cade's daddy who now coaches high school basketball in the same school he graduated from. I think that is pretty special.

Goodness Teresa, doesn't he look just like a little Daniel?

Kaylee always has such cute ideas to try, and this is exactly what she wanted!
This is my all time favorite of him!
He is just sooo handsome!

Cade and his favorite toy. Long as he had his toy....he was happy.

I had to get some tub shots....couldn't resist!

And he didn't seem to mind.

Long as he was standing outside the tub!

He would NOT sit down on this rug at all.

No, THIS has to be my favorite picture, look at that look on his face.

Priceless to me!

He was chewing on the horse and just as he let go

I got this picture....kind of funny in my opinion.

This kid LOVES his mommy...thank goodness the feeling is mutual!!

Physical Therapy

2010-01-29T00:29:00.002-06:00

It Hurts!

Well not much news on the ole...old shoulder. We had the MRI done a week or so ago and had good news. No rips, tears, or damage that could be seen....hip hip hooray.

It appears I will live. Well that is what I thought till I went to physical therapy. Oh my goodness. She appears to be fairly fresh out of college, very kind, funny, and professional. I like her. So we are hoping that with three weeks of therapy I will be better. I do think that the shoulder is already better tonight. Maybe a little more range of motion....Or is that wishful thinking so I won't have to keep going? Ha Ha Ha.

I was never so happy to see January 1st in all my life. I have been hurting so badly, very badly, BADLY since around October. I remember I was taking pictures of my precious grandchildren on Halloween day at my favorite place. Caleb is always so easy to do. I was helping him get up in a tree and something happened and I thought I was going to cry, drop him. or something or all of that. That was the first time I can remember it hurting so bad that I could not function for a bit. I had to just stop and regain my composure. Since I hardly ever go to the doctor I decided to tough it out till January and meet my $500.00 deductible then. I did not want to meet it in 2009 and turn around and have to do it again in 2010. I am all about the money!

My dad has had two frozen shoulders. There is some fancy name for it, but I don't remember it and probably could not spell it anyway! One shoulder was fixed with therapy and the other with surgery. I don't care which one I have....just get it fixed. It is so hard to continue taking pictures and working on photo shop with this shoulder so messed up. My range of motion is strictly limited.....the pain level goes from 0 to 10 in a blink of an eye. I can not hardly wash my hair, blow dry it, or even

shave my arm pit. that is disgusting isn't it. I manage, but it is not easy and I am NOT going to paint you a picture of it either. So I am going to do my therapy every day and work hard at getting this shoulder back to 100% asap!

We are suppose to be getting a huge, major snow storm. I was so ready. I did all the laundry, the dishes, fed the birds, had plenty of dog food and extra treats fixed. I had bought groceries, fixed food, brought in firewood to the patio, gassed up the car, we had the generator checked and ready to go. Scott made a couple extra trips to the grocery store when I realized I forgot something else again at the last minute. Even tonight in the middle of it all, he ran (drove) to Wal-Greens and picked up some movies from Red Box. That way if we can't get them back it is only a dollar each. But I think he will be able to return them. Do you know why I think that???? Because so far my dreams, my hopes have all been squashed. SQUASHED I tell you. I so was looking forward to some major weather. I was soooo ready for some major weather. And now all that effort is for not! Oh well, I will live through it! Maybe tonight more will come in. Maybe I will get some beautiful white stuff. The last time ww had some was just a month ago when the kids and grand kids were here for Christmas. We had a blast being snowed in. The grand kids played and played in the snow and I can tell you it was WONDERFUL. Wish they were here this weekend but that is not to happen. Maybe some day soon things will change and the grand kids can be here with their grandma and have some wonderful, well deserved, much needed, grandma and papa time. Grandparents play a very special role in a child's life and our time with Caleb and Allie is limited. They will be gone in about one and a half years. So not seeing them for a month has cheated them out of some very special time and memories for their lives. But some things are out of my control, and I respect that. I have no doubt they know I love them and they love me. We are family and that will not change. So tonight when you go to bed.....will you please say an extra prayer for Chris and Sarah and Caleb and Allie. They are all such a blessing in mine and Scott's life. We love them, we miss them and we pray that God will touch their hearts and realize how much they need us....and we need them! We are family.

Beyond My Control

2010-01-18T21:14:00.002-06:00

And Letting Go!!

OK, there is a big prayer going up that I find out this week about the job I interviewed for. I think I want it more than I have wanted anything in a very long time. But I have learned that it might be a difficult challenge. Oh wait....I worked for the Enid PD for nearly 22 years, can it really be any more difficult than that???? OK, that is just my humor showing off here? You know I loved my time with the PD. You know that working there I developed many skills in learning how to read people. Learning how to investigate lots of situations. I also have used my police skills in months past to help others in very critical situations that was a matter of keeping ones job or not. So being a police officer has been a wonderful way to spend my life and I sincerely have no regrets. NOT ONE.

I can honestly say as I grow older and deal with more and more experiences in life, that I am learning that pain is NEVER going to go away when it comes to disappointments. I also have learned that people are the same every where, that variable never changes. Locations, time and players may change, but life is pretty much the same regardless. One has to chose change in order for that to occur. And I chose change in my life. I'm glad that I have. I have always been one to stand on principals. I still do. I believe right is right and wrong is wrong. But I am also believe that we all make mistakes, we have the right to forgiveness, and we are going to make mistakes again. Know how I know???? Because darn it, it keeps happening to me. I also have learned that people are going to react how they want, people are going to read into things what ever they want, and people get mad because they want to. I am guilty of that. As I get older I try very hard to be upfront in life with people. It works for the most part. But sometimes life throws us a curve ball, a fast ball, puts a monkey wrench into the plans, etc. But I think what I have learned that affects me the most, is that I want what is best, what is good, for those I love. Sometimes those intentions are miss interpreted. Sometimes those intentions are not even wanted. But what I do know, that my heart is huge for people, no matter what the relationship to me. I have a LOVE for people. Sometimes my love, my passion, my desire and my innate right over wrong is not always a welcomed response. But I will not give up. I will not give in, and I will continue to always love those that are sometimes the hardest to love. That's who I am.

I feel this job may not be offered to me. And I am OK with that. That means there is somebody BETTER than me to do it. (well I hope so any ways!) Maybe I should say there is some one better for the job than me??? Yes, that sounds better. But I do know that no matter what the challenge, no matter what the issues, no matter what the personalities are....I will be determined to do what is right. I will be driven to be fair, to be responsible, to be honest, to listen, to speak softly, to be a good person no matter what the endeavor, or who I am dealing with. Kind of like how I feel about being a mother, or a step mother. It is full of challenges, some that cause pain, and many that bring joys beyond measure. So parenting, supervising, it is all the same from my perspective at this time. It is all about caring. And when one stops caring, then it is time for a change. Because it is all about caring, caring about others, about what I say, what I do, how that makes them feel. I am learning however I can not control how others feel. I can not control what others do. But I can control how I react,how I believe and how I can not lose who I am in the midst of it. I am God's child. I have not relied on Him much lately. Could do it myself. Didn't talk to Him much, I was in control. Man, why does it take a heart break, or a difficult situation to make us look towards Him for help? Because I am stubborn too, because I am wrong at times, because I fall short time after time , and because I am real. Because I love with all my heart, and I am sorry for when I disappoint. Whether it is my Heavenly Father, my own earthly parents, my daughter, my step-daughter, my son, their families, friends, co-workers, I fall short. I have failed. But I will try again, because I love.....and I am not a quitter.

I LOVE A GOOD CHALLENGE. (or, I love a GOD challenge!)

We will see what He has in store for me hopefully this week. Keep me in your prayers will you?

Happy New Year 2010

2010-01-02T00:07:00.002-06:00

Black Eye Peas

I had mine, did you have yours?

Well here we go, the start of another new year. Seems only like yesterday it was the beginning of 2009....not really, this has been a pretty long year to me. This year will be an interesting year. I will be turning 50 this year....I don't dread it, I look forward to having a big party and celebrating it in big style. And I do plan to make some big changes this year as well.

I am really hoping to get this job that I have applied for. I just feel so positive about it, I can see myself doing this job, and being really good at it. Now if I can just get an interview and convince them! But I also feel if it is meant to be then it will happen. I sometimes don't always know what is best for me and I tend to idealize things to make them fit into my perfect little dream world. But I have faith that if this job is good for me, if it is right for me AND if "I" am right for the job, then things will come to pass. I just will not worry about it. But I am going shopping for an outfit to interview in, I am getting an appointment to get my hair fixed, I have not had that done in MONTHS, and I am going to research, study and be ready when they call. Then if it does not happen, it will not because I was not ready or didn't try. So we will see, but I am so excited I can't hardly stand it. I just have a peace about this...honestly either way. I was not "looking" for a job, this one literally jumped out at me, and it just fits right into my passions in life. I did not want to go back to work, but this job to me sounds like I would be fine with going back to work, I already think about it and how it will be and how I want to do things with my time if I go back to work, and how the dogs will adjust to me being gone again. Poor babies! So we shall see.

My daughter has a JOB and she likes it! That is a good thing. After three months of a no paying job, and us paying her bills with no help from her father whatsoever, we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. She hated her life the way it was, and it was not from a lack of trying. No, she did not always make the best of choices. But she worked two jobs and got paid for neither of them. I have told her to file a complaint with the labor board, I researched it and they are wrong, they owe her the money and the labor board can/will take care of it. She just has to go there and do it. I have told her, I have fought with her, and I have cried over it.....it is no longer my problem. She is owed a LOT of money, I am paying nothing now, so it is up to her to right the wrong and to take care of things. She is very smart and I am an enabler. So now I am done. I have had a change of heart. Not that I don't love her, but now she will have to learn how to take care of things herself. She is very capable, and I need to let her. If she wants the money and wants to make things right with us, then she will do it, and if not, then there is NOTHING that I can do. I have all the faith in the world she will do it, when???? I don't know, she has had about three weeks to do it now, so when she gets desperate enough maybe she will. But I am done bugging her about it.

I have to learn that I can not control what everyone else does. Yes, their choices hurt others.....ME....but it is not all about me. Sometimes I will just have to hurt. Sometimes I don't understand why some people make the choices they make....and it makes me cry for I can see what the outcome is going to be. But I have to learn to let them make their own choices. That is where I am going to try to grow this year. I need to write in a journal, or read a self help book and learn how to let go of things. I am very concerned about my family and choices that are being made. I fear what the outcome of the future will hold and it is going to affect the children, us as parents, and of course friends. But it is not MY decision. I have talked till I am blue in the face yet the behavior continues knowing how her family feels and that it might in fact become a deal breaker. But it is not MY decision. Yes, I have said it before and will say it again, for I have to live that now.

My other family member is going to see changes in me too. Why is it that we tend to want to live our children's lives? I have decided a relationship has to be worked at by both parties. If one party does not work at it, then no matter how hard I try it will just not grow or flourish. I have tried for the past few years and it is just getting no where. I have no idea why, I have asked, I have tried to communicate, I have gone the extra mile to make things work and I hit a brick wall each time. So if that person does not want a relationship with me I need to just let it go. Does it hurt??? Yes it does....very much . More than I ever dreamed possible. I am such a people person, a people pleaser. But when it comes to the fact that I can not please no matter how hard I try, then I need to let it go. And 2010 is going to see just that. Maybe with time, and a little maturing things might change, I don't know. I would love it, don't see that happening, but you know what, I am ok with that. Will I stop loving my family? No, of course not, but I will not chase a relationship that is not respected on both sides.

Do you see my heart? Do you see where I am focusing myself? I am deciding to work with/towards things that I can change, or help or affect. I am going to let go of the dead weight, it is drowning me. My dear dear cousin whom I love as a sister...no, I love her as a dear dear friend, told me just the other day, she said, Lisa (that's what she calls me!) you have to let this...(stuff)........go. It is killing you and I don't want to see that. It is really killing you. I was having a very bad day. I called her crying which I just don't do that often, I am not a big crier. But I was having a REALLY bad day. And she talked with me for a long time, she spent her time showing me that the choices that "I" was making was not good, not healthy, and she did not want to lose me as her cousin. I thought about that and felt good to have that love shown and expressed to me and to make me see that "I" have to change. Well there is no better time to change than with a new year. So 2010, I plan to affect change. I have Dr. Appointments already scheduled, let's get this shoulder fixed, and then will go get all those "girl" appointments done, and really start working on getting this weight off. I have a 60th Wedding Anniversary to help with the end of July and I want to be able to take the pictures with no pain. I can do this. And I have already started. So 2010, turning 50, making changes, getting a new job, helping children, helping those that want my help, that is what this year, this new decade is going to be all about. Can I do it......you bet I can. Stay Tuned To See. I love a good challenge.

HAPPY NEW YEAR....look out world, here I come.

Happy New Year....

2009-12-31T00:17:00.000-06:00

Well Almost!

Hello everyone, hope you are all doing fine. I have survived a very hectic Christmas that did not turn out as I had hoped, but you know, life is full of surprises. I have decided that people really do whatever "their" priorities are and that is about it. Getting together any more is just if people really want to, if it does not put them out too much. I can remember as a young girl we went to my grandma/pa B's house every Christmas eve. It was grandpa's birthday. I can remember one night my aunt D.A. got me my very own birthstone ring. I still have that ring. I was not very old, I bet about 8 or nine years old at the most. I loved that ring. We would get together with all our cousins and I was the second oldest. We would run around the house playing and I bet we drove the adults crazy, but it was sure good times. Then the next day we would get up early and open our gifts at our own house. Then later in the afternoon we would drive the short distance to my dad's parents house. Oh how I loved my grandma and grandpa. Grandma was my step grandma, but I never saw her that way. My real grandmother passed away when I was only three. Grandma J WAS my grandma. I can remember a big table full of food in the dining room of their little home and us kids eating in the kitchen. But it didn't matter, we weren't in there very long. Again, we would get up and go play. We did not see our cousins very often and we loved getting together any time we could. And again, I seem to remember doing things that caused us to get in trouble. Like playing in the basement that was not made for us to play in, and running all around. But you know, I do not have any memory of any adult "yelling" at us to quit or to be quiet. I only remember good times. I remember sitting in the living room and we would open our present. But the best gift of all was playing with all the cousins.
It seems we don't do that any more. Seems we don't get together very often at all. Seems we are all so busy that life just passes us by and we don't have that family time like we used to. That bothers me. Maybe it is because I am the "middle child", the peace maker, the people pleaser. But what ever the reason is, I miss it. I miss the fact that my kids and their cousins will not have grown up spending much time together. I hope they have good memories though. I did not get to spend much time with all my cousins, but when we got together it was ALWAYS so much fun. Jumping on the bed in nothing but our underwear....I so remember that. Riding horses and falling off, going out in the woods playing in the creek when we were told not to, or holding firecrackers in our hands and throwing them. And getting hurt! But those were the good times. Running and laughing, dreaming of things to do, thinking of ways to get around the things we were told NOT to do. Sometimes getting caught, sometimes we didn't. Sometimes we got hurt, sometimes we got lucky. I remember those days as if they were only yesterday and it truly brings a smile to my face. Now we are older and just don't seem to make the time to make those memories any more. I wish my family on both sides were closer to each other, but that's just it, we are not close in spirit or distance and that makes a difference. Distance does make it hard and I accept that. But I also know my own family all lives right here and we don't get together very often at all. And the holidays are about the only time I hear from them. I miss my family. I miss the dream of moving back home and having the quality time with my brothers and their families. I miss the dream of things being different than they are. So will we get together for the New Year? I doubt it. We didn't get together for Christmas, so I doubt that we will do anything for the New Year. I hope it is a good year. This one has been pretty tough on me. I am not complaining, for I truly believe that God is in control. Sometimes that is a little difficult for me, I am such...SUCH a controlling person, but I do believe He is in control.
I am hoping to get a job this year. I have one in mind that I am waiting for an interview. Don't know that I will get one, but I hope they at least call me. I think I am "perfect" for the job, but we will see what is in store. I am hoping that my kind heart does not come back and bite my in the back side. I am referring to the renter that has not paid rent for almost three months now. Hope that if he moves out he does not destroy my house. I hope we can sell the little home and get rid of that extra payment. Never dreamed when we retired that finances would be so tough. Never dreamed I would be taking care of so many people in need. I have to keep my chin up and my spirits up. That is the right thing to do. Sometimes it is a little hard, but it is still the right thing.
So as I look back over this past year, yes, I am glad it is over. I look forward to 2010 and hope it brings a change of things in my life. I hope to become a better person for this world. I hope to leave my mark on it in just a way that is pleasing to God and to this community. I hope that my health changes a bit and I work on being healthier. I hope that I am blessed to keep taking pictures of my new and old friends. So here is to the new year. If you are out celebrating please be careful. And if you are staying in to celebrate, have fun and remember something good of this past year. I am well, I am healthy, and I am blessed in many ways. 2010 will be a very good year.

Some Pictures

2009-12-12T09:49:00.014-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-22T21:09:00.007-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am leaving in the morning to keep the grand kids for a couple days. My son-n-law and daughter have to travel to the City to attend a mandatory Banquet for his Navy duties. We were surprised they were doing this the week of Thanksgiving with the kids still in school. But it is what it is. I am so proud of Chris. He has been one of the top recruiters in this area since he was transferred here. We are so very proud of him. Not everyone can do recruiting and here he has just done a tremendous job outdoing so many all across this nation. I am ....WE are so very proud of him. So I do not mind leaving my home right here before Thanksgiving to go keep the kids. We will be fine.

If you have not heard, my dad and brother had an accident of sots this past week. Mike was trying to secure a tree stand for deer hunting. He was testing out the ladder from what I understand and found that it was NOT secured. He has hunted all his life and has never had an accident. He teachers hunter safety courses, he is very careful, very professional and we don't know what happened. But the ladder collapsed. He feel 10-13 feet, he was not all the way up to the tree stand, and the ladder came lose and hit my dad in the head. Dad was not knocked out believe it or not, and Mike was hurt by landing on his back. But it did not break any bones. Mike was finally able to get up and saw my dad was hurt so they made it back to the truck where Mike drove them to his house. Now understand he lives WAY out in the sticks. So he called my uncle who came to rush them to Urgent Care. That is a lot closer than the hospital and honestly, probably quicker and easier. They were treated, x-rayed, cleaned up and drugged up and then told to go home. Dad went back a couple days later to have a follow up and really is feeling fine. Mike has been really hurting with his back, but I think he is going to live. Sucks to get old, and really sucks to fall out of a tree while you are getting old. Sorry Mike, but the truth sometimes hurts too!

Here is dad at Urgent Care:
Dad the next day:

And Dad a couple days later:
I didn't get a picture of him today. But you would not believe how much better he looks. I just love all the color on his face. Ha Ha Ha...Halloween is over dad, you missed it by about three weeks!!!! What do you get when you cross a raccoon with Frankenstein???? My DAD !!!

I had planned to cook Thanksgiving for Beth and her friends. Don't know if that is going to be the plan now or not. I am tired. I am not sure if her friends are going to show up, and honestly, I would rather have dinner than lunch. So I think I will fix dinner here and if she wants to come over then fine. I love....LOVE getting up and watching the Macy Day Thanksgiving Day Parade. It seems that since the noon meal comes at NOON, it takes all morning to cook and get everything ready. I think this way, I can get up, take my time, and just have dinner. My son is hunting these past few days with his dad a couple hours away and I had hoped he would come over on his way home to see me. But I guess that is not to be the case. It is so hard having him live so far away. I know that it could be worse, but I so miss him. He,being all guy, just doesn't understand how that feels...but then again, he isn't a momma now is he? So he may NEVER understand those feelings..ha .

I am planning on doing some Black Friday shopping. I always have enjoyed doing my shopping then. But that was also when I had money. I will tell you this retirement stuff is just not paying the bills. We have always been so blessed, and plus I worked three job (my choice and my love ) so now it is sure different. Plus having to help my daughter who still does not have a paying job, pay her bills plus ours and now the renter has not been able to pay his rent. Good grief. I can NOT support three people. I am even paying his electric bill because he was suppose to change it over this month and that has not happened. He has three young girls, their mother left them, (she has an alcohol problem) and he has been in the hospital with pneumonia. I feel very sorry for him, but I just can't pay his bills too. Know what I mean. Life is sometimes very complicated. But I also feel it is the "right" thing to do by helping this man who is trying very hard to take care of his girls. He is renting Beth's old house for his dad and mom live next door. They were always very good neighbors to my daughter so I am trying to return the favor. So if you are saying a prayer today, would you please include my family and that maybe things will settle down a bit.

Now for a bit more sad news. My mom's brother (yes, my uncle) is not well. He is diabetic and has about everything wrong with him that you can have. He is refusing treatment and the doctor says he won't make it another six months. He is refusing dialysis so I am guessing it won't take a very long time before the toxins will build up in his body and things will shut down. He is about 71 or 72 and has been in ill health for quite some time. I feel badly for my mom for she has lost all of her family except for him. I know it is a part of life and she does too, but it still will not be "easy" to go through.

Ok, enough of all that. I am looking forward to making some pies, cooking a ham and a turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, dressing, a couple salads, and of course pumpkin and pecan pie. That is enough. I don't feel the need to make a hundred different dishes and especially if I am not feeding an army. I just want to have a quiet, peaceful, relaxing, low key Thanksgiving and be thankful that we can!

Have a great one and I will talk to you all soon......but if not....have a wonderful holiday and be safe.

Love to all my friends,

Lisa

The Twins are 7 Mo

2009-11-12T16:53:00.009-06:00

Remember the Boys?

This is my niece Amanda and her husband Jack...

they are the parents of the adorable twin boys.

I was THRILLED to be able to take pictures of them.

This rocking chair is 25 years old and is like

the chair their mother had.

I think this is Xavier....

And this one is Zachery!

Of course we had to throw in some Christmas

pictures too.

"Who needs Santa when I have GRANDMA"

ummm yes!

These little shoes are extremely special.

They come from the Great grandparents. We had

these for our kids too...any one else ever have them?

I just love the name and date of birth on the soles.

So each boy has his picture with his shoes!

Now we had to do the...

rub a dub dub,

two boys in the tub

and who just might they be?

Xavier John and little Zach a ry !!

(ok spelling not correct, but syllables are what count there!)

And I am not going to go any further with that rhyme!

Jack and Amanda are huge Pittsburg Steeler Fans

And I thought these pictures turned out so cute!!!

This is probably my favorite!

Oh it is so good to have family and to be able to

take their pictures!

Thanks for driving from Norman to let me play with the kids!

Jossie in the Fall

2009-11-05T09:34:00.005-06:00

Repeat Customers!!

Gina and her family, Jeff and Jossie

have been customers for about a year now.

I am glad to have the opportunity to

photograph this family.

The railroad tracks was one place Gina wanted to go

and it is one of my favorite places.

It just so much represents life in my opinion.

Jossie is a very bright two year old

and talks up a storm. Very plain too.

They are such a fun family.

And Jossie....well two year olds have
their own minds and opinions.

And sooooo much expression.

Just look at those BEAUTIFUL blue eyes.

She is a shy young lady, but played peek a boo

behind the fire hydrant.

Then she warmed up to me and we played in the leaves!

This was my first photo shoot without my

husband. He was sleeping after working

himself nearly to death.

I think his job should be to just help me!!

I really do appreciate all he does.

Thank you Scott.

Kaylee and Her Family

2009-10-25T23:19:00.005-05:00

Kaylee Brimmer and her fam.

Kaylee and Daniel have let me take pictures

of their precious baby since he has been born.

Now we get to include her mother and brother!!

Kaylee, Daniel and Cade taking a stroll.

More family pictures.

The foliage is just getting so pretty.

Kaylee's mom and her brother,

such a sweet picture.

This guy was so fun. Most teenagers

have "attitude", this guy was

willing to do anything and

never complained.

He even posed with his sister!

And posed with his mom!

They also brought Cades' Halloween costume.

He is a tiger!

He is just such a cute baby, and looks just like

his daddy and his grandpa.

I loved this picture, just look at the colors.

Almost can't see the little critter.

And then one last family picture.

For such a cloudy, overcast, drizzly day

it all turned out great.

What A Day

2009-10-24T18:51:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's birthday. I am very blessed to have both my parents still alive and even most my aunts and uncles. I am very blessed! So today my mom decided after my nephews soccer game that we should go eat bar-b-q. One of my cousins and her family has opened a restaurant serving smoked meats and bar-b-q ; we called them and asked if we could run down there to eat. Of course they said yes. They have only been opened about 10 days, maybe two weeks, so I guess we gave them a real test! I stopped by Wal-mart and got some cheesecake and red velvet cake for his birthday dessert. (my choice since I was buying!) My brother and his wife came by, and my moms brother, wife, daughter in law, grandson, and another couple cousins all at the last minute were able to come. My mom's brother is in pretty bad health and it is his daughter who opened the restaurant so it was very nice that he was able to come eat with us and see his family. So for a last minute thrown together get together it was nice. We enjoyed visiting, we enjoyed some really good food, and then we went home to watch football. Yes, we are die hard OU fans so we had to get home in time to watch the game. OU won, so that was good too.

This morning my nephew had a soccer game and my mom won't miss a game for love nor money. My niece and nephew are young and my mom says she won't be around to watch them grow up like she has the other grand kids. That is probably true. I love going to games with them and just watching them grow up. Tori asked me today if I would come watch her play basket ball and take pictures. I told her I would love to. She just grinned. She loves her Aunt Lisa, and I love her. This is what I wanted in life when I retired. To be able to go watch the kids play.

It sounds like Scott might be getting a job. Next week he may start some training before being released out on his own. He will drive a semi for Panera Bread. If you don't have a Panera Bread store, oh my goodness, so sorry. But I so love their food...their soups, and fruit, and sandwiches. It is a very tasteful place to eat...just kind of expensive. He is really hoping this works out and has been very dedicated to getting all the paperwork in, the meetings met, the this and thats done, so we will see. The pay is pretty good, but the hours are terrible. He has to be at work at 12:30 a.m. to check his truck and heading out the gate by 1:00. But he should be home around 12:30 or 1:00 in the afternoon. I think those hours stink, but luckily they are for three days one week and four days the next. He will have the same days off all the time and it is the end of the week so we will still have time to go see TJ in Texas on his days off, we can still have the grand kids, and we can still go travel if we want. The benefits seem to be pretty good too. But more than anything is he is excited about the job. That is wonderful for him to be excited about working again. I hope this all goes well, and maybe things will change a little around here. Of course I have these dreams that maybe we could buy a different house that is bigger and has a shop. But we will have to take it all one day at a time. I just will take it slow and see how it goes and enjoy the fact that my husband is willing to go back to work to make our lives a little more enjoyable. And this way we don't have to touch the retirement money. Save that for our later years.

So there is the update on our lives. I hope to take some soccer pictures and maybe sell them, and maybe start taking some Christmas pictures, and maybe just try to start taking more pictures. Who knows, maybe someday I will even make some money!!! ha ha ha, yeah right. I just love taking them.

It has been a really good day.

Taylor is 12!!

2009-10-20T14:35:00.005-05:00

Taylor is 12

Happy Birthday!

And he came to see me so I could take his picture....

His grandma came too....he loves his grandma.

He also has a really good sense of humor.

Do you know these plants are called Elephant Ears?

And Orange is a good color for him...

He likes OSU

Go Pokes!

His momma Patty is a dear friend of mine from the

Enid Police Dept.

Again, how much fun are they?

(I love this picture, maybe even my favorite)

Patty and Taylor

Truly love each other...

In the years to come these pictures
will mean the world to them.
correction....him
They already mean the world
to Patty.

And this one......
I just love it too.

Patty's dad passed away about two years ago
in a very tragic accident while working
cattle. But his wife has continued on and is
one tremendous lady. So strong in many ways.
I was very thankful that Patty
was willing to drive two hours
to do these pictures and she talked her
mom into coming at the last minute.
It was a very good day.

My Son In Law

2009-10-19T23:21:00.002-05:00

Our Navy Man

One day Chris was having to make a meeting

in my area and stopped by afterwards.

I love his new uniform so I asked him

to let me take his picture.

He said OK...he is such a good son in law!

But during me taking a few shots....
the phone rings, duty calls and he had to go.
Oh well, it was good to see him
even if it were for a very short time.

Been Sick, Leaving Town~

2009-10-04T22:29:00.002-05:00

Gotta Go!

Don't know if it is a smart thing or not, but we are leaving town in the morning. My daughter and my cousin will split taking care of the house and the dogs. Thank goodness now I have a little more help. We are going back to Branson to spend three days with Scott's siblings. I am very excited to have time with them and them alone. Not that I don't LOVE seeing all the nieces and nephews (who are actually closer to my age!) but this will be really good quality time to spend with these special people in Scott's life.

I have had the flu. I am betting it is the H1N1 flu, maybe not, but I would be willing to bet the rent it is. This has been very painful, and I am still not recovered, but feel good enough to go somewhere else to rest!!! If you get the chance to get the shot...DO IT! This has really been a painful flu, I don't like throwing up, but I think this one has been more painful than that. The "stuff" went straight to the chest, and I coughed my head off. Then the throat was so sore I thought I had gotten strep throat. Now my ribs, back and body hurt very badly. I had to take a pain pill last night just to try and make it through the night. I don't do that...I am just not a pill taker, but I am telling you all, I was hurting so bad, I just had to have some relief. This afternoon I hit the turn around point and started feeling better. I am sooooo thankful. We have had these plans for a couple months to to Branson, so I am really looking forward to it. I called Scott's two brothers and told them I have been sick and asked them if they were afraid of me, both families said no. So I gave them fair warning!!!! I love my husband's family! I really did not want to miss this, so I am glad they are letting me come regardless if they are scared of me or not!!! ha ha ha. I am going to take the camera, and just relax for the next three days. I just hope my daughter comes through for me and my dogs. Check in on her will you?

OH MY GOSH....there is a new "thing" called BLOW. It comes with a mirror, maybe even the razor blade, to cut it up, and then you add it to water. Equal to two Red bulls, and three cups of coffee. I am furious. I am sick to death that this country lets idiots put this stuff out for our kids to enjoy in the name of free market and enterprise. There are no morals left I tell you. And of course the people they interviewed thought it was so funny....some of them were adults. You might be able to find out more about this "product" at www.iloveblow.com not sure, but I think that is what was on the news. I just can't believe it. It is packaged just like cocaine...can you believe that???? Ok, I have got to go.....I have got to get to bed so I can get up in the morning and pack.....yep, I have not done that yet.

She's Here!

2009-09-27T21:55:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Tulsa

I can not tell you how relieved I am that Beth is finally moved to Tulsa. Her house is so cute, it is fixed up very nicely. I think (hope) she will be happy here. I have to come to grips with the fact that I can not control her happiness, but I want it so badly. I have such hopes for us to spend time together. I have such high hopes that good things will come into her life. We have started that path by getting her here near family that loves her without measure. Now we have to pray that she finds a job that provides her with enough means to support herself here. And to meet good friends. She is a social butterfly. She has ALWAYS enjoyed socializing as many last born do. She loves to laugh, and have fun. She has a heart as big as Dallas and would do anything for her friends. I admire that about her. And even in all of her strength, she still at times can be unsure. She is such a control person and when she does not have everything within her control it makes her uneasy. She has not lived at home in seven years. She still does not live at home, but she is at least close to home. I am so excited.

At twenty five, she has so much going for her. She is so smart, and talented. She is pretty, and very strong willed. She is outgoing, and confident. I am very lucky to be her mom, and yet I also want to take credit for making her partly what she is. She has had some very bad breaks in life, made some bad choices, and doesn't always listen. But I wouldn't trade her for anyone or anything. She has so much to offer this world. It is amazing to me how much love we have for our children. Even as they grow into adulthood, we still see them as our "kids". And it also amazes me how much love I have for so many people. My step-daughter ( I hate that word), and her husband and her two children...I just love them so much. I don't think I could love two kids any more if I had given birth to them myself. How is it that our heart just keeps growing and producing love....never running out of that feeling? How is that possible?

How is it we can love our parents, love our dogs, love our food, and love our kids never running out of love? How is it that some people don't know love? Don't feel loved, don't love in return? How is that possible? Hmmmm??? I wonder why I am contemplating so much about love now? Well it might be because I have not posted in a while, could be because I am REALLY REALLY tired and getting ready to go to bed, could be I am just in one of those moods. But when all is said and done, as this sun set today.....my heart was filled with love for my youngest. We had a really good day. And today, she just came up and hugged me....Oh yes, my love bucket was FULL.

Rachel J and her boyfriend

2009-09-20T13:47:00.004-05:00

Rachel and Bobby

My niece graduated from high school this past May and I had yet to get her a graduation gift. I knew what I wanted to give her, but making it happen was another thing. Yesterday it all came together. We spent several hours with Rachel and Bobby, enjoying the time together. We are very happy that we were allowed the opportunity to get to know Bobby and "check him out" to make sure Rachel was with a good guy. He passed the test. With flying colors I might add. Bobby is studying Ag Ed at OSU and was just flat fun to talk to and be with. I see why Rachel might like him a little bit.

We went to downtown Sapulpa to take a couple shots

and they really liked the alley pictures.
Then the next stop was the train tracks.
I just love what the tracks represent.
LIFE

They wanted some pictures to give as gifts
and I have to think this is a nice one.
They liked it too!

They are a cute couple.

Just look at the shine on the tracks...

Another alley shot.

The sun soon set on our photo shoot,

we had plenty of fun

and got some

cute

shots!

Happy Trails to you!

Let's Play Catch Up

2009-09-13T19:04:00.002-05:00

Beth is moved!

We have finally got my daughter Beth moved to the Tulsa area. I am so glad to get her here. She still is going back and forth to OKC, but before long that won't have to happen. She has had a couple really good job interviews and I am confident she will have a great job by this next week. She has to finish up a couple things at her current work before she can finally be here full time, but so far that has not been a problem.

This move has not been easy. She has a lot of "stuff" and moving it from her little home to this bigger home, one wonders, how in the world did it all fit!!!???? But slowly, box by box, she is getting unpacked and settling in. We have had a couple crisis' and they were scary at the time. Funny now, but certainly not then. Before she moved here she had a dream "nightmare" that she had moved. She was going to let her dogs outside to do their business and a rabid skunk attacked her. She had a golf club to beat it off with and she said the dream was just so real. We laughed about it till she called me early the first morning after she moved in. She called me in a panic about a "creature" in the yard. I could hear the tension, the near panic in her voice and I asked her what it was. She said "mom, I don't know, but it is huge, brown and looks like a beaver with out a tail." She said it ran under the shed and was just watching her with its beady little eyes. She feared it was going to attack her and the dogs. She was able to get the dogs away but the critter would not leave. I quickly called me dad and he said he was not going, so Scott got up and got his shotgun to go see what was trespassing into her yard. We had tried to guess what this thing was to no avail. She kept it in sight and waited for Scott to arrive at her home armed to removed the threat. But as Scott was pulling into the drive way she said the thing kind of galloped off into the "pasture" behind the house. The house that she lives on has three acres but is kept nicely mowed. There is a dry creek bed that runs through it but the place is all fenced.

Scott arrives and Beth decides she does not want him to shoot the thing. He is kind of cute. I have now called the police department and was advised we are in the city limits, well that means he probably should not be shooting a shotgun at it. And then we decide, we don't know what it is so we better not shoot it since who knows, it could be an endangered animal or something. Scott was not convinced, but I just could not stand the thought of him shooting something for just no reason. It did not attack the dogs, it merely ran under the shed. It was NOT a skunk so the danger of being sprayed with that HORRIBLE odor was not a threat. Scott said he just did not know what it was. I don't know how we determined, but it was an Oklahoma Ground Hog....or a Wood Chuck. I looked it up on the computer and described it to Beth over the phone and she said yes, yes, that is what it is. And this little guy can move 700 pounds of dirt in one night making his home. 700 POUNDS. That is a lot of dirt. They make a tunnel of about 35-40 feet with two chambers. One to sleep in and the other one......to poop in. and when it is full of poop they seal it off and make another one. pretty smart animal if you ask me!!!! So the little guy got to live to see another day. And we have not seen him again.

This weekend, I was just worn out. Oh my goodness I am so tired. I have been staying at Beth's house to take care of her dogs who just don't understand why Beth is gone and why they are stuck there. I am very loving to her dogs, but they just don't want me. They want Beth. Beth gets home Friday and stays there by herself. I am thinking this will be good to sleep in my bed, etc. I am so looking forward to sleeping in the next day. oh yes, you already see this one coming don't you? Of course it happens....she calls the next morning in a horrible panic and yells at me that her dogs are gone. They got out of the yard and are gone. I slam the phone, run into the bedroom and yell at Scott to get up and dressed that Beth's dogs are gone. (I was actually already up, just not around!) I throw some clothes on and drove to her house and she tells me she finds them. Thank goodness they did not get hit by a car or run far away. We go to McDonald's for some breakfast and then to Wal-mart to buy dog tags for Daisy and Jack. Good grief this is stressful.

But really life is good. In the last couple months I have seen my son two times and that is just awesome. We went to a Texas Rangers baseball game and had a WONDERFUL time. I miss him. He is a great son but life is so busy now and he does live about five hours away so any chance I get to see him I will take it. He has not been home in about a year and a half so I know my family misses him as well. The next visit was the OU game in Dallas. His wife decided at the last minute to not go. I had hoped that Beth could go and spend some time with her brother. She really misses him, they had been close growing up and it seems now they just don't have the chance to be as close as they once were. And of course girls value those relationships differently than guys do in my opinion. (just my opinion, but it is my blog!) Well darn it, Beth got sick and could not even hardly talk. She calls me and asks me to go instead. I told her no, we were coming to move her here and she tells me she just can't go. She feels terrible.....I pack my bags and go. I have about one hour before i have to go. But I do it and make it to Dallas in plenty of time. We once again had a wonderful time. Just the two of us, like old times. We went to the game, ate at the stadium (boy was that expensive) and talked about all the OU players. Of course it was not a good outcome, but it was a great time to see my son, my friend.

After staying the night I drove to OKC and helped to pack my daughter's house to move her. She had a girl friend there helping and that was all the help we had. Poor Scott. I have never been so thankful in all my life to have such a wonderful and selfLESS husband as Scott. He worked himself into the ground moving Beth here. it was hot, heavy, and horrible but he did it all. He got to the Tulsa area and then had to unload everything too. Good grief. Luckily my parents showed up and my younger brother showed up just in time to help the last bit. Scott was very grateful. I was still at the other house cleaning it. We have renters needing to move in and I was not going to go back there again any time soon. And that brings us back to now.

Monday is the unveiling of the photographs that is called The Waiting Child Heart Gallery. Fifty photographers in Oklahoma were asked to take pictures of children waiting to be adopted. These children are not the young babies, cute little kids that everyone wants. These are the older, harder to adopt children that need, want and DESIRE a home....a family of their own. They didn't ask for this life but it is what they were dealt. I am so honored to be a part of this. The photographs will travel around the state of Oklahoma all this next year staying at malls and churches for 30 days at a time except for here at the beginning. We start of the Jenks Aquarium, then the Tulsa State Fair and maybe even Octoberfest. Then it will go to the big malls in Tulsa for the Christmas seasons. It will even be in my home town in February, I hope some of my friends will see it. Home town being Enid, where I retired from.

Ok, enough of this. I have not even posted pictures of our trip to Branson, or times with grandkids lately. But that will have to come another time. I hope you are all doing well....until next time, see ya!

Mr Fussy Pants

2009-08-24T09:57:00.004-05:00

But You Can't Tell It Here!

Cade is now 3 Months

Cade and his momma Kaylee playing.

Trying to make him smile.

Cade and Daniel

Ok, this little guy just wanted to go to bed,

so we had to stop the photoshoot.

We will reschedule later, but honestly

can you even tell he was cranky?

He is so cute and so sweet.

Oh you know he is my cousin right?

It runs in the family you know!

Carla's Family

2009-08-23T11:18:00.003-05:00

Carla and Jason

Sawyer and Parker

and

ALEXIS

Carla is BEAUTIFUL....

can not wait to see what this baby is

going to look like.

But look at her brothers, they are adorable

so you know she is going to be gorgeous.

I asked " Is the baby talking?"

Sawyer said I heard something...

"gurgle gurgle gurgle" (noises he made)

I busted up laughing....sorry

cause I think he was really serious!

Too cute. Look at his face, he is listening

so intensely.

Daddy playing with a doll....more of that to come Jason!

hmmmmm????
I felt her momma.

Alexis is due in about three weeks !!!!
Carla's three favorite men.

Sawyer is going to be a big help to momma.

This is Parker...he is sooo cute.

Whatever his big brother did...HE did it to.

Congratulations to this family.

Hope they had fun like I did.

Carla, you have 138 pictures to choose from!!!!

Caleb Turned 8 !!!

2009-08-02T21:49:00.007-05:00

Happy Birthday Grandson!

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday dear Caleb...

Happy birthday to you.

Eight years old...where has the time gone?

His mom and dad bought him a set of golf clubs...

They have determined he probably won't be

a football player so why not try golf?

He at least looks cute with his clubs.

While he was here he helped grandpa build me
a new picture prop.....

That nail gun is nearly as big as he is.

Yes, they built me a bridge.....

Rudy tried it out for me.....

This week I get the grandkids again....

I plan on taking Caleb's 8 year old pictures on the new bridge.

We are going to Branson for a couple days .

We decided instead of getting him a gift wrapped gift that

would not last very long, we would take him on a nice vacation.

We have to take his sister too, but that is ok (grandma doesn't mind!)

So I hope to have some nice pictures to share with you after we get back.

And I rest up a bit!!!!!

Have a great week everyone.

I've Been Taking Pictures!

2009-07-27T11:40:00.017-05:00

This is just some of what I have been doing....

Enjoy the next three sets of new clients!!!

First.....Dane

Yes, I am TWO....want to make something of it?

This precious little boy is my cousin's

grandson. He looks just like his daddy

but I don't have a picture of Blake.

I laughed at him so much, I put his hat on

backwards and he didn't like that.

So he put it back on himself with that sideways look.

Isn't he just sooo cute?

And he LOVED riding the bike.

But these are some of my favorite pictures!!

I had a shower bonnet for him to wear....

oh no way was THAT going to happen.

This is our laying at out the pool look.

And the little swimsuit model.

I don't know why he did the splits....because he can???

And Tonka Trucks....boys love trucks.

He is just too cute!

Happy 2nd Birthday Dane!

Now on to my second set of pictures:

I took Tyler's family pictures a year or two ago..

Tyler and his dad Todd.

Now I am doing a new family picture.
Introducing:

Coleman Shane Russell

This little guy was not even four weeks old when

the pictures were taken.

Wide awake, holds his head up and full of expressions!

Isn't this such cute family?

He is "thisssssss" big in his daddy's hand.

Coleman's momma making a sweet face at him for fussing !

Coleman's family are OSU fans.

I can still love them for that!

Another new client:

This family are friends that provided me

with my Zoe....and Zoe's puppies.

So they are like family to me.

This little girl is their "adopted" grand-daughter Taylor.

Tabitha, Scott and little Taylor.

She loves her Pa-Pa's whiskers !

Taylor is eight months old.

I actually had another session but her parents

are not comfortable with me posting them at this time.

But trust me she is adorable.

Her parents are from Germany, and listening to her

momma talk to her in German was fascinating to me.

Maybe later I can introduce you to them.

I have been pretty busy!

2009-07-21T17:00:00.004-05:00

In Mississippi

I was at my friends house for a couple nights in Mississippi and we found this beautiful creature in her plant on the patio. So of course I had to get a picture of it.

And this is one of her other flowers.

Melinda has tons of flowers and plants.

This is one of the bridges in Florida
and I think that is soooo cool.

Here are some pictures of the beach

that Scott and I scouted out.

It is called Beasley Beach.

Life guard on duty!

Some wild flowers on the beach.

Sea Oats!!

Condos on the beach front.

I could stay there for a while.

I love the water.

Isn't it just beautiful?

Time Flying By

2009-07-17T08:05:00.002-05:00

It's Been How Long???

It seems I have not talked to you all really since I was leaving to see Michelle in Florida. I still can't believe it all worked out for us to go and as I have said I had a great time. It's not like I didn't expect to have a good time, but I just didn't know what to expect having never done something like this before. I have never met with someone off the Internet, and certainly have never been asked to come attend such a personal event to photograph it. I have not heard from Michelle since I mailed the final pictures, I think she might be out of town right now, so I don't know if she has received the pictures yet or not. I know she won't say she doesn't like them regardless, but I am hoping she REALLY likes them. She was very gracious to bring us there and to allow us a chance to get out of town plus see a BEAUTIFUL community. I loved it.

We did have a couple issues getting to Florida. My husband is NOT tech savy. But he has a GPS system and we took it with us. That being said, I always map quest directions. They do not coincide, let me assure you. So after leaving Olive Branch Mississippi we headed to Destin....not how Map Quest suggested. Ok, he was driving, we went his way, and we got into some place I still do not know where we were and kept driving in circles. I was FURIOUS. I did not lose my cool, I did not yell and scream, but I was boiling. We finally pulled over and got direction....ok, that was at my insistence, he is a man after all AND with a GPS. come to find out there was a brand new road that was not on the map, a really nice new road, and that is how the GPS was trying to get us to. but for some reason it was confusing. The people in the quick shop laughed and said they have had tons of people with GPS's that were lost. Well this was in Alabama, and far as I was concerned we should have stayed in Mississippi and then over to Destin. But I will say this....I love driving around and seeing things. Not when I am on a schedule. I wanted to get to Destin at a certain time to see how the lighting was going to be so we could plan the photo shoot the next night. AND it was HOT. Oh my goodness was it hot.

The night we were to do the photo shoot a huge storm came in. The clouds gathered, and Scott and I had checked out a beach earlier that day, but it was further out than what we realized. So as we were driving around like crazy people trying to get there before the darkness set in, we stopped at an Air Force Private Beach. Thanks to Wes we were able to get in and take pictures, but the guy would only give us about 20 minutes for the beach was closing. Do you know how hard it is to try and do a huge family photo in 20 minutes? It was hard. But I think I got some nice shots. I would love to have everything be just right, all conditions, timing, etc. But it didn't happen. Why this happens to me all the time, I just don't know. But you know what.....???? Everyone was so gracious and went with the flow. We went back to the hotel and took pictures in the lobby and although I didn't like them, they were still cute in some ways. I had to use my flash and that was not good, and I would love to have had my studio lights, but of course I didn't, but you know what.....we made it.

The next day we went to the public beach. I don't like taking pictures with all the "tourist" in the back ground, but it happens. Thank goodness for photo shop. You would not believe all the people I have just erased from this world in those pictures!!! ha ha ha The beaches are beautiful there. I just can't tell you how pretty that place is. But you know what touched me more than anything???? The family WANTED to get together. And the family wanted to do pictures, and the family wanted to spend time together, and the family had fun together. I makes me so sad to see how much fun they had and I can't get my family together for anything with out so many issues. I wish my family would all go somewhere and have fun together. But that is NOT going to happen. That just truly makes me sad. So Michelle, you all are really special and very blessed to have the bond you have.

After leaving Florida we went back to Mississippi and stay a night at a high school friend of mine. Melinda was my maid of honor in my first wedding and we have not stayed in close contact after all of that. Or we have talked a bit, we have seen each other a few times since then, 30 years ago, but not super close contact. It was just like we saw each other yesterday. We hugged, and talked talked talked. We ate lunch out, we picked corn, the processed it. We fixed dinner, it included fresh corn....imagine that! We packed in so much in a very short time and then we had to head home. On the way home we decided to drive a couple hours out of our way and go see TJ. I called him first of course and asked if he would have time to meet with us if we were going to do this. He said yes, so for a two hour drive we spent a couple hours with my son. I have not seen him since Christmas, it seems I see him about two or three times a year now which is very hard for me. but such is life and it is what it is and life goes on. It was a WONDERFUL visit. We met at a Mexican restaurant, ate and visited, and then went to a discount flooring store to look at some possibilities for him and Amanda. It was nice to have him ask Scott's opinion on the flooring and to seek advise since Scott is very knowledgeable in building. but of course the final decision is between TJ and Amanda for it is their home not ours. It was just nice to be a part of his life even if it was just for a few precious minutes. I miss him so much, we used to have good talks, laugh a lot, and just have fun sharing life. I never realized how difficult it is to lose your son to life. But it is sure better than losing him to death as I am sure others can relate to. Nothing prepared me for this stage of life and how I would feel. So Mental momma, Debbie, Joni, having a son is such a blessing, but the empty nest is horrible when they move away and life is so different. Do I hear an Amen on that? I never dreamed when my son married life would change so drastically. I thought I would be gaining a new family member, not losing one. I dreamed we would have a close relationship and would love one another. We would talk, share, laugh and just be friends. I know we love each other, but I sure do miss them not being in our lives. It is the toughest part of motherhood I have experienced so far. But I am thankful for them none the less. In fact, I bought tickets for TJ's birthday to a Ranger vs Red Socs game. But it is in Texas IN AUGUST. and I can't stand the heat. So I bought tickets in the air conditioned area that has leather recliners and a buffet. ok, can you say spoiled??? Yes I am. But if I am going to a game, I want to really enjoy myself. We are doing this for TJ's birthday get together. We were going to go to his house but since they have torn the flooring up and out, they would rather not have company. Her folks got them stuff to stain the concrete once they pulled up the carpet. This was their Christmas gift, but Tj can't get the floor in the right condition to be stained and he has no help so he said he would rather us not come down till he gets it fixed. So we will meet in Dallas and stay the night. Now Beth wants to go, so my dear husband has decided to stay home and take care of the dogs and house while Beth goes with me to see her brother for his birthday. Isn't that one of the most selfLESS acts you have ever heard of? I cried when he suggested it. He heard me trying to get another ticket for Beth to go with us after she called and said she would like to go. She has not seen her brother in nearly two years. and she misses him so much too. So I guess that is what we are going to do. I will drive to the City to pick her up, we will drive to Dallas, go to the game and then go shopping the next day before coming back home. It will be good for Beth and me too! Scott is very kind in making this offer. I really didn't think it was right for him to stay home but after much talking we decided it was the right thing!

We had a gathering for the 4th of July (on the 3rd) . It was a very hectic time as that seems to be my life. I had several photo shoots going on, dealing with a roofer that did not want to finish his job (still has not put the guttering on!) I failed to get every one called and notified about the gathering and I feel HORRIBLE ABOUT IT. I left my nephew out. His parents didn't get to come for Kim had just had surgery about three days before and I didn't contact them knowing she would not be able to come. And darn it, I just flat forgot to call their son who has moved to Stillwater. Darn it. Now I know their are hurt feelings and I feel terrible. But we changed the date a couple times, I was trying to work it where the most people could come ....Beth and my brother Rob, and just flat overlooked my nephew. I feel like a heel. We don't see him very often at all and to make it worse, he has been in Iraq for about a year or more. I don't think he was here last year for the 4th either. In fact, I don't think he has been home for a year yet...I can't believe I forgot to call him.

I have had the grandkids since being back from Florida. I am going to miss those kids when they move away. I have to make the most of the next two years, it will fly by in a blink of an eye. I don't know how I will manage when they move. My heart will be broken. Allie is my girl. Caleb is a sweetheart, but he is getting to the age that grandma is ok, but he is growing up! Allie is still little and loves to cuddle and WANTS her grandma. I love it. It is fun having different relationships with each of the kids. Caleb and I watch a movie each night he is here. We fix popcorn, sit in the recliner, and have our time together. I love that time. and I treasure it. I also treasure the closeness that my step daughter and I have now. I worried that this day may never come....but I always dreamed of the day when she and I would be close. Her mother died when she was 13, what a horrible age to lose your mother, i mean any age is bad, but that is at such a critical time in a girls life. She has developed into a wonderful mother, wife, AND daughter. I am so proud of her.

We have decided to make this the year of travel. We are taking the grand kids to Branson, MO for vacation. We will make it a three day, two night vacation. We are staying at a hotel that has an indoor water park....now what do you think about that? Then plus our little trip to Dallas, and we also think we are going to run up and see Mt. Rushmore. Then we can stop and see my dear dear friend Linda. I love driving and seeing the country side. Our last out of the country dream is Holland to see my Exchange daughter and her two children and husband. We want to run up to Yellowstone, and even the northern CA coast and maybe even Oregon. As much as I love my dogs, they sure do put a damper on our travels.

Ok, I guess I will close with this long post. I am not going to post any pictures right now, maybe later I will show you the turtle that Allie found, the squirrel that the dogs could NOT get, and a couple others I have taken lately. But for now.....hi you guys, how are YOU doing???

New Post Coming.....Later

2009-07-14T00:28:00.002-05:00

Maybe This Weekend

Ok, I have had the grandkids, been editing pictures like CRAZY...

oh so that means I have been taking pictures.

Plus we had a 4th of July get together here,

and just tons of stuff going on.

I have not blogged in a while and plan on trying to give an update

this weekend as to what all has been going on. Since

it has been forever, it probably means it will be a long posting.

Oh that's not good.

Thank you for checking on me....I'm still alive and kicking!

Michelle's Florida Family Reunion

2009-07-03T09:03:00.009-05:00

OK Everyone.....

SMILE !

This is why I was allowed to go to Florida this summer...and what a trip it was.

Most of you know Michelle.

Well I got to go to Florida to document the

Making of Memories.

These kids all seemingly got along GREAT.

And were all so much fun.

These are the adult/kids
Wes (on the left) and his cousin siblings.

They are NOT in birth order...I messed that up
by wanting a height thing.

Wes, Michelle and Shay.

Brian and his family.

Oh I LOVE this picture...the look she is giving him!

Jennifer and her girls.

Brian and his son...who is one of the neatest young men I have EVER MET.

I think he stole my heart while I was there.

Michelle and Wes were two very gracious host

and made Scott and me feel so welcomed.

Look at this family...is this not hysterical?

I said "I want attitude".....do you think I got it?

But see how much joy and happiness there is in this family?

I really wonder if they would adopt me?!

The sun was so bright and we even got up early.

But 8:00 in Florida is not quite early enough.

And HOT. Oh man was it HOT.

Heat wave.

Now these two people are awesome. This is

Wes' aunt and her hubby.

Talk about people with humor.

Yes, I loved them too.

I LOVE this picture,

and also this one below.

This was a great couple.

More of the kids.

again.

and more.

we lost the sun so went to the hotel to

take pictures.

This was the night the storm was coming in

and like a thief in the night....

it stole my sunlight away.

They still had fun.

This is Wes and his father.

Wes and his family with his dad.

I LOVED Shay's outfit.

and THIS is the REASON

we were here.

THANK YOU MICHELLE.

I hope you like the pictures.